My baby is in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. I'm feeling really sad...?

Well first let me start off by saying that I am praying for you guys!

But it does happen alot and your baby will be fine!

Your husband is scared and when you are scared you lash out at the people you love. I know this because my little one has been in and out of the Pediatric intensive care unit 3 times since she was born(she is almost 4 mo) and she just came home 2 days before xmas and was in for 3 weeks that time. My husband and I lashed out at eachother daily because we were scared, and needed to take "it" out on someone.

It will get better, do NOT blame yourself, and your husband doesnt really think its your fault.

You trusted your dr. Plain and simple and that is what you are supposed to do. This does happen to lots of babies. By the way, most medical professionals consider 37 weeks to be a full term baby so yours was full term. Sometimes the babies just dont want to wait to take that first breath and they inhale the fluid.

It will be okay!

God bless you and baby!!

hun, this is such a tough call!!

it's always hard to go against what a doctor says especially since HE is the specialist.

There's no telling what would've happened and I think it is absolutely wrong of your husband to tell you such things when you are already stuck in such a difficult situation. I know that when we are put in stressful situations we start playing the blame game but your husband should really know better than this. It doesn't matter what would've happened or what you should've done. you can't change it. He has to realize that this is extremely hard for you and that you need his support.

If the doctor would've told me that i run the risk of needing a c-section if i didn't get induce I would've probably done the exact same thing. I was petrified of c-sections.

I'm sure that if you were at home recovering from a c-section, which is no easy thing he would tell you you should've gotten induced. it's useless.

you both should stick through this together offering eachother all the support and love that ought to exist between husband and wife.

Congrats on your newborn - hope he's home soon!

If your baby ingested meconium then he was in distress. This can happen to any age baby in labor and sometimes even when the Mom is NOT in labor. This means having him was the right thing to do, since if he was in distress at 38 weeks then he would have been in more trouble 2 weeks later. At that point you may not have had time to get to the hospital before things went wrong - assuming you even knew. This happened to a friend of mine and it was only through sheer luck and the grace of God that she was scheduled for an ultrasound that day and they caught it in time (she had no idea her baby was in trouble - he had kept moving). You have no idea if you would have had more problems waiting, but as others have said, trust your Dr., and believe the nurse. They have no reason to lie, and every reason to take the most conservative approach which will keep your baby safe. I'm not referring to fear of lawsuit, either. Doctors make the recommendations they make because they know just how very wrong things can go, and they DON'T want that to happen, perhaps as much as we don't want the worst to happen.

Also, in the long run, you are better to have a vaginal birth. Your baby's lungs need something like 60 lbs of pressure to get the surfacant going, and only a V-birth can do that. In addition, C-sections are major surgery with all the risks/dangers that carries, and should be avoided if at all possible. They can take up to a year to heal completely as well.

A similar thing happened when I had my son, only his lungs ended up collapsing altogether. He had to be under oxygen for 3 days straight, which later they said could have caused him to be blind. (The high levels of oxygen could cause detachment of the retinas.)

It is very sad when you can't hold your baby, but instead have to look at him through an incubator, and can barely touch him. My son, too was induced and was slightly early. My water broke but I wasn't dilating.

Your husband is frightened. Which is why he's taking it out on you. Don't worry. Neonatal units now days are very good and I believe that everything will turn out okay. Once the crisis passes, your husband will be so relieved that your son is okay, he shouldn't blame you any longer. It is definitely not your fault. He just has to find some way to express his fear and men don't show fear usually...they just get mad.

Doctors don't know everything. They are just human too. But there is a God who answers prayer, and if you ask Him to heal your son I believe He will answer.He healed my son. I will pray for your baby too.

(((((HUGS)))))

My thoughts are with you.

This is not your fault and MANY babies end up in the NICU that just need a little more assistance in their first few days and weeks.

You had to trust your doctor and take his advice. If you hadn't and then something happened you would blame yourself more. Like mentioned previously even full term babies end up in the nicu for various reasons.

38 weeks is not too early at all. Anything after 37 is full term.

My baby was born at 36 weeks and was in the NICU for 8 days. It was VERY emotional for me. I would cry everytime I walked in there, it is a horrible feeling to leave the hospital without your baby and see them in there.

The nurses in the NICU are the VERY BEST. Please look at this as your baby is getting the absolute best care he can get. A peditrician overseeing him daily, peds neonatal nurses caring for him. Use this time to your advantage and ask them any questions on infant care. Call the nicu ANY time of the day. If you are awake at 3am and thinking of your son, call them and ask for a report of how his last feed was.

Your son will likely have NO long term risks from this and just needs some extra care now. All the best, you need to concentrate and being there for your son.

I understand how difficult it is for you. Your husband needs to be more supportive, this is the last thing you need to deal with. Have the nurse tell your husband that your son isn't in the NICU because you delivered at 38 weeks.

If you have any questions or just need some support please email me.

I would have done the exact same thing you did. You aren't a doctor and you had to trust their opinion. It sounds to me as if this problem didn't have anything to do with inducing, it was just a really unfornate thing that could happen in many birthing situations.

My best friend had a sorta similar situation... actually it's kinda the reverse of your situation. Her baby had grown very large in the last few days and her doctors were not aware of it. She is a very slim woman and even after delivering 2 children she had a lot of trouble. She ended up tearing delivering vaginally, required 105 stitches and loosing a lot of blood, years later she still has problems because of this. Her son had to be pulled out with forceps and had lots of complications because of it and the long delivery. They were both in the hospital for a while and she couldn't really hold the baby that much because of her complications and blood loss.

I think the only reason your husband said that is because he is frustrated, not that it is ok to lash out at you. I'm just saying I don't think he really means to fight with you, I think he's just angry at the world right now and looking for someone to blame. Maybe if you can sit and talk to him and let him let his feelings out he'll stop blaming you.

Just worry right now about getting yourself healthy so you can be ready to bring your little one home (I hope it's really soon!).

My baby was born 4 weeks early as I was induced. It is very difficult to have your baby taken from you and not to be able to hold him as he is in intensive care.

I am disappointed with your husband, as he seems to be scapegoating you for something that was beyond your control. Maybe he is angry at himself, because maybe he should have been there to protect you. Why didn't HE say something to the doctor?

At 38 weeks your baby's lungs are fully developed. What has happened to your baby could have happened at 40 weeks as well.

It sounds to be that your child is being taken care off. Do not worry, soon baby and you will be home together.

Try and take care of yourself and prepare for your son's arrival home.

Tell your husband to grow up. It is bad enough that you have to be sepearated from your baby, which is extremely hard on a woman, not alone have to deal with a critical husband.

It's definitely not your fault. I had a son born after 39 weeks who ended up in NICU for breathing problems for about a week and I had a daughter born at 36 weeks who was perfectly fine and both of them came on their own. It sucks but it will all be worth it when he come home. I remember wanting to take my son home so bad but now that I look back I'm glad that he had everything taken care of in the hospital so that I didnt bring him home and have nim end up needing to go back. Good luck and just know that there's nothing you could have done differently.

If we can't trust our doctors,who can we trust? I think your husband is lashing out at you because he feels powerless. We have to blame someone. The same thing could have happened if you had waited. What if you needed a C section, something might have gone wrong with that too. Who knows. I'm sorry for you and your husband. It's got to be hard to see your baby go through this, but you two need to stick together.

It's not your fault. You were just going by the Doctors recomendation, also the nurse said it happens to babies born at 40 weeks too.

Honestly I think your husband needs to drop it, because it's not your fault at all for having your son 2 weeks early. And you need to quit beating yourself up over it. Just be there to comfort and love your son.

My youngest son spend the first 3 weeks of his life in the NICU. He was born with a diphramatic hernia and had surgery to repair it at a week old. Also myself, I was born with a heart problem when I was born, and I ended up just fine.