What would you do?

Sounds like a joke to me. The first thing I would teach he is that snooping is bad behavior. Then I would have her talk to her father about the message.

This is not something that your husband should be saying to any of his children. If he really feels he is "stuck" with you, I would ask him what he means by that exactly. If he's not happy with you, then he needs to be man enough to tell you why so you all can try to work on the problems. I don't blame your daughter for being disgusted, this is an awful thing to hear your father saying and he should be very ashamed of himself and apologize to her. In fact, a family meeting should be arranged between all of you where this can be discussed in the open.

He could have simply been making light of a serious situation with the eldest. Don't try reading between the lines for something that may not be there. Ask your husband to talk to your daughter to calm her fears!

I think your daughter should be ashamed she snooped into things that she had no business in and she really has no idea what the context of the conversation was.

I joke with my sister-in-law all the time (we're married to brothers) about how our guys are all our because no one else would put up with them! It's a joke - and our husband's know it --- in fact they just turn it back on how lucky we are to be graced with their presence! Now if someone heard us say "no one else would put up with them" they might assume it was derogatory because they didn't know the context of the statement.

Shame on her for thinking less of her father over something she found by being a snoop and has no idea what it really means!!!

Whether it was meant a a joke or not, I think your husband needs to talk to your daughter. He needs to tell her why he would write that and how it was intended. With you, he should be held accountable for his actions and owes you an apology.

For your daughter, you can just be available should she need an ear to listen.

You need a hug.

Thats weird for your husband to say, you need to address that with him. There may be something deeper going on than an angry younger daughter.

My thoughts are, "I wonder if he was serious, or trying to be funny?" without knowing him, or any details of your marraige it's impossible to say. If he was serious, that's one thing. If he was joking that's another. Are you and your husband happy? If so, reassure your daughter of this, and tell her it's true, he is stuck!

I think she should talk to her dad about it. Hopefully they can get past it but I'd give him a heads up so he can be prepared. What he said was ugly but hopefully it will not destroy the whole family.

You can get really good advice at www.survivinginfidelity. com---this site is great for advice on all kinds of situations. Good luck sweetie.

I would take it as a joke...honestly. just explain to the daughter that he wasn't serious!