Playing Outside?

If your gut instinct is to not let him play outside alone, then don't. At 3, most kids aren't very good at recognizing dangerous situations. They can't gauge height or depth very well, and are often not shy about talking to strangers. They also aren't very good at staying where you tell them to :) My children were about 6 when I felt safe letting them play outside with a group of neighborhood children of different ages, so long as I could see them. We lived in a very small town.. right after we moved, they had their first kidnapping. Not to scare you, but usually a mother's intuition is correct.

I have a 9 year old son and a 7 year old daughter. My son loves to be in our backyard, it's big enough so he can ride his bike around, he can play with balls, he has trucks, toys, we have a trampoline. My daughter though, will only play outside for like an hour at a time. She says she wants to come inside, she's bored, she doesn't like the grass etc. What I usually do is let her come inside for like 10 minutes, tell her either she plays outside, or she can come inside and sit in the office I have and stare at a wall. There's absolutely nothing to do in the office, there's a computer she doesn't know how to use, a bed, an empty dresser for guests, and a lamp and some of my books. Usually, she picks outside, because she has Barbies, she has balls, the slide, swing set, the trampoline. And once she starts doing something she likes, she'll stay out there for hours at a time. I would give your daughter either the choice of going outside and doing whatever she wants to do, or she can stay inside and do nothing at all, not even touch a doll.

It is a VERY sad state of affairs in this country when we have to ASK when our children are safe playing outside alone. I remember being 4 and 5 and playing ALL DAY long outside alone (only girl in the family) and we had NO fenced yard, didn't worry about our neighbors or strangers and kidnapping was just unheard of at that time. How sad it is no longer safe to go outside and play.... IF you send your child out in the fenced yard without anything to play WITH, then he will surely try to FIND something to play with outside the boundries of the fence... I would TEST him out a few times... send him out and sit and watch him through a window nearest the yard.... make sure he KNOWS he is not to leave the yard.... but if you have to leave the window for whatever reason, then the child should come inside until you can be back watching again... do this for maybe a week or two until you can trust that he has listened to you about not leaving the yard... but after that, check on him OFTEN... I'd also teach him about STRANGER DANGER ---and give him permission to SCREAM as loud as he can if a stranger comes near him while he is IN the yard alone. if you TEACH the child to be careful, he will be. Thing is, you can't keep your eyes on them 100% of the time no matter WHAT you do....and eventually you WILL have to let them go out and explore...

Don't let him out alone unless he cannot get out of that fence and you are 1,000,000% certain nobody can get in. It doesn't matter how small your town is or what has never happened there. "I never thought it would happen to me" are not the words you want to say.

My son is 4 and will be 5 in March. My friend lets her son that is the same age run all over the place. She makes fun of me for following my son the way that I do...but I always know where my son is, what he is doing and who he is talking to...and he always knows I am there to keep him safe and that he can count on me. I do not hover but I am always right there.

When your mother says those things, I want you to say this in your head... "whatever"....and then do the right thing.

Please get a copy of the DVD "Stranger Danger" at WalMart. It might be called "Safe Side Super Chick" I am not sure which. It is by John Walsh and the Baby Einstein lady. It is a great tool for teaching and learning what to do with strangers. It has been a blessing for us. All I have to say is "this place is full of 'don't knows'" and my son stays right with me. It is a must have for any parent.

Honestly, there is no right answer for this question. Truth is that you and only you know what's best for your son. It's not an issue of how safe your neighborhood is or anything like that, because you know you wouldn't want to be that next victim. If you have a fenced in yard it is probably hard for him to get out, if there is a latch then find a way to secure it and make sure he can't find a place to crawl under it, but if you feel more comfortable watching him while he's playing then do it. If you need to do things while he's playing, make a space for yourself- table for your taxes or a cozy chair for reading! Or find things to do that are close to the windows in your backyard where you can see out and open it to hear him playing! My mom always had a window close to her open when we were outside or she worked on her papers on the patio table and we weren't aloud out until we asked. It was just her way, but don't fret over whether or not you are babying him by keeping an eye on him! He's your son! Of course you are going to want to know he is safe!

I let my four year old play in my backyard alone ... but only because I can see her from the window (and hear her, because I leave the window or door open). I am not worried about her being "snatched" ... the odds of that are astronomically low. I'm more worried about her trying to climb a tree and falling off, or something like that. Certainly you don't have to hover over an almost-4-year-old every second, but it's just prudent to check in every five minutes or so ... you probably check him pretty often even if he's inside, right? (or watch from a window ... then you can still watch and they think they're all grown up).

My daughter is 5 and I still don't let her play outside alone except on our fenced in patio (she cannot get out and nobody can get in, andthen only if I keep the sliding door to the patio open and stay in the living room or kitchen where I can see her at all times. It's maybe 20 feet from the kitchen to the back patio, I'd never go further away, and I make her come in if I have to go upstairs.

Do what YOU think is right and what YOU are comfortable with, don't let anyone tell you what to do. He's only 3, that's still very young.

I am a teacher and director of preschool age children, and I think that 3 and 4 yr old's are still too young to be outside without an adult. They don't fully understand limits. Only you know what's best for your child. It's not just about being kidnapped, it's also about safety and that age is just not ready to be out playing without constant supervision.

I still think that three is too young. If by some chance a stranger came by without you noticing, would your son go with him? I would be afraid my child would be "snatched" too at that age. Three is too young, I would wait till closer to five. But why not just be out there with him? Honestly I do not think that my Mom would have let me play outside alone at three. I would not do it.

i say you are being sensible...i say maybe try to let him play outside alone at three with u inside watching to see what his reactions are..if he appears to stay put andn ot wander off id say slowly wing him off of u watching him and it should be fine