Why are you getting married?

The fact is, many people get married for the wrong reason. Note I said REASON, not reasons. They see marriage as a piece of paper. These are often the types that have no idea what marriage is really about. To them, it is just the next formal step in a relationship.

To me, marriage is like a business partnership. It is a Sacrament in my religion (Catholic). It is my commitment to my faith, my partner in life, and my future children.

It is not simply about love (arranged marriages often do better than Western marriages), or a desire for companionsip. It is a real committment to building a life and future with someone.

Love waxes and wanes, looks fade. Even interests change over time. To marry someone solely because they look good, share your passion for cooking, and because you "love" them is not enough reason to marry. Unless you see it as a serious committment, and you are willing to grow and change with that person.

Nowadays, religion is out the window. Couples not having a religious wedding often forgo premaritial counselling, which I think should be mandatory for all weddings. They don't learn how to communicate, they don't learn how to problem solve, heck, they don't even figure out that they are not a good match until the papers are signed.

Many couples nowadays are doing everything backwards. They're invested 5 years living together. They don't want to see it as wasted time, so they get married. Perhaps they already have a child. They want to do the right thing and make a family for that child. Which is good. But then you end up marrying someone not always compatible for you, and some couples break under the stress of their mistake.

I'll be honest. Was I "ready" for marriage? Yes and no. If I had no doubts, I'd be deluding myself. If couples don't, they are not addressing reality, which in itself can lead to divorce.

But I DO know that a lot of my questioning was my own fear of committment, my own fear of losing my independence, my OWN issues.

We went to premaritial classes, spoke with our priest, went to an Engaged Encounter weekend, and REALLY talked about our doubts (well mine!) right out in the open! And guess what?! My fiance didn't freak out. He didn't leave...even when I expressed my concern. He stuck by me, and we grew closer. THAT is how I know he is the one for me, and we are truly a TEAM.

Nowadays marriage is a trendy thing to do. It's making the rounds once again. It's about big weddings, big dresses, and big hair. Don't get me wrong, I had a nice wedding. But that wasn't the focus for me. People forget that marriage is hard work for life.

So to answer your question, I am got married primarily because I feel God called me to it. I met my perfect match. Not just because we get along perfectly, but because we stick it out and work together when we DON'T. We share common goals, interests, and desires. We want to start a family, and we share similar beliefs. We also compliment each other, and work as a team to offer support.

Do we fight? Sure. But the key is how you resolve those issues. Couples that never do, break up.

Nowadays, with "Starter Marriages" being the trend, it's seen as OK to just give up when something's not right. People are told that something is wrong with their marriage if they fight. Last time I checked, married people are still human, they fight. Nowadays, someone will leave their spouse because they forgot to take out the garbage or clean the toilet.

But thanks for asking this question. It's a smart one, and it brings up many good points.

The marriage and divorce section gives a false sense of doom. The only people who ask problems are the ones who are miserable. Happy couples aren't posting questions.

I married at 22, and was totally ready for marriage. This April will be 8 wonderful years.

My man and I have been together for over 2 years now and we've lived together for a year or so. We got engaged just before he left for Iraq. I'm just saying that he'll be home sometime this summer - even from far away he still tries his best to take care of me. He's my best friend and my soul mate. He has helped me overcome some extremely traumatic events in my life. He has been my rock. That's not saying he's perfect. I'm definitely not perfect. He's been divorced once. We've had to overcome some of his bitterness and anger when it comes to getting married again. It sounds so cliche but he is my best friend and I need him. Being that we're getting through this deployment thing and it's actually making us stronger, I think we can survive most anything.

I'm getting married because I love him. Hes perfect for me. Hes my best friend, and I couldn't imagine living without him.

I think the reason the divorce rate is so much higher now is because no one practices old values anymore. We just jump right into things before getting to know someone. We also settle for less. We're all so anxious for the fairytale that we don't stop and truly take a look at what we're doing. We want instant gratification.

I got married because no matter how much I saw my boyfriend, I missed him when he wasn't there. We've been married many years now. We are best friends, and I can always depend on him to be there when I need him. I chose someone who respects me, would never do anything on purpose to hurt me, and whom I enjoy being with. We both know that we made the right choice, and that we are very deeply in love. If you marry the right person, marriage is the best.

hehehehhe.....been there done that. I am not so sure i am gonna get married again......

But at the same time i am not a miserable cynical old bastard thinking the world is gonna fcuk me over, I am a 32 year old an with a full life ahead of me....... lets just do stupid stuff and enjoy the life we have.......

bonk bonk.........

Ive been married almost 5 yrs and i/we couldnt be happier!

i was 22,. and my husband just turned 21. were stronger than ever, and so in love.

so what gives? love has no age.

I agree with you. People need to pay attention to the statistics out there on the divorce rates, Numbers don't lie...there is a problem folks.

You can't stay all alone the rest of ur life...U have to get married some day...and as of Marriages and Divorces section, those people can't handle their own marriages and what they expect it to get better by us? I think that's really insane and a waste of time...If a person can't handle his/her own marriage, then wat the others can do for them?

My fiancee and I are getting married because we are best friends, make each other laugh, and the sex is incredible. :) I can tell she is very devoted to me and cares deeply about me.