just a poem, comment if you want.?

Your right Kara, I really like this one. You are branching out, using metaphors and being not so obvious. I love it. You are right. One of your best. Congrats..I am impressed.

shall we see what you have right here: 3 stanzas of 5 lines, all greater or much less iambic pentameter all masculine endings aside from 2 (grinning and blasphemy) pictures that build on one yet another, like beginning with mild from the genuine solar and ending with a representation of sunshine this is a metaphor to your lover's face - o.k. achieved, all in all. I trust the only poster with regard to the word encroach. It tripped me up as too melodramatic each and every time I examine it. you pick something that means encroaching yet has greater mild hearted connotations.

This is a real good poem. It is really dark and shows such pain. I hope it is only a bit of poetry and not a feeling that you are really having. My little brother "accidentally" blew the side of his head off and a few years later, a good friend of mine did also.It was so hard on all of us. I cry anytime I think of both of them.Many years ago, another friend of mine did this on purpose. I will never forgive him for this. But, good poem, it really shows feeling.

You have a talent for writing, I find it a good way to help me deal with day to day stresses, ...but, I'm old enough to be your mom, and speaking as a mom type.....don't be too sad honey, there is a whole life worth of adventure out there for you, and, as I stated, you, my dear have a talent for writing. Keep up the good work !!!!

Your poem makes me sad. Everyone has been in that deep dark hell and pulled themselves up. Just makes me sad.

When dreams are so tight

Reach the height

You can be the next flight

It hits home, I went through that stage in my life and that's exactly what was going through my mind.

morbidly ironic. I can't say that I like it or that it's good, those don't fit. It has something though. Disturbing in it's bluntness.

I like it. Many of mine are dark too.

Kara; nice poem i;m glad your back writing again; as i love all your poems,,Shelly