My stepdaughter just told me she wants to go on birth control. Advice please.?

Put her on it. If she want to be on it she might alreasy be having sex or plans to. She is being responsible enough(a 14 year old having sex is not responsible) but since you cannot stop her, put her on it. Better that then a 15 year old mother and a baby that you're raising.

Talk to her about why she wants to go on it and if she's having sex. If she's having sex at least she's being responsible enough to go on the pill, make sure she has plenty of condoms as well, assuming she is having sex.

This is a good way to segway into talking to her about it, but if she lives with or visits her mother, her mom will probably get pissed if she isn't told that her daughter is starting on the pill.

EDIT: spelling nazi, giving them a pill isn't telling them to go whoring around. I have known people who quite honestly went on the pill because of horrible cramps or because their periods were beyond abnormal, not so they can start having sex. This is why I also suggest having a conversation with the daughter.

I think those that assume the pill = sex show their ignorance, give the girl the benifit of a doubt. She may not be thinking about or even considering sex. I know when I left for college I wanted to go on the pill, not so I could sleep with people but because I knew I was going to a college in the middle of nowhere and I didn't want to get raped and have absolutely no protection from pregnancy, her stepdaughter could be worried about that as well.

First, you leave Mom out and you are asking for a world of pain. If she finds out others knew but not her, well I would rather be out of the room for that one.

Second, discuss this with the step-daughter and say it is a decision that she, Mom, Dad and possibly you, must discuss together and look at all of the pros and cons of birth control. Especially at 14.

I just don't think that helping her hide stuff and lie to her mother are the right way to go about this.

At 14 she can go to Family Planning w/o anyones permission to get BC. She may be asking because she feels comfortable with you and her dad, not her mom, about such a delicate issue. Just because she wants to go on it doesnt mean she's having sex, yet. It could be a friend went on it and she wants to fit in. But if she is, better to be safe than sorry. Maybe mom would refuse. Dads do have a say in this kind of situation. Once they leave the house for school in the am or go out with friends or whatever, we really dont know 100% what they are doing. 14 is young, but younger have gotten pregnant.

As parents, I'm sure you're preffered choice is that she just abstains from having sex. I know I would. But there is wisdom in her asking to get on the pill. She clearly doesn't want to get pregnant and is trying to do whatever it takes to avoid it, short of abstainance.

My mom asked me if I wanted to get on the pill when I was 16, once she realized I was in my first real relationship. I said yes, she got mad at me, but put me on anyway. It was an advantage to me because I didn't get pregnant until I chose to when I was 25. But the thing is, I didn't have sex until after I got on the pill. So I question whether or not I would've even had sex if it hadn't have been for getting on the pill.

When it all comes down to it, its your choice, but given that she asked, I recommend letting her get on. But I wouldn't do it without her mother's permission first. Granted, there might well be a big fight in the family, but in the end she'll get on the pill. That fight would be much better than her getting pregnant, wouldnt it? Another I reccommend is to have a nice long talk with her about STD's and how she still needs to use a condom. Also considering getting her that HPV shot.

Good luck!

It seems to me she is quite a sensible young lady..Lets face it many arnt..your obviously doing a good job between you..

Seriously let her go on the pill..regardless of what you say or do, she'll do it anyway and probably get pegnant,,, give her the benefit of the doubt..explain the ins an outs, be honest an truthfull inform her that pregnancy isn't the only thing to worry about..try to talk to her like your best friends..Ive found it works, after all she's a teenager an they hate being talked to like baby's..but let dad decide i'd also leave the decision on telling her real mom to him too.!! Gd Luck...

Your husband is the one who has to make this decision. Yes, you ought to make it together, but he's the one with parental authority legally...and this could become a legal matter. Certain questions of authority are critical here. Does your husband have the authority to make doctor's appointments for this girl?

If he does, schedule a gynocological visit for your stepdaughter ASAP. She may already be involved in sexual activity, and she requires testing for STDs. Also, if she wants to behave like an adult in this regard, she needs to learn IMMEDIATELY what her responsibilities are. It's important that she get the impression regular gynocological visits and tests for STDs are a matter of course and an imperative responsibility.

Second, your husband needs to speak with the girl's mother. It's getting way ahead of yourselves to consider doing anything on the sly before you've even spoken to her. She has a right to be included in this decision; she may even have the sole right to make this decision depending on your custody arrangement. If you don't speak to this girl's mother, you also teach her that she can go behind a parent's back...and you still have 3 1/2 years of parenting to go. Terrifying.

If the girl's mother and father can't come to an agreement, you're far from done with options. First of all, there's no law against you and her father buying condoms and putting them in a linen closet or medicine cabinet. With a little subtle conversation, you can make it clear that they're there...and that while you didn't buy them for her you don't plan on counting them. Let's face it, this isn't about sex. It's about saving her life.

It's also time to have a much-enhanced sex-talk with her. This isn't about the birds and the bees; it's about the world. It's time to discuss date rape, integrity, how to be a good partner in a relationship, how to end a relationship with kindness and decency, how to recognize potential for abusiveness, and other things that she needs to know. She needs to know about all forms of birth control, all common STDs and their symptoms, self-exams for breast cancer, and the stats of teenage pregnancy. Meanwhile, until she can take proper precautions her dating must be curtailed. Explain that she needs information; part of proper adult behavior is not doing something important until you have all the information. She's not an adult yet, though, and you have to make sure she's careful.

Be thankful that she felt that this was something she could discuss with you, which is better then being sexually active with not having discussed this or even thought about protection. Somebody did something right - big props. As far as approaching it in a senisible way, the issue has already been approached, now just discuss it. God Bless.

I would deff look into putting her on birth control if this is something that she really wants!!! But I would also discuss this with her mother too!!! I (as being a mother) would want to be kept in on the loop about this, because if mom found out, and you or her father didn't tell her, she is going to be really mad!!!

i am the mother of an eight year old.when it comes the time that she takes an interest in boys i will put her on the pill because the last thing i want for my daughter is to be a teenage mother.as much as i kills me to think that she would be sexually active at a young age it is a hell of a lot better than rearing a baby when she would still only be a baby herself.

her mother has the right to know because, well, she's her mom. i think i'd rather put my daughter (or stepdaughter) on birth control instead of becoming a grandma at a very young age BUT someone needs to also sit down with her and discuss std's, emotional readiness, and why abstinence is a better choice at her age.