I have to write an essay to apply to M.I.T. The first paragraph sounds sloppy to me. Can someone help?

At five years old my mom introduced me to “my new daddy.” A mere child, I was forced to endure the turmoil of divorcing parents and a split household. I suffered confusion and demoralization. I suffered pains no boy should have to suffer. My heart was broken for the first time. I felt as if life was over, and my world had ended. Nothing was left. When I look back on the whole experience now, I realize that the divorce crushed me. Everything changed when it happened, but at the time, I could not figure out how or why. I was lost in the world, and all I had to help myself were my intelligence and my logic.

The negative effects of a broken household are numerous and omnipresent. For example, I never had many friends as a child. As a matter of fact, until very recently, I had trouble maintaining more that one or two friends at a time. Although when I was young I did not understand why this was the case, now I understand that it had to do with my fear of losing somebody I love. This fear has plagued my entire childhood, preventing me from forming the bonds with other people required to have inner peace. Hence, my one regret in life is I did not have enough friends as a child. Other burdens were laid upon me as a result of my parents’ divorce as well. Stepparents came in and out of my life like a revolving door. I’ve met so many new people through this interaction that I can’t even connect their faces with their names. Although my father is settled now, I pray for my mom’s sake that she will find somebody to love.

The divorce, however, was an important point in my life, and the after effects have created who I am today. While living with so many people, I’ve learned much about human character. I began to analyze people in order to know their “true colors.” Simultaneously, I grew mentally and emotionally strong. I have substituted an increased amount of concentration on education for my lack of friends.