is it normal for a 9 yr old ( my ex boyfriend' s daughter ) to still call me step mom ?

Sure, attachments are easily formed when a child is young....give it time, she will get over it and forget all about you.

It's perfectly normal, especially if you had a close relationship with her. Ask your ex if you might be able to spend time with her on a friendship basis. Taking her shopping, to a movie or out to dinner.

During this time, explain to her that you love her, but that things just didn't work out between you and her father. Let her know that you enjoy spending time with her but it's highly unlikely that you will get back with her dad.

This, of course, is dependent on how YOU feel about her.

Yes, that's normal. She still has an attachment to you. Just because you and her father are no longer together doesn't stop the way she feels about you. It's sweet and sad all at the same time.

Its normal if she had you for a while as a step mom to not want to have given you up. It wasnt her idea for you to leave probably and its her way of expressing her dissatisfaction over it im sure. You should feel honored taht you are loved like that. id talk to her and explain things to her and assure her that you care for her but things are diff. now which does not mean she cant communicate with you.

Of course it's normal, apparently you 2 have built a very strong bond and she is attached to you.

I don't see anything wrong with her calling you step mom. You gave her what she needed/wanted and is attached to you so I don't see the problem.

I hate stuff like this. It rips my heart out. Children always always always suffer from what adults do in things like this. And I mean the word suffer.

of course it's normal. you were a significant adult in her life and you left. She's a kid. She's going to miss you.

She loves you. How sad for her and you. You had to have feelings for her as well. It isn't easy being in a blended family so she must of thought a lot of you.

Of course it is normal...she is a little girl and obviously she misses and loves you...