How to get to know my daughters new boyfriend?

Have your daughter invite him over early for dinner to meet him and have some casual conversation to get a feel of him. After dinner maybe extend the offer of desert and then if you are comfortable excuse yourself to another part of the house to give them some privacy.

Good luck.

OH God, a second date! It must be hard being a parent, no wonder my Mother had gray hair all of her life!

I would invite him over to dinner too! Ask him what church he goes to. What his father does for work, his mother, any brothers or sisters. Do you still go to school? Any plans for College? do you drive? with a lic? (that's where you get to laugh a little and see if he has all of his teeth).

I don't know if any or all of the above will make you feel better, but your daughter will be on edge, he will be ready to run out the door, B. the kids will see you for what you are, a parent that only cares about her kids all of the time, wants the best, and hopes to God both of them will pick a movie that doesn't have any nude or bloody body parts in it to watch.

Be a good parent and make some pop corn for the kids and take it in to them with out saying a word about them sitting to close, you can cover that with your daughter after he leaves.

Oh and you can tell her she is lucky to have you and that I said that, not you. Tell her I have friends that work with some really good picture taking stuff from outer space and your going to be on the big screen as soon as I send John back his or her lic. plate number! LOL

Johnny

PS: I can have you a print out of the rules for dating and sex CR:101 ready by Friday night if you want too!

When he first comes over introduce yourself and ask a few basic questions (no embarrassing ones!) and once or twice while he's there (no more than that) just casually go in the room and see if your daughter and the bf need anything like a refill of popcorn or soda. Use your mothering instinct, you don't have to say a lot, but you should be able to get a vibe based on his actions throughout the night.

I would wait a while before really getting to know him, because this is only the second date so it would be awful to (a) get to know him, love him, and keep pressuring your daughter to stick with him, or (b) hate him and try to split them up leading your daughter to stay with him to rebel against you.

If I were you I'd have a 'presence' so they know they can't get up to any naughties in your house, but at the same time not being the interfering mother... tough to perfect, but if you say hello when they first arrive, ask how they are, if they want anything, and say you'll "stick around if they want anything" then that should send the right sort of signals that they aren't alone in the house.

Your daughter sounds like a sensible sort of kid, I got with my boyfriend at sixteen (I'm only nineteen now, but it is very long term for me!) so I think you can trust her opinion in men.

Since you have concerns, address them carefully. Request that the young man picks your daughter up at your house and sit him down and ask him about himself and his family. Where they come from? Why they moved here? What does his father do? What are his plans after high school? I know that its old-fashioned, but you are entitled as a parent to do this. Let your daughter know that you want to talk to the young man. She may or may not like it, but you are not in a popularity contest. Its your perogative and no you are not being smothering. Just because you trust your kid doesn't mean you have to trust the kids they go out with, remember their trust is coming from limited experience, yours isn't. Look him in the eye and if necessary ask a few parents from the group daughter hangs out if they know anything about his family(discretely). Good luck!

Your daughter is very lucky to have a parent like yourself who is concerned with not only her well being but her sense of independence and privacy which if you do get in that space can lead to distance in the relationship. It sounds like you are on the right path with your concerns. when you finally get to meet him you shouldn't feel afraid to ask questions and have a conversation with him. But like you are already aware of, don't take too much of their teenager time. Make it comfortable so that he will want to come back. Its going to be the accumilation of visits with him that you will really be able to tell what kind of guy he is because anyone can fake it for a day, so you don't want to make him feel like he needs to stay away from your home when they spend time together. Trust your instincts, you sound like you have good intuition regarding if your daughter is doing the right thing.

Board games and a Wii wouldn't hurt. Good casual gaming family fun, where you can get a feel for his personality.

I was that guy once, and loved hanging with my girlfriend's family. Her dad loved hot rods and old classic trucks, so we got along great.

Date #2 is still early on, so you may want to hold off on the subtle interrogation later on. ;)

I'll be that daddy looking out for my little girl someday. She's only 3 right now, so I have time to think out my tactics.

I would just get to know him like you would any of your other daughter's friends. Ask him about his life, where he's from, and what he's planning on doing in the future. Most people like to talk about themselves.

On the other hand, make sure you remember that it will be a few years before your daughter settles on a guy. She's not going to marry this one, and he'll soon be out of your lives-this will be just another phase! Smile your way through it and your daughter will never know! I'm married now, and my dad recently told me he hated a few of my boyfriends, but I never even saw that growing up!

1st of all, you haven't even met this boy.......why do you think he isn't good for her? Its because you see it "going in a different direction" and that scares you........your little girl is growing up. Even if you have always trusted her in the past... you are now seeing that she is a young woman and that scares you. The BEST thing for you to do.......is to lose the

tude......the he isn't good for her tude and meet him. See for yourself what he is really like.

Also, a way to interact with them would be to ask your daughter if he would like to come over early for dinner

before they watch movies.....that gives you some time with him.....with them.......

Then......no matter WHAT you feel. Tell your daughter that you like him and remind her that NO MATTER WHAT you always there for her.

IF your inner feelings are right and you tell her you don't like him......that will just make her like him more. And trust me...

she will do whatever to "make it work"........just to prove you wrong. Better to keep your feelings to yourself and then be there for her......when / if........she gets her heart broken.

Good luck, mom.

I am not a parent by any stretch in fact i am younger then you daughter but...if i was you in this situation i would not be all "creepy,nosey mom who likes to grill her daughters bf's...im not saying you are...he he ....but just strike up random conversations and try to get to know him as a person dont ask real personal questions right away..if your daughter is a good kid you have plenty of time to get to know ALL about him and his family and history and junk try to have him over to do stuff at your house or with your family..also ask if his family would like to go with yours somewhere though for some that may be awkward talk to your daughter about how she would like you to go about getting know her bf..