Should I be Mom, or do I have to share that with his new wife?

No, you are not over-reacting. I am a divorced single dad, and I tend to agree with YOU. And your point is valid, lucidly stated and very solid in its validity.

You need to find out why her kids got taken away from her. It may not be in the children's best interest to be in her care. Usually women have primary custody of the children. If it's for a bad reason, you could ask that they never be left alone with her, and visitation would only be when she's not around.

If she willingly handed over custody of her kids, she doesn't deserve to be called "Mom" anyway, since she gave it up so easliy the first time.

I wouldn't want my kids calling another woman "Mom" especially if she doesn't even take care of her own flesh and blood children. If she wants someone to call her mom, she has her own children for that. Your kids don't exist to boost her ego. Your ex telling the children to call her that just seems like he wants to replace you with her, or she asked him to do it.

Okay...my boyfriend has 2 kids and they call me by name and they refer to his ex-wife as mom. Because she's their mom. When ever he and I talk to the boys, I'm always very careful to make sure that Mom & Dad are mentioned first and then me, grandparents, teachers, whoever else depending on the conversation. I want to make sure the kids (and their mom) understand that I'm not here to replace her, I'm no here to undermine her, I'm certainly not here to turn them against her.

Nothing and no one can change who your parents are and I think your ex is disrespecting your role as their mother by trying to replace you every time the kids show up at his house. There is no way in the world you are over-reacting to this. My boyfriend's kids respect me the same way they do their mom and don't have to refer to me as "mom" for that to happen. Your ex should be teaching the kids to respect ADULTS, not just MOM.

I think that he's rather over-stepped his boundaries as a parent by insisting that the kids call the step-mother anything THEY are not comfortable with. There should have been a group discussion, at which point it should have been said that the kids have the option of calling her "Martha" or "Mom" or "Mother" or or "Mimi" or whatever the KIDS are comfortable with. Your husband is in the wrong.

That being said however, there is no need to get your panties in a bunch over it. It's not going to make YOU any less their mother...it's just getting under your skin and you need to learn to raise yourself above the sh!t-slinging that would inevitably ensue should you press the issue. Just let it be.

No, it's not right for the girls to be forced to call her Mom. They should call her, respectably of course, whatever they are comfortable calling her.

But I do see things from both ends as a stepmom and as a biomom. My stepdaughter calls me Mom, but by her own choice. She's 4 yrs old and I've been in her life since she was 1 1/2 yrs old. She was taught to call me by my first name and has chosen to call me Mom instead. BUT.....

She knows who her Mommy is and will never forget who her Mommy is. If someone asks her if I'm her Mommy she'll tell them that I'm her Mom, her Mommy's at home, and that I'm her brother's Mommy. She knows exactly what's going on....

It still doesn't make it right, but at least know that your girls know what's going on. And they'll judge accordingly because of it. :)

He is WAY over stepping.

You are Mom and will always be Mom.

When my ex got married we had a talk on what our son,then 6,should call his new wife. We tried coming up with stupid nick names.

It was the new step-mom that said my name is Lisa and that's what I want to be called. My son is now 13 and still calls her Lisa.

This new wife should do the same with your kids.

Having been on the other side of the issue (I was the step-mom to a 10 year old child), I was comfortable with him calling me by my name. Occasionally he would call me mom and I answered to that too.

It was left up to him as to what he called me. I would never think that at that age he would feel comfortable calling me mom when she was an every day part of his life.

First I ought to ask what the heck you have been thinking in sound asleep alongside with your substantial different's mom contained in the 1st place....are you freakin kiddin me..... in the journey that your spouse does be attentive to she aint sayin something approximately it.....That or her mom isnt being common along with her little woman.......i could inform you spouse the fact and want she doesnt freak out....I dont think of she is going to be very receptive approximately sharing you along with her mom.... i be attentive to I wouldnt be....Sorry to declare you need to go with and rapid reason all your doing top now could be ruining the relationship between your spouse and your self and the mummy-daughter relationship between your spouse and her mom.....

I think if it bothers you then it's not ok..plain and simple. I know many blended families that use mom and dad for the step parents and that's ok with the bio moms and dads..and that's fine too. It's whatever works for your family. Sit down with your daughters and see if you guys can come up with something special they can call her that isn't mom and isn't just her name. Maybe mom in another language, funny twist on her name...something like that. I'm a step-mom and my step-daughter came up with "Smom" for step-mom.

Hindi Maa

English Mom, Mummy, Mother

German Mutter

Urdu Ammee

French Mere

Italian Madre

Portuguese Mãe

Albanian Mëmë; Nënë; Burim; Kryemurgeshë

Belarusan Matka

Cebuano Inahan; Nanay

Serbian Majka

Czech Abatyse

Dutch Moeder; Moer

Estonian Ema

Frisian Emo, Emä, Kantaäiti, Äiti

Greek Màna

Hawaiian Makuahine

Hungarian Anya, Fu

Ilongo Iloy; Nanay; Nay

Indonesian Induk, Ibu, Biang, Nyokap

Once you guys have come up with something that is special, your girls like, and you are comfortable with, talk to your ex. I think it's important not to minimize the "mother role" of the step mom. Step-moms do everything that bio moms do and it's an important role. For her to be called by her name, I feel, minimizes the important role that she has. No, she is not their mother, you are, but she still has an important, vital and involved role. SHe is not just a random adult in their lives and while your girls are at their dad's their step-mom has a "mother role"

Oh hell no! You aren't overreacting one bit....Your ex husband sounds like a moron...You are your daughters mother...and you alone deserve to be called "mom"...

Your daughters are old enough to know that their new step mother is not their mom....and it most likely make them feel uncomfortable calling another woman "mom"...what in the world is your ex thinking??

Dina K.....did you not read the part where her daughters are 6 and 12? I am fairly sure we are talking years and not months.....I would agree if they were much younger...then they should be able to choose what to call her.....I doubt that they really want to call another woman "mom"...and if I had 2 step daughters that age...I would feel a little weird if they referred to me as "mom" when they have a mother....

You're right, you are their mom, and your kids should have the right to choose what they call the step mother... they also need to tell their father they aren't comfortable calling the new wife "mom"...

Your ex sounds like a control freak.