What to do with a lazy husband?

divorce the lazy piece of crap

Boy, do I have an answer to your question!

My BFF has been putting up with a lazy husband for a few years now. While I sympathize with depression (I've had it on and off for years and just ADORE my Zoloft), I also know that while it may take a little bit of a nudge, people with depression usually do go for help themselves eventually. This is because depression is so debilitating and miserable that people get desperate - they either get help or they commit suicide (both of their own will). Another thing about depression sufferers, and this is something I learned the hard way about, is that there is quite a stigma attached to having it, which is why people who have depression and claim it outright do not do so lightly. They do not throw it out there as the end answer to questions regarding why they can never seem to "do anything." As a general rule, they do not need to be mothered and have their hand held to get help or get through it (another clue that he's full of it). That only makes it worse as it's infantilizing and insulting - to someone who really is depressed, that is. Someone who demands to be petted like this is just looking for attention from someone who will basically wipe his butt for him.

In other words, your husband is a lying sack of you-know-what. Your husband is using depression as an excuse for one reason only - he does not want to have to do anything, i.e. he's lazy. My BFF's husband pulls this cry-baby stuff all the time. He's too "depressed" to help his 8-month-pregnant wife with housework, holidays, and their 2-year-old son, but he's not too "depressed" to go out gaming and drinking with his buddies, maintain three enormous saltwater fish tanks, play video games and - you guessed it - fart around on the computer.

On the extremely personal side for both you and my BFF, what is extremely notable about depression is the total absence of sexual desire. It isn't one of those "whatever" attitudes - it is a shut down of sexual response period. He's a guy. If he lost his libido and he really loves and wants you, he'd be climbing the walls trying to get his sex drive back. My BFF's husband, despite his claims of "depression", does not have this problem in any way, shape or form. In fact, he pushes and prods her for it whether she wants it or not, claiming it "helps" him, then gets indignant when she doesn't give in. His behavior suggests that he simply thinks he's entitled and again uses depression as a means of coercing her. How do I know this? Because that idiot will describe all of this to anyone within earshot whether they want to hear it or not, no matter that it embarrasses his wife.

If he's really depressed, believe me, you'd have noticed and been concerned long before now. It's a lot more obvious than people think. And - he'd have been desperate enough to call a doctor at least. If he's really so depressed that he cannot contribute to the marriage in any way, including getting a job or at least assuming more household responsibility because you are so busy, then the computer shouldn't lift his spirits much either. I realize my words may sound harsh regarding depression to some who read this, but do realize I am not speaking as a curious bystander, but as someone who has been on this battlefield before and knows the smell, look, feel, taste and sound of depression both intimately and academically. I believe that qualifies me to answer your question and give you a few pointers.

I also work in a law office and I can tell you this for sure: divorce is so expensive because it's so worth every penny. It sounds like you've become a sugar mama and it's time to cut the umbilical cord and send him back home to live with his real mother.

For a while, go on "strike." Don't do anything to help him (cook his meals, do his laundry, etc.). Show him what it would be like if you were just as lazy as he is. If that doesn't work then you will probably have to use a more upfront tactic. Confront him about it tell him how you feel, don't hold back anything. Also, he really could be depressed. Find out if there's anything he could possibly depressed about. If there is a legitimate reason, then you should take him to a counselor. In the end if none of these work, I suggest you divorce him because it seems to me that he is just mooching off you.

LAZY HUSBAND

A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit in front of the T.V, eat dinner, and sit some more--would never do those little household repairs that most husbands take care of. This frustrated the woman quite a bit.

One day the toilet stopped up. When her husband got home, she said sweetly, "Honey, the toilet is clogged. Would you look at it?" Her husband snarled, "What do I look like? The tidy-bowl man?" and sat down on the sofa.

The next day, the garbage disposal wouldn't work. When her husband got home, she said, very nicely, "Honey, the disposal won't work. Would you try to fix it for me?" Once again, he growled, "What do I look like? Mr. Plumber?"

The next day, the washing machine was on the blink. When her husband got home, she steeled her courage and said, "Honey, the washer isn't running. Would you check on it?" And again was met with a snarl, "What do I look like? The Maytag repairman?

Finally, she had had enough. The next morning, the woman called three repairmen to fix the toilet, the garbage disposal, and the washer. When her husband got home, she said, "Honey, I had the repairmen out today." He frowned, "Well, how much is that going to cost?" "Well, honey, they all said I could pay them by baking them a cake or having sex with them." "Well, what kind of cakes did you bake them?" he asked. She smiled. "What do I look like? Betty Crocker?"

Give him a date to get a job by .. or .. you will stop supporting him.

Stick to your decisions.

A job does wonders for depression. A person who works a lot, usually does not have time to be depression. Also - doing what he is doing pushes a person deeper into whatever it is they are doing.

This is a decision which you have to make .. but you will also have to get tough with .. and you will also have to be able to support your decisions .. whether to support him always .. or to stop doing it.

If you give him a choice, he will probably be very reisistant .. and the situation might get worse before it gets better ... but do you really want him to do this forever? It is not a good sign of a supportive husband. It might be best to STOP IT .. before it makes a permanant habit.

You cant control anyone else's behavior. If you are waiting on him, stop. You help no one by doing things for them they can do themselves. If he really is depressed, and he could be, it should end before too long. If you think hes using that as an excuse, stop doing his laundry, and other things you do for him. Dont clean the house, dont cook or make it easy for him to continue this laziness. Good luck

The computer made allot of people lazy. I got a lap top and put it on top of my tread mill, and walk and type at the same time, now my husband does it. He needs motivation.

Sounds like you married a little boy instead of man. Keep striving towards your degree and your job, you are doing the right thing. Do NOT have a kid with this child and when you're ready and have saved up enough money... give him a final choice.

only tell him which you have your era - that is going to not be awkward in any respect because of the fact it fairly is a superbly organic project! My classes are undesirable and the 1st day I ought to spend thoroughly in mattress - for the duration of that factor my boyfriend seems after me and makes me experience greater useful because of the fact enable's settle for it, that is not common being female in specific situations and you elect slightly TLC that might actually assist you thru. so which you need to evaluate only telling him which you have your era and are feeling fairly ill, you will conceal your tampons and you will not ought to communicate it in intensity. as quickly as he knows i'm valuable he won't experience as once you're being lazy or that your behaviour is irrelevant. He ought to understand. desire it fairly works out for you x.

Work it out between the two off you and don't give up.Give him an list off choir to be done, before you leave.You are right he is lazy and computers are addicting.Still happy to have one.

start up a chat relationship with someone else and let him see that you can have fun too! Let him get a little jealous and concerned and either he will pay more attention to his husband duties, or, if he doesn't seem to care, then you have fun without him and let him see what it is like. good luck!