Help, I have a fear of being sick and it is preventing me from taking care of my daughter!?

I can tell from your note that you really want to do the best for your daughter, and you know that your problem is getting in the way of your ability to mother her. Your desire to fix the problem is a big advantage in actually solving it.

First, you can see that you need to eat, and that moms need to take care of their children even if the children are ill, and that children need a chance to discover the world and not to be stuck at home and isolated from socializing and life experiences.

Your counselor is not helping you, so you need a new one. Immediately. Today. Call your primary physician, and ask for a referral to someone specializing in OCD and phobias. Ask also about support groups local to you. You will find that a lot of people, mothers included, struggle with varying mental health challenges, and by meeting them you will feel much less isolated and alone. Branching out for support will strongly benefit you and your daughter.

Please also call your daughter's pediatrician, and set up an appointment so you can discuss your issues with stomach flu with her doctor. It is important that your situation is documented, so that her doctor can best advise you when she is sick. Your pediatrician will give you an appropriate list of preventions and suggestions, and this will give you something written so you can best evaluate when you are going overboard and when you are appropriate.

Don't despair--there are very effective treatments for your situation, and by getting a good support group and specialist you are on the right track to get there for your daughter!

Good luck to you!

Edit:

It's a shame that you were punished or scolded for vomiting. It is the body's innate response to germs in the gut, and while you can take reasonable precautions to avoid germs, you cannot "help it." Children shouldn't be scolded. If they're ill with "the barfing disease", I isolate them onto a sickbed away from the children's room with a large plastic bucket, a sippy cup of water, and quiet time and sympathy. I clean out the bucket, put them in the bath, wash out the bucket with soap, and we start again. It is never fun to deal with it, but usually a child is only sick for a day or so.

You ask how "normal" people deal with this. Well the fact is normal people really don't think about getting the stomach flu or throwing up, unless we happen to get the stomach flu or to throw up. It is not something that is on our minds.

I think that it is good that you are seeing a counselor and I think that it may be beneficial for you to bring up different types of anti-depressants with your doctor and see if they may be able to help.

You can not control this right now, these thoughts are involuntary- but if it is affecting your parenting you should definitely make it your top priority to try and overcome this irrational fear.

I "deal" with the stomach flu with a carpet cleaner and strategically placed trash cans since little kids don't always know they are about to throw up. And I don't feel bad admitting I have a really bad gag reflux when dealing with it due to the smell and its not uncommon for me to run to the bathroom and get sick after tending to their needs and cleaning up the mess.

I would share my worst stomach flu story with you but it would probably scare you more but looking back at it I can still laugh at the situation.

You could resort to rubber gloves, but then I don't think that will conquer your fear. What might help is to just make yourself do things that make you uncomfortable.....the only way we conquer a fear is facing it...

I will tell you this though.... and it seems to be a fact that is every day becoming more evident....

Hand sanitizers and excessively washing ones hands are the cause of the new super viruses!! We are becoming soooo clean that our bodies responses are to shut down the mechanisms that in the past have kept our immune systems strong!!! So.....wash a little less...quit using hand sanitizers...and HUG your daughter!! Good luck...oh, yeah...keep seeing that counselor!!!

listen here there is no way to prevent getting sick. if you are going to get sick it's going to happen regardless. listen the only way to try and not get sick is if you dress very warm when you go outside.but otherwise you cannot prevent it. ooh and there are pills to prevent you from throwing up. all you have to do is go to your doctor. if you do get sick. if the baby get sick it isn't her fault. everyone gets sick especially kids ..all you have to do if your daughter does have the stomach flu is to give her some medicine take her a warm bath and lay her down where the heat is. also put vapor rub on her belly and chest it also helps. make sure you don't give her milk. it makes everything worse. give her juice or flavored water. also check her temperature every hour.well i hope this was of help to you. god bless you and your daughter.

I also have a fear of vomit. I'm not afraid of getting sick myself, but I'm deathly afraid of other people getting sick. Before my son was born I worried about it a LOT. Kids get sick and its mom's job to deal with it... Much to my dismay, my son projectile vomited several times a day when he was a newborn. I was so nervous all the time. I used to cover myself top to bottom with burp clothes and forced myself to burp him. I scared myself one night when I went in to pick him up from his crib and he threw up on me. I felt it on my arm and nearly dropped him. Luckily, exposure really is the best medicine for phobias. I'm not saying I'm normal about it now, but I can deal with my son when he is sick (not anybody else though). You HAVE to force yourself to do this. It's not comfortable....in fact it is miserable and frightening....but for your son (and yourself) you need to really push your boundaries. I'm not saying you should go ride the tilt-a-whirl at the fair, but go out in public (take santi-wipes if you must) Hold your child when she is sick (even if it terrifies you). You can get through this.

A psychologist can help. Our brains are full of numerous chemicals called neurotransmitters, and they're essential for us living, regulating our body, and thinking. When someone says 'it's all in your head', yes that's true, but that doesn't mean you can think yourself out of it! Sometimes these chemicals get into a cycle of imbalance, and you get the symptoms of psychological problems. While it's normal for everyone to stray into and out of the fringes of these problems in the course of their lives, sometimes people get too stuck to get out on their own. Medication can help snap your neurotransmitters back to 'normal', and added to that some kind of behavioral or talk therapy can help you keep them there without medication.

Wow.. I'm really sorry. If this counselor isn't helping you then you may need to find one that will. It sounds like professional help of some sort is going to be your best bet. Best of luck.

You need to realize vomiting and sickness of all sorts is part of being a human being. Children need nurturing! Please don't let these fears get in the way of properly taking care of your daughter! If you feel you cannot put these fears aside, then I would suggest letting someone else raise your daughter or trying other methods until you are fit to raise her.

As a parent, you should always put your children's well being first NO MATTER WHAT.

why are you so afraid of being sick. if you do get ill there is nothing that you can do to stop it, and if you are sick then you will have faced your fears. for god sake just get on with your life and look after your child