Why are some subjects 'off limits' with my boyfriend?

from his point of view... maybe he is uncomfortable by something you want to discuss or maybe he does not know what to say about something you bring up.

you should not have to censor yourself with your boyfriend because you are supposed to trust each other, confide in each other, be open with each other about all things... the only thing about that is that there are still certain things that you need to respect his privacy about.

1-past conflicts= if you have moved past them, learned from them, fixed your relationship then they should be left in the past. if it is something that keeps coming up then you guys do need to face that problem again and figure out what works for BOTH of you in order to move forward.

2-ex-girlfriends= if she is an ex, is out of his life, if he's happy with you and has moved on then he probably thinks 'why do we need to talk about her? i am happy with you... i want to talk about US and focus on our future.' girls have a much harder time moving past the past. we compare the ex's to ourselves... we think about what they did together/what they had together... here's the thing...remember that he is with you! he chose you! he probably sees no need to talk about his ex because she doesn't matter to him anymore.

3-the "M-word," aka marriage- he does need to be open with you about his feelings but let him come to you to talk about them when he is ready to share them. if you push or pry he wont want to talk about any of it... there is a quote "men are clams and women are crow-bars." wouldn't you rather him share something with you because he wants to, because he feels that he should, because he's ready to? not because you make him..? maybe he needs more time to figure himself out before he shares with you (it is SO big of a thing).

my advice is just to trust him, enjoy him, build your relationship in little ways and as you take the pressure off of himself i think he will enjoy your company more and open up as he starts to feel safer, more aware of himself, and more comfortable to express what he thinks/feels/wants. and remember that guys have feelings... how do you react when someone makes you do something you don't want to or talk about something you're not ready to? what always seems to help in situations like this or relationship problems in general is to put youself in the other person's place and see where they are coming from. it's all give and take. if you are living to make him happy and he is living to make you happy then it should all even out.

good luck!

Don't think of it as censoring yourself around him, just respect the fact that there are things that he doesn't want to talk about. If there were things that YOU didn't want to talk about that HE kept on pressing, I'm sure you'd think that he was being insensitive. Why do you think it should be any different when there are things that he doesn't want to talk about?

He probably knows that those are sensitive subjects and opts not to discuss them because he doesn't want to get into it. Avoiding conflict is sometimes a good thing, right? Think about it that way.

As I woman, I think we all want to hear, "My ex was the worst person ever! You, sweetheart, are the best thing that has ever happened to me!" However, if he doesn't say those words exactly, maybe he fears that you'll get upset with him for not telling you the truth. But if he says something like, "She was alright. We had some good times together!" then you might be hurt because you feel like he still cares about her. Guys oftentimes feel like they just cannot win.

And about marriage? If he mentioned it once and never again, then maybe he's afraid that you'll take him too seriously, when perhaps he's not ready to pop the question exactly yet.

Give him the benefit of the doubt. Love him for him and just let these issues go.

He's afraid of your reaction. I don't know what your reaction is, but he's afraid of it. His reticence regarding past conflicts is very predictable. Why would he want to bring old fights into the light? Why risk more fighting? He might also be trying to avoid long, protracted discussions, which men often find very tiring. I can see how the subject of his ex-girlfriend or his mentioning of the word "marriage" might bring about such a marathon. I can only guess, but these are some common reasons why men don't want to talk.

Maybe he doesn't like talking about past relationship difficulties. You don't really have to censor yourself that much, you know what he doesn't like talking about, so don't bring up the argument you had last week unless you feel whatever cause the conflict hasn't been resolved and don't obsess over past girlfriends. Sounds like everything else is in the clear.

My dear girl. "Past conflicts" is just that. The past. Don't ever bring them up again. Its pointless and especially if they were unresolved or he lost out and was proven wrong. If he did the same to you its like rubbing your nose in it.

Why even discuss the ex-girlfriend? Are you spoiling for a fight? let that go too. Leave her where she belongs....an 'ex'. And ONE TIME you heard the word 'marriage'. Yet you pump him for information on this. For Christ's sake let it go will you? He'll discuss that with you in his own damn time.

These are all "Past" or "ex" subjects. Quit asking. They're history and you'd be very wise to leave 'em that way. Sometimes there are things that may be there that you'd wish you'd never asked about and found out about.

Ex's should definitely be off limits but besides that he should be a little more willing to talk to you. Maybe approach the topics in a different way and be totally positive about them. Maybe bring things up to him that you need help on.... a situation your going through and show him that you need him to be there to talk to you about things sometimes, and maybe that will show him that he can talk to you about things too. Some people are just very personal and unfortunately you might have to deal with it. Maybe when he feels confortable he will bring these subjects up on his own. Good luck!

he probably just avoiding getting into a fight or argument over these touchy subjects. i've come to notice that practically all guys will try their best to avoid fights like that, but you should respect his decisions about these topics as well - hey, at least he's not trying to start a fight! plus, there are plenty of other things you guys can talk about. if the whole thing still bothers you then you could try telling him, he'll probably understand - but this doesnt mean he'll be up for conversation

it's apparent that he wants to keep the past in the past... a common thing us girls try to do is continuously bring up the past... I see your point, however... if he'd just discuss it with you, answer your questions, then you'd move on, correct? I've seen too many people who dwell on the past, however, and maybe he thinks that's what you are doing... unfortunate communication barrier... Maybe give it a rest for a while, quit frusterating yourself and him... I agree that those are issues that should be discussed at some point... but not at the present...

this used to happen with me and my boyfriend too. now we both are comfortable talking about anything, even if it does make us mad or uncomfortable. but you really have to go slow with guys, don't try to go into deep conversation with him all of a sudden. kind of ease your way into it. make sure that he is at least semi comfortable with you because that may be a reason why he doesn't want to talk about these things with you. It also had to do with how long you have been together. as he becomes more comfortable he probably will be more able to open up to you. another thing to look at is his personality, he doesn't seem to be the kind of guys to tell you his whole life's story at once, so you also have to be understanding. mostly be patient, and understanding if you guys build a good relationship then he will feel comfortable opening up to you.

good luck!

You've hit upon the one area your boyfriend does not have infinite courage. Communication. Many men simply know that when they speak of these things they cannot communicate accurately they're feelings. That makes men very uneasy. Take it easy on him when beating him using your supierior communication skills.

Men unlike women don't like to share at all. Take us to be the dark, shallow creatures of the graveyard. When a guy remembers a disturbing past, just like women they get emotional , but men are not emotional creatures, so he tries to pull himself together before he breaksdown ( you don't want to see that ). Its a response from his inside, past memories (ex-gf), undecided future (marrriage ) may trigger unfinished business and lure the men in to uncertainty which from a guy's point of view is like a nightmare.

Get more friendly with him,he is not ready to express everything yet, dont force, in time express yourself and you will find he is doing the same.....

(Men usually don't express , they bury it deep dark inside)