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A Poem comparing Enlightenment with the all-too brief result of orgasm. Comments?

Solarity Banality

A taste of enlightenment which they call

Orgasms, annihilation of the ego as fall

Emotional and intellectual barriers unto

Direct experience of that under what they do,

The reality of vacuity of identity, frivolity,

Ambition, purpose, humanity, divinity,

In a word, as well as, gymnastic satisfaction

Of more subtle psychic attraction from base

Appearance, through intellectual friction

Warming emotional frisson to soul felt ace,

Number one needs that bleeds into two as

Two become none in the insight of each the

Other who be so constituted as to enjoy

The which they have enjoyed if only to fell as

Incapable of mental constituants of being the

Truth revealed of said success they do so enjoy

As it mirrors into momentary awareness that

Which ages of sages past knew by right

Of attainment in constancy, satisfaction

Beyond any limit imposed of surrounding

Circumstance, the which could but ignite

Said underlying reality to awareness dealing

With surrounding circumstance, penetrating

Both the all and none, as do stars in full flight.

3 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You end two of your stanzas with articles, I've always found this practice annoying. The other thing is that this poem is all about *telling* the reader, I kept looking for an image, something solid to anchor on and there isn't anything. It's so loaded with abstraction, that if you took away the line breaks, one might not even know a poem existed here.

  • 1 decade ago

    It works for me

  • 1 decade ago

    ok

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