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how about this?
my cup runneth over that's when you'll come around
the moment I'm thirsty you're nowhere to be found
in the fruit of my labors your quick to partake
when I need a favor excuses you'll make
in your time of need the guise of friendship you'll wear
when the need is the other way yu'll have nothing to spare
when there's no clouds up in my sky that's when you'll stop on by if the weather's no longer fair forecast says you won't be there
4 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
I guite like that. It was sad, but not depressed. At the end I felt a twinge of hope left, which is very cool. The rhymes were rather good as well. Good job.
- craft painterLv 51 decade ago
I thought it was really good till the last about the clouds, etc. I think I would end it differently then you did. I really liked it till that point and it really had a lot of feeling and emotion in it. Really good till the end!!
