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Hate losing. Don't really care about winning. What do I really want? (Competition)?
I hate losing because I want to beat my friend. But when I win I don't feel all that great, just a little satisfied if anything.
This has perplexed me for a while on a philosophical level, but recently it has directly affected me. I’ve been playing a fighting video game (Super Smash Bros on N64) with a friend pretty intensely for some months. Naturally the skill level changes from time to time, he's good and wins all the time, I become good and win, etc etc. I hate losing to him, especially after a few times in a row; but then when I win I just feel moderately good, and after a few wins in a row I very quickly become bored with winning.
“What’s the problem?” you ask. Well, I agonize over losing. And I tend to lose more often because I am unenthusiastic about winning. Therefore the majority of the time I am feeling negative. 1) Why agonize if I don’t care about reward: winning? 2) How can I enjoy winning in general (not just one win here and there)? 3) Arggh, what do I really want!?
P.S. This attitude is very evident in other areas of my life, I absolutely abhor being bad, it's so embarassing, but I don't really care that much about being good. In sports, I don't really care if I'm better than other people, I become upset or frustrated if I think I'm worse than other people. And I absolutely hate being the worst. What do I like? I know I can say for sure I like close games.
P.P.S. I want to be the kind of person who wins and wins and doesn’t have second thoughts about winning. I know many people who are like this, they get their kicks out of winning. One of my friends wins this game 95% of the time and has no second thoughts about it. Even though I think I’m very capable of reaching this level and a part of me wants to reach this level, I just can’t seem to have the mindset to do so.
1 Answer
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
this is a very odd and serous problem the reason you get bord with winning is because its not you winning this time its him. you know deep down that hes loseing but it feals like hes winning because you dont win as much as him. If you win evry time or like you sed 95% of the time you would feal better. i had the same problem so i trained and i train tell i was better now im the one winning all the time so i dont get bord any more.