Wedding for us or for everyone else?

I got married in July. We are from the states, me from Texas, him from New York. We got married in Texas and only a small portion of his family was able to attend. We thought about having the wedding somewhere in the middle but ultimately decided to have the wedding here in Texas. Whoever could make it down from his side would be great, and those that couldnt afford it etc, didnt come. The only people we were really worried about was having both sets of parents there. Everyone else wasnt worried about too much. This was OUR wedding day, no one elses, we wanted our parents there to share it and thats all that matters.

We have thought about renewing our vows on our first anniversary in New York. This way, those of his side that were unable to attend the wedding in Texas, still get to be a part of something special for us.

You could do something similar. Perhaps have some sort of reception when you return to the UK, this way those that were unable to attend the ceremony in Florida still get a part in it.

These people telling you that you are being selfish is silly. You are not being selfish. Being selfish would be going off and doing it with or without them, but you are concerned about getting them there to share in it.

Lots of people have destination weddings, there is nothing at all wrong with it.

If its what you, as a couple, desire, then go for it!!

Hi,

I am getting married abroad next december and we are having the same sort of problem. We were going to get married this december but: My sister and her hubby are immigrating from South Africa to the UK so they will never be able to afford it. My cousin is pregnant and due 5th Dec, which also means she won't be able to make it and neither will her parents (my aunt and uncle). So we have postponed the wedding till next dec. This also leaves enough time to give all of our guests plenty of time to save for the trip.

Here's a few options that i can come up with. 1: go for it as it is your special day, the people who can't make it, simply can't make it. It's sad as you want all your loved ones around you but unfortunately- not everyone can afford that. It doesn't stop you going for your dream but just make sure you have a videographer and then when you come back you can have a get together with everyone who couldn't be there and you can go through the photos and watch the dvd.

2: Get married with your family and friends around you where you don't really want to get married- but feel you should because of your nearest and dearest. At least you are still getting married. Some people say it doesn't matter where or how you get married- its the years afterwards that count.

3: OR you could postphone it for a little while and give everyone a chance to save? Im not talking forever, just a year or so. Afterall you are going to spend the rest of your lives together- a year isn't that long?

I hope this situation doesn't stress you out too much. Don't forget, you're getting married, this hopefully only happens once in your life so ENJOY IT and have a fantastic time. I hope it all gets sorted out soon so that you can go back to planning your special day.

when i got married we went to Disney land my mum came and 6 other people from the grooms side came it was a nightmare firstly my mum and sister wanted me to have wedding at home as my dad is sick and unable to travel i still said no even though i really missed my dad giving me away my sister fell out with me over this so she didn't go neither did the grooms mum dad family etc the only person that went was his aunt the rest was friends the weather was over 100 meal and video photos were lovely.so to cut a long (very long) story short you cant please every one and there was more tears than smiles and i still blame that for us breaking up 5 months later as nasty things were said during the arranging of the wedding and things were not the same after as we didnt back down to please people.if you can afford to pay for the people that you want there go ahead and do that but it sounnds like you are going to have some of the problems i had. on a happier note i am getting married again and staying at home have been arrangeing this for the past year and there hasent been one arguement thankfully so far. all the very best for your wedding and good luck .

You are 100% not being selfish, but you shouldn't expect them to save and come either. You only get married once and this is YOUR day, not anyone else's! Get married where you want to and have a party for everyone back home that can't afford to come. As I'm sure you won't want to look back years later regretting not having the wedding you dreamed of

It sounds like you want your wedding where you want it, and you want to have your loved ones with you. When you have a wedding, you don't want to have any regrets. So, will you regret not having your future sister-in-law and her kids there, or will you regret not having it at Disneyland? Is there any way that your fiance's family can help out financially here - take up a collection of monetary donations to get them the trip to Orlando? There's a lot of ways you could save money - have the family split up and stay with different relatives, purchase Disneyland/airline tickets on ebay/priceline.com/expedia. Are you closer to California - would it be cheaper to have everybody go to Disneyland California?

It is very expensive for a family of 3 to go to Disneyland, so she is not being selfish for not saving - there's a lot more items she probably needs to spend any extra money on - clothing, school supplies, food - so give her the benefit of the doubt.

Oh tricky! One half of me says, just get married over there anyway and s*d everyone else! But on the other hand ,if you want people to be there with you, you have to realise that because it is going to be expensive, that some of your guests might not be able to afford to come.

Why don't you compromise and have your wedding here and your honeymoon there?

Your fiance's sister will just have to explain to the kids, after all .. thats life i'm afraid!

Good luck!!

Why not compromise and get married at Euro Disney. It's a lot cheaper than going to Orlando. You can have all the family there with you and then go to Orlando for your honeymoon. But remember this is your and your partners day, I think you are entitled to be a little selfish, But whatever you choose you are going to have to live with it for the rest of your life. Best of luck.

Are your family members saving to attend your wedding or saving for the wedding itself? What I would do is have a civil ceremony here and then have the wedding you want in Orlando. That way those who can't afford to attend in Orlando can still be here for your civil ceremony, but you get the wedding you want. Not to mention you have two anniversaries and get to wear two different wedding attires. Have fun and Good Luck.

Why not have the wedding in a location that will allow all of your family and friends to attend and have your honeymoon in Disneyland. This would solve the problem. Everyone could attend your wedding and you and your fiance would still get to go to Disneyland. Even if you don't realize it, your decision to have the wedding at Disneyland puts pressure on the people who love you and want to attend but are unable to afford it.

Sounds like you shouldnt be depending on everyone else to save up for YOUR wedding. Why not do the saving yourself and have a smaller wedding here. I am getting married in May next year and we dont have anyone to help pay it for us. I would love to go abroad but cant afford it and thats that!