Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.
Trending News
relationship issues...?
can a man Learn how to take care of a woman's basic needs: food, water, shelter?
in the past 6 mo, i have had some very trying times w/ my bf. there have been some intense incidents where i've been scared and needed him to make me feel safe (i was scared a person who kept attending group functions in which he had spoken about being violent to women), and my bf got irritated cuz he thought we couldn't stop the guy from coming out.
i just needed him to say "ok, i'll try to watch out for you."
later on, i was at a camp for kids, helping out, and was extremely exhausted. he was also there, and when we were together i asked him to walk a bit slower because i was so exhausted. and he snapped at me saying he had to go eat cuz he was hungry.
all i needed was for him to say "come on, i'll walk with you. we should hurry so we can get there on time for dinner".
another time on a vacation w/ friends, we were all so physically exhausted and tired from lack of sleep. i said i was hungry, cold, and really tired from walking so much. he was too busy trying to sight see. finally i said i was hungry and he snapped again saying that there was no Time.
all i needed to hear was, "are u going to be ok? can u keep going, or we can get a snack somewhere"
he keeps telling me he wants to marry me and everytime i say we should break up, or take a break, he says no he doesn't want to, he loves me. but how can our thinking be SO different to the point that what i NEED is something he would never know to do?
3 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
I'd suggest you two seek "couples coaching." This is different than counseling in that in coaching we assume that the couple is relatively healthy and willing to learn and grow.
This is, of course, the most important question, isn't it? Will he grow? Research tells us that when obstinence is personality-based that there is little hope b/c we cannot change personalities.
On the other hand, it's rarely personality. What you need to know is if you bf has the ability to attend to your needs. If he can learn that your needs may be different than his and that the way you show it is also unique, then there is great hope.
One way to be certain that he cares, but simply does so in a different way than you is to simply take a week or two and observe "how" he cares for you. The now famous book called "The Five Languages of Love" by Gary Chapman discusses 5 different love languages.
The aim of the book is to recognize that almost always we love our partner in "our own" love language, not theirs. It's paramount to learn our partner's love language and love them in the way they need.
BTW, the Love Languages are:
1) Words of Affirmation
2) Acts of Service
3) Gifts
4) Quality Time
5) Touch
There you have it! Give it a go. Watch him closely. I use to think my wife never said "Sorry," but I couldn't have been more wrong. Many "mornings after" I would awake with the nice smell of breakfast in the air. Guess what her top love lanuage was? You guessed it, ACTS OF SERVICE. She was apologizing through the "action" of cooking me a special breakfast.
Peace,
Dave Turo-Shields - The Couples Coach
For trustworthy professional advice take a look at http://www.counselingpros.com/
- 1 decade ago
Talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel. The main key to a successful relationship is communication. There could be something tragic going on his life which has caused him to "snap" for these past six months, so keep that in mind. You may need a break from each other. He may feel annoyed by you, which is common in all relationships. Like I said before just talk to him. If it doesn't get any better then you have to really dig down deep and figure out if all the love you two share outweighs his behavior towards you.
