How have you handled strong hatred of a family member?

i totally understand. although i wouldn't call my feelings hatred but instead strong irritation and sometimes anger. its hard when you have these feelings with family because in a way your stuck with them. they are always somehow involved in your life. like you cant get rid of them. whereas if it was just a friend or acquaintance..you could just write them off. here is what i do: distance ...lots of distance. i don't attend birthday parties or other events where i know that person will be there. the only times i put myself in that situation to be around that person is Christmas and thanksgiving. when i do find myself around that person I'm civil and thats about it. i don't have much to say to them. here is a suggestion. if that person bothers you that bad ..talk to your other family members...don't disconnect from the rest of your family....everyone needs family. make other plans with your loved ones away from this person. go out for lunch or go shopping or to a ball game with the people you do want to be involved with. one last thing. don't give that person the power over you. don't allow them to make you bitter. good luck.

Growing up I've dealt with hatred from a family member, could never understand what the reason was for it. From what I can tell, I find no point in confrontation because I doubt there will be resolution. I believe that person's mind has been made up about me and won't ever change. All I can do is be myself. If ever in the same room, I can be civil, don't say much but polite enough that it doesn't affect the other family members. The thing is I've never had to deal with negative comments from that family member directly, it is always indirectly coming elsewhere, but I knew from their body language it is what they feel.

Now as a grown up, I'm dealing with hatred for another family member, once I've grown so close with, but had a falling out over a minor incident. Relationship has gone sour, probably won't ever mend and it is sad. But I've dealt with it the same as I did before. Be civil for the rest of the family, don't include my drama for others to see. Our differences is between us no one else.

I have an older cousin who tried to strangle me when I was 10, he had to be dragged off me by another family member. I have hated him ever since. But since he is the son of my closest Aunt, not having any contact with him is impossible. So I really understand where you are coming from. Even today some 20 + years later the thought of seeing this animal makes my stomach churn with hatred. But when I do have to see him I am polite, and I never say anything negative to him or his family. Sometimes in life you have to suck it up, put a smile on your face and pretend that you can stand to be in the same room with this person. Try this, keep the smile on your face but in your mind be thinking of creative ways to off this person, it might help you keep the smile in place. Good luck.

I would be a hyprocrite if I said to do this or that. I am having the same problem, I am a believer in God and know about forgiveness and all. I pray every night and day for the strenght to forgive and I am slowly, very slowly getting to that point, Just not there yet. My heart is mending but, I know I will never forget and things will never be the same again and it really saddens me greatly. I hope you get the answers you are looking for I will keep watch myself and maybe I'll get inspired to. Good Luck.

i have 2 brothers. we got along great. we were all married with children. the oldest cheated on his wife so she left him. (after 10yrs) was a terrible thing to go through for the whole family. we stayed behind him. but within 2 months he started dating my fathers bestfriend girlfriend that is known for opening her legs for anyone. well that caused a big family fight. he has lost his home, car, picks her over his kids. we the rest of the family hates her. we wont have anything to do with her. he has married her, divorced her and hes back with her again. he calls the family only when he needs something. how do we deal with it? we keep going on with our family we just dont invite him to stuff when hes with her. he knows we hate her. im not the only one that feels this strong. my father, mother , stepmom, sis in laws, my hubby, my children (they are almost grown) his own kids, the WHOLE family hates this girl. and she knows it so she stays away.. good thing...lol

i dont associate with him