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ABC's of ex-girlfriends?
A
is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after your money and could have given a **** about you.
B
is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!
C
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.
D
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?
E
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when you took her out and she said "I'm not hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice place because you were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate more than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So you flip the bill and are broke for the next two weeks and she wonders why you were unable to call her that week and go see movies.
F
is for Friends. That is what she just wants to be. As if you can even stand to look at her.
G
is for Gun. And yes there is a waiting period.
H
is for Horny. Remember when she looked nice and even had a personality? Well, you figure it out.
I
stands for I still hate her. Odds are I always will, unless she calls me and offers me favors.
J
stands for Jim. This is her new boyfriend. Doesn't Jim have a nice car ? Doesn't Jim have a good job? Why does Jim want to date her? I think Jim could do much better. I hate Jim. Jim is my mortal enemy.
K
stands for Kill.
L
is for Love. It's a great euphoric feeling that exists between two people and is shared upon by both parties.
L
is also for Lunatic. Lunatics are crazy. Lunatics are the last people that actually believe in love.
M
stands for Mephistophiles. That is who she worked for.
N
stands for Necropheliac. She didn't move very much, did she?
O
is for On top. When on top she has another O word.
P
is for Pill. She said she was on it. She lied. She is now sueing you for a few hundred bucks a month.
Q
is for Quitter. She couldn't last.
R
is for Rich little *****. She bought my love but I paid for it.
S
stands for Suffer. That's what she made me do.
T
is for torture. Torture is what she did. She tortured you with the truth. She also tortured you with lies.
U
is for Understatement. Saying you hate that ***** is an understatement.
V
is for Voluptuous. That is the primamry reason you were dating her in the first place.
W
stands for Whine. She was a pro at this.
X
is for Xylophone. Because X is always for xylophone.
Y
stands for You suck! Remember when she yelled that at you.
Z
stands for ZIPPER. This is what you got your hair stuck in while trying to get dressed too quickly while she yelled "QUICK! They're home!"
.
stands for period. Which is a couple of weeks late, because she lied to you about taking what P stands for. It also means you won't get any for a week.
20 Answers
- BRIAN MLv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
B is for Been there with every one - Very funny. you always post good one
- Anonymous7 years ago
The most effective way to do this is to send your ex a test message or an email explaining how you think they were right and that the
breakup may actually be a wise decision for now. Try saying something like,
"I've thought about it a bit more and you're probably right... things haven't been going very well between us lately,
and I think we've both been sitting on those feelngs. Some time apart is probably a good idea."
Once you've sent your ex this message explaining why you agree with the idea of breaking up, it's time to shut down the lines of
communication. Your ex may respond to your message and try to stimulate further conversation, but now isn't the time for that.
See more at: http://getyour-exback.info/
- 5 years ago
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/WQ7MW
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
- Anonymous5 years ago
Splitting up is hard but it's great to have your ex wanting you back. When you were going out, did she ever say "I will never stop loving you" or "I want to stay with you forever and always will"? Well, they definitely will if you follow these steps
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- 1 decade ago
Hey buddie,
Not as funny as the chilli eating contest but extreamly LOL
Stars for you 9/10 joke woot woot and to the other answerers I ACTUALLY LIKES THE XYLAPHONE...it was a stupid funny :P catch ya later
-christina xxoox
- lazybird2006Lv 61 decade ago
I like it, very good. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
But I must stand up for us females, we are not all like that, just a couple out of every couple of thousand.
- 1 decade ago
Hahaaha, I was laughing for all of them, especially xylophone! x is alwalys for xylophone...that was just hilarous! star for you, good job!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
how true are some of these?
& i truly believe that you study & research everything you lift wholesale when you copy & paste
babyblue talk about pot calling kettle ha ha ha
