how can i get help with somethin thats been their since i was 12?

Maybe talking to a psychiatrist would be very helpful for you.

traumatic things like this can take years to come to terms with, and even when you do it is most likely you will always have feelings or PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder). Maybe having a doctor to talk to and help analyze your feelings will help you cope better.

first of all you have to release the thought of you dating again means cheathing on jake ( if you have that though in your head) , second you will never get over him or forget him unless you get brain washed , because every time a special person enters our life they become a part of us and letting go of that means letting go of our self , i've been there before and the only way to forget is to change , and beleive me thats not easy ,changing mean letting go of everything you like and do and even changing your favorte type of music and by that way you become some one else reither than you ... and by that way you become a stranger to your self which will make your memorise of the past a stranger of you .... it might work but it is not a nice way to deal with problem ...... you choise

who was jake? You cant forget about someone or something like that happening to you. But you can accept it and pray and hope that it will become easier.