A deaf coach who pretends not to hear things he *has* heard in order to manipulate people?

First are you sure about what you are saying? I read lips really pretty well. But there are some people I cannot read well at all - either because they mumble, have a speech defect, or often put things in front of their faces. There are also some words that are really hard for me to speech read. I confuse some words specific words a lot.

So is there a pattern to what he doesn't "hear". Is it a particular person/s? Maybe he has a hard time with their specific speech style.

If you are sure there isn't a pattern - call him on it. Write down what is important to get across to him. Repeat what is important for him to lip read well and use slightly different words. Ask for confirmation that he understands what you say. If he does something different, say I said A, B, & C and you agreed - why did you do what you did.

If you try with your best efforts to change his behavior - then it is time to have a talk with the principal.

He has a duty of care at all times to the people he is coaching.

If he should be wearing the hearing aid in order to hear what is going on behind him, he is surely neglecting his care.

It sounds like he comes from the school of thought that encourages people to work hard and not to give in easily. Sometimes this is good to get people to try better. I am aware of a friend who had a teacher like this and has caused great harm to her. She had a disability which prevented her from certain things but the teacher/coach ignored it & thought she was making it up.

There are some other good techniques to get people to try hard. Perhaps someone could discuss with him about adopting these. It may require getting him on a course so that he can be shown the techniques. Positive reinforcement is one of my favourites (i.e praise when things are done well, not told off for failing all the time).

Are you positive he really doesn't hear you? Next time it happends say 'I think you heared me and I don't like how you pretend to not hear me' if he is a good coach he will listen to you and stop. If it continues, go too your boss or principle and tell him/her.