Why doesn't my boyfriend's daughter like me?

Have a conversation with your boyfriend. Ask him what his expectations are regarding your role in her life. Let him know that you expect her to be respectful and civil and that you expect him to be supportive. Specifically -- he can't expect you to play chauffeur, cook and caretaker but . . . . .

You know -- the problem is not just you. The problem is that she resents the place you have in her father's life and you and her Dad are not even married. How recent was it since you both got together. Is her Mom involved with someone or does she feel upset because she sees you as the interloper between her Dad and Mom. She is 14 and is old enough to understand. Have a conversation with her. Let her know that although you may not have experienced what she is currently going through regarding her feelings about your relationship with her father -- let her know you respect that and as a woman and a daughter - you understand that. That said -- ask her to agree to at least be civil and respectful to each other. Let her know that if you both agree to make plans to go somewhere -- she should respect you enough to follow through with it. She should also be comfortable enough to tell you up front if she would prefer not to go and you will respect that even if it leaves you feeling disappointed. You are both in an awkward position but you can make the decision to make things easier than it currently is.

I think her having dinner in the kitchen is her way of giving herself some breathing room. She misses her Mom and she is sharing her Dad with another woman. Talk about uncomfortable. You can't really expect her to be over the moon about it but you can talk to her about her feelings, come to an understanding and agree to be civil. In her mind, if she got manicures, pedicures and went shopping with her Dad's girlfriend wouldn't she be betraying her Mother and giving her stamp of approval to her Dad to move on from her Mom? This may not seem logical to you but it is certainly rational in her mind. She is not trying to hurt your feelings, I am sure her heart is just about breaking right now and she doesn't have any other way to let stuff out.

Talk to her - let her know that even if you don't become close friends, you will expect to at least be civil and respect each other. January is not that far away and it would make life a little less difficult to come to terms with the situation that you are all in at this point. Just forget about trying to create bonding moments (i.e. mani/pedi sessions) and let things flow naturally until she leaves.

My two cents.

1. STOP TRYING to be her friend. She obviously has issues and you are making things worse by making plans (mani/pedi) with her.

2. You need to draw up boundary lines with your boyfriend. House rules need to be set up and agreed to by you and your boyfriend. Also, if his daughter breaks these house rules - you and your boyfriend need to agree on consequences ahead of time.

Personally, if I were you, I would just ignore her until she moves out. It's only temporary. Pretend she isn't there. AND, if she starts acting out because you are ignoring her - then see number 3 above.

Also, 14 year old girls are NOT easy to get along with. They really are better off being left alone. Do not take any crap from her (don't let her verbally abuse you or take over your remote control for the TV or the phone, etc...).

The problem you REALLY have to worry about is if you want to have kids with your boyfriend in the future. If you do, you may want to make sure that he's going to be on YOUR team when you are parents. There is nothing wrong with having a talk with your boyfriend that what happened with the "eating at the table" incident is unacceptable to you because you are the adult and she is the child - and he needs to back you up on your rules since it is your house too.

So, the trouble seems to be more with your boyfriend than his daughter.

Please, don't ever let her see you or hear you get mad at her or your boyfriend. Always keep your cool. She wins every time you lose it.

First off - she is 14... she doesn't hate you - she is just a moody little teen!

Secondly - the REAL issue here is her Dad! You need to talk to him and tell him that he needs to back you up - even if he doesn't agree... The last thing she needs to know is that your decisions or your rules or anything you say doesn't matter and will be over ruled anyway! So start there!!!! IT is extremely important that you back him up and he backs you up!!!!

Back to her- sit her down and tell her that if she is rude again she can take the bus home from practice. Tell her that you are the adult and whether she likes it or not she has to respect you and be polite. Tell her you don't mind not being friends with her, but that you will not allow her to disrespect you any longer. Hopefully that works!

Good luck!

at the beginning, bearing directly to the bike and the motor vehicle, you teach her the dents and the paint. clarify that mendacity is misguided, and that if she maintains that as quickly as she tells the fact no person will have self assurance her. tell her you're no longer mad at her, yet that she will consistently inform you the fact and she or he would be in a position to no longer get into situation. extra desirable to consistently be elementary, even though it upsets you while she lies. you may desire to have a take a seat with the boyfriend and clarify the placement. tell him which you comprehend he loves her and has guilt over no longer being an entire time dad, yet that doesn't excuse letting her act in specific techniques, and if she maintains, it is going to easily harm her in the top. do no longer make it approximately you, yet approximately what's ultimate for his daughter.

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Maybe if you broke up with her, then you might be able to be the one who brings up the subject of getting back together. But if you can do it without, it would be much better. But how do you get someone back without seeming desperate? In order to get your ex girlfriend attention, you have to show value without telegraphing your interest in her, while at the same time initiating interaction. So don't ignore your ex texts and calls when they break up with you. It screams that you are so devastated by the breakup that you can't even handle talking to her. You want to respond to her, but do it in the right way. You can even initiate communication if you do it in the right way. You have to maintain a strong frame of confidence, and show your ex girlfriend that your happiness isn't dependent on being with her

Hello,,Teenagers!! After we've grown up and found responsibility to be the most useful thing in life , the concept of raising our/theirs children comes into the picture. The child needs to have their own life, but still they rely on the parent/other to provide the services needed to function in their own way. The boyfriend needs to have more involvement in this, you should think about the future with him. You decide if you want to pick her up after whatever and let him know that he will be responsible for those issues. You have no other option if you are having these issues now.

There are several issues at play here: she is a teenager, and that in it self is a headache; then the fact that you are not her mom so she resents you for "taking" her dad away; you are trying to hard to be buddies, it's not going to happen if you force it. Step back give her space and limit your interaction. You also have to not react to her behavior because that's what she wants you to do. Now in the case of her dad you need to sit with him and have a chat as to what kind of relationship you should have with his daughter. Create the boundaries with both of them or you'll end up hating both of them. Good luck!!

She's jealous. Your not her mother, and your with her father. She is at that age where puberty is taking it's toll. I agree he should be backing you up on things, but in the same token he probably doesn't want her to hate him. It's tough, but I would let her do her own thing. stop being so concerned, and maybe she'll come around. These things take time, don't push.

well look at it this way, its possible you may marry this man, but shes not your daughter, can you honestly picture yourself with this problem child for the rest of your life? its even worse when the father doesnt discipline her, thats why she knows she can be rude to you when she wants. i would not want a boyfriend who's just going to let his child walk all over me when in reality i did nothing to deserve this treatment.

you dont have to deal with that! she's just mad cuz her dad isn't with her mom which is very obvious..i hope he didn't cheat on her with you but anyway that's a whole nother story..the point is that the girl just doesn't like you..i would nevr be that mean and i have a step dad! you just gotta deal with it! she won't be mad at you forever. trust me.