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Amber E asked in Pregnancy & ParentingPregnancy · 1 decade ago

How to get family to realize I'm not JUST pregnant?

I am 16 weeks pregnant with the first grandbaby on my side, and the first in a while on my husband's side. I love my family and I am grateful that they want to be involved in my baby's life--but they are overdoing it just a bit. For example, my birthday was Saturday, and I got a HUGE backpacking baby carrier thing. It's going to be AWESOME to have in about 2 years, but until then there won't be a baby and then it will be too small to be using it. So does anybody have advice about either how to get over this or how to kindly tell my family (and his) that I'm more than just a baby-carrier?

Update:

I'm not trying to be whiny, unappreciative, or the primadonna center of attention. It's not that I needed something big and expensive for me. I love that everyone wants to know about the baby and be involved. It's just that (besides the morning sickness) I don't even feel or look pregnant yet, but it's all anyone else acknowledges.

14 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I so know what you mean. Its obnoxious. You just kind of have to deal with it. I called my husband a few weeks ago balling telling him that all I am now is a vessel to carry our child in. i dont know about your family but with mine I dont think it will get better till the baby is here

  • 1 decade ago

    You know what...on your birthday they should have gotten something for you....It's hard for people to understand that your still a person..but people get soooo excited over a baby...and thrilled ( even perfect strangers ) that your having one...that they do tend to be single minded and over do it a bit....I can't really give you a suggestion on how to handle it, you have to follow your heart there...you run the risk of hurt feelings no matter which way you look at it....do you think it would be better just to bite your tongue? Or do you feel deep down inside that what they are doing is truly horrible and they need to know it? You wont be pregnant forever,....and to be honest, it's really nice that people want to buy things for the baby...it will sure save you a lot of money in the long run.

  • 1 decade ago

    I realize it's not that your ungrateful for the gift, you just feel a little slighted b/c it's your birthday not a baby shower. You really should just let it go though. You won't be preggo forever.

    Choose your battles with the family b/c pretty soon you'll be trying disipline your kid and grandma will want to give him a hug instead, nip that one in the bud!

    Just remember, you are the mom aka supreme ruler of your child. If you want to home school and feed it ice cream everyday for breakfast, it's your business. Nobody will ever know what your kid needs better than you so, be prepared to put that foot down with the family, but not over this one, sweetie. Good luck!

    Source(s): momma of 2-turned a grandma's face red once or twice, lol
  • 1 decade ago

    I'm asking everyone to get me baby stuff for my birthday, and christmas. Moneys been tight with us, and this is our second kid. Things should let up for us after the begining of the year, but for now i would love for everyone to just buy things for my daughter, and the baby. I don't need anything. Just make sure they are taken care of. Can't hardly tell a 6 year old that there won't be much for christmas :(

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  • 1 decade ago

    Oh dear, that sure is common. You're going to have to be lovingly blunt to the relatives that you appreciate their excitement over the new baby, but that you're still you with your own interests too. Having said that once the baby's born the trend will continue as in every conversation you will be called "so and so's" mommy. Your name won't hardly be used anymore! However, most moms are pretty proud of their little ones and don't mind it too much. :)

  • 1 decade ago

    Unfortunately thats what happens with a first baby. You should have seen the crap I went through with my son. He's the first grandchild on both sides of the family and still the only boy for this generation on my side of the family.

    Just wait until baby gets here and all the advice that makes absolutely no sense starts coming in. The one I loved the best(NOT) was you have to let a baby cry it out. My son was not thriving on his formula since he couldn't keep it down and I was continuously told to put him down since I was spoiling him! You cannot spoil a newborn!

    You'll learn how to turn a deaf ear to all the crap and just let it move on. You can't change how people are going to act especially when it concerns babies. Accept that they love you and are excited about baby coming.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Relax, they're just excited and want to buy, buy, buy goodies for the new grand-baby to be...accept the gifts and file them away in the closet. They're trying to be NICE, be glad that you have people that are supportive. There are so many people that don't have parents and don't have loved ones around to offer them anything. Be grateful.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hun, it was a great gift and i would be very thankful for it i would be getting excited about when i can use that carrier omg u r having a baby. relax and excite yourself for the treasure that u are carrying

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I would have been grateful for that carrier- I've always wanted one, and never received one, and I have two kids. Our families (My parents, and my husband's four "parents", various siblings...) couldn't care less about our kids.

    You don't know what you've got till it's gone~

  • 1 decade ago

    oh honey dont be that way, there happy to see you prego and if they want to buy you something for the baby let them. i wish some one could have bought things for my two kids.

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