Feminists: What kind of man (or woman) do you date?

i'm married to an anti-feminist, ex-thug loner that basically grew up in foster care / juvenile hall.

he's a hard working, blue collar type that would do anything for me. once he confronted & chased down a guy that was trying to break into my car & beat the crap out of him!

he wouldn't let me buy him a drink for the longest time when we were dating (i had to sneak off to buy my own! and if i bought him one he'd make me drink it!).

his motto is "if all else fails, hack it to pieces" he's very blunt. he's the type to go thru something rather than around.

he's really a great guy, a lot of fun to be around. friggin hilarious!! and a wonderful husband & he's GREAT with kids. he's training to be my labor coach & makes me lunch so it will be nutritious & easy for me :) such a sweetie... and he gives great massages (esp back & foot ones!) and he is *so* fine! omg!

edit: yeah, i love him to bits!! and he got SOOO pampered for that (and the black eye he got).

edit@Lycra: actually i wrote my answer before i read yours. so don't flatter yourself :) i'm not a misandrist, so maybe that's where your theory falls apart. my husband is very much against VAWA & custody going to the mother by default, as he's been screwed by them both. consequently, i see the faults in both areas as well, and have mentioned this many, many times.

my husband & i both think people should be equal, we just have different ideas about how to get there. we actually have some great debates. it's fun :)

"Is being a feminist a make or break deal" is the question regarding anti-feminist men dating a feminist. The answer from my lengthy experiences watching and listening to these different peoples is as follows: If initially they are physically attracted to one another this can draw them together wanting tactility most Especially IF drinking therefore not totally aware of each other’s beliefs; however, after that initial encounter or perhaps further trying physical encounters while sober discussions will enter in between these encounters that will create question marks as to their being a couple. This is because beyond the physical lust and even other material things too, when Values are that different as they are in this scenario, daily practical life implications for these two as being one will unravel. He would be sacrificing his centuries-long belief that Traditions such as having children therefore getting off the pill if used, natural breast feeding, family first (or God if religious) is above ALL else especially Government or Institutional interventions into their lives. When this scenario is in place as has been the case since the dawn of all peoples until recent decades, their roles are not Equal at all, but very different in practise however, their roles are of Equal Value to the family unit. All children know this 100% even though many adults will not listen to their ultimate heartfelt needs. She would also be selling out her modern Ideology if the man (along with the child) wishes her to be with the child(ren) breast feeding combined with all the other interactions. This role takes her freedom of choosing her Career back even though children want mother to raise them at least until weaned and then choose Dad or Mom. So the physical attraction no matter how profound such as starving for a surf and turf meal having perhaps not eaten all day, is but a very small part of one's day therefore cannot be the foundation for a lasting relationship whereas daily roles are the key. I might just add that “having a mind of one’s own” as in being Independent of thought, is not as smart as one thinks nor as important as one thinks…the selfless heart and Natural Law lifestyle mind is critical though to human existence just as what ever created us knows.

I'm not married, but I date men that are intelligent, open minded, ready for debate, and most of all.. Independent.

I would actually prefer them not to be a family-orientated person, I just can't see that working out considering I don't want children.

By strength it depends on what you mean.. Physical strength doesn't mean much to me or impress me very much, but emotional strength does.

Shy guys always seem to be pretty nice, as long as they eventually open up to me.

And in the end I don't care much for the labels of 'anti-feminist' and 'feminist'.. It comes down to what they really believe, because today those two words can mean almost anything.

He is a man's man. Brilliant, sarcastic and kind. Successful at anything he puts his mind to. Has 12 best friends, who he enjoys playing ball with from time to time. He is great with his hands... in more ways than one... However, when it comes to our family: he is my hero and a best father in the world. He is everything I ever dreamed about and more. I also am saying that after over 17 years of a blissful marriage to that man.

Well, he's not a "feminist," but he's a lefty, he has a professional job, he's not shy, he's quite possibly the most easy-going guy in the world, and when we locked ourselves out of the house the other day he managed to get the window off the slidey thing without breaking it, so I suppose he's somewhat handy/"strong." I wouldn't classify him as nerdy because he has lots of friends, but he does like "Battlestar Gallactica," which I think is majorly nerdy.

Confident, intelligent, funny, interesting, and believes in social justice and works towards attaining that for others.

My husband is actually all of those and a jock as well, which I forgave him for. Just kidding I think it's great he likes competitive sports. I prefer solitary ones.

Well, I can tell you right off the bat that a feminist would not date an anti-feminist. And same for vice-versa. Duh.

Feminists want the "New Age Man" -- a man that feminists can walk all over. He's an effeminate man that brownnoses feminists, is overly "in touch" with his emotions, doesn't like sports, loves gossip, treats his daughters better than his sons, blames men for everything so he can get accolades (and sex) from his feminist spouse/girlfriend, and constantly talks about how men oppress women. He also must feel "guilty" for being a man. He tends to wear black-framed non-prescription glasses with hair bangs combed over one eye. He can often be seen with an $8.00 cup of Starbucks in his hand, and a notebook full of poems in the other. He's a far-left liberal yuppie that lives in gentrified urban "trendy" areas. May or may not be slightly metrosexual. He hangs out at coffee shops with his laptop computer, gossipping with women and other "New Age" men. Basically a gay man that claims to be heterosexual.

This is the "perfect" ideal man for a feminist. Thankfully, these type of men are rare -- which partially explains why most feminists are single. Most men know how to be real men.

EDIT: Ember Halo, I can tell you're lying. It's as if you just read everything I wrote, then wrote everything that was completely opposite as a petty means of "showing" me, out of spite. You're a feminist, and the man you chose to date was an anti-feminist? How convenient. That would be like an independent woman dating a conservative man that believes in full-fledged chivalry, and thinks a woman's place is in the kitchen. Riiiight.

Yeah right, that would be like me going to a feminist/misandrist convention and looking for dates. Any woman here that reads my posts know I would never do such a thing.

The guy I'm into now seems to agree with feminism, and is confident, outspoken, smart, and way hot. I definitely like that.

I'm dating a Christian who is very sweet and good to me and is shy and strong and maybe a little nerdy but not a total dweeb. He doesn't really know about feminism but we have not yet really talked about it because I'm just getting into it.

My boyfriend is redoing our deck and fixes everything in our house. I think he's absolutely amazing. He thinks he's average, but he's anything but average, which I tell him every day! He's intelligent, mature, fun, affectionate, extroverted, and very talented. He doesn't consider himself liberal. He doesn't consider himself a feminist either, or particularly religious. We respect and love each other, and it works.