Terrified Toddler!?

I am sorry your little girl has had to put up with bullying at daycare. If you have gone to the director of the day care and do not feel satisfyed with his response, I think you should make it clear to him that this will not be tolerated and since he fails to see the seriousness of the situation, you will be forced to take your daughter to a day care that will understand the importance of discipline. Your daughter is your world and while there will always be children like that little boy in each daycare, it's not unreasonable for you to expect that the teachers in the classrooms would be willing to put a stop to it and keep a closery eye on things.

Good luck!

The teachers SHOULD be attending the victom first (your daughter) when this little boy (not piece of trash) who is in great need of social skills, pulled your daughters hair. It would have been appropriate for the teacher to point out your daughters face and say OUT LOUD, "when you pulled her hair, it really hurt. If you want to get her attention, you can pat her gently on the shoulder like this ( and have her do it physically). I am assuming these caregivers are trained to guide the children positively. I would ask what curriculum they used and what kind of credendials the caregivers have. The should have at least 15 units in child development. A certificate or child development credential would be great.

I would volunteer one day or two to see what they do. They should have a scedule and routine. Find depending on the age of the children there should be a certain teacher/ child ratio.

Going back to how the teacher handled the little boy pulling your daughters hair by saying , "No No..." was not helpful information to the boy or your daughter. No no, doesn't tell the little boy what to do instead and doesn't show him empathy. I am a preschool teacher and this is definetly not how we were trained to hanle the situation. I would definetly find another program and interview the teachers to see what they do in certain situations. I asked about curriculum and what kind of credentials they had.

I work at a preschool and I agree see if you can drop in and observe whats going on there. I understand your concern about all the boy got was a no no but that is the way problems are usually handled. The kids can't spend the whole day in time out so we are forced to be lenient and let somethings go with a simple talking to. If the behavior continues then the child is separated from the group.

Try talking to your 3 year old. Ask her what she is afraid of. Ask her if there is another child that hurts her. Or maybe an adult. Ask her if someone has done anything to her that she may not like. Don't say "did Alex pull your hair." Don't give her scenarios. Then talk to the day care. She will open up if something is wrong. If she does not say much then may be she just doesn't like school. Like one of my son's make up a different excuse every day. So I know it is just him and no something that is happing at school. Be creative with the way you go about it.

Is there any way you can go there and just observe without having her know you're watching? Any decent day care would let you do this. The fact that the owner was "clueless" is a worry sign for me as a parent.

Maybe investigate that something else may be going on, I pray to God, that something isn't happening that she can't tell you about, are there cameras in that daycare and such? Just a suggestion, maybe look into other things happening, than just her hair getting pulled? She definantly sounds like she fears something about that daycare.

Have a chat with the little turd's parents. You can talk to the kid yourself but I doubt his parents would like it...It is very good you're having your daughter checked, hopefully the results are good.

Time to find a more supportive daycare that has more knowledgable staff.

Tell the teacher that she should be tuting him in timeout or your daughter will leave the program