Love him, love his dog.?

This is one of those things that points out whether a couple has the ability to work together or not.

If you cannot talk this through and come to some sort of a reasonable compromise it does not bode well for the relationship.

The dog has issues.. issues the boyfriend has allowed to continue for some reason (laziness? afraid the dog won't love him? disinterest?) If he's not going to deal with this issue that is dangerous (biting?!) destructive, unsanitary and making someone who he cares about very unhappy (let alone the poor cats).. then I worry about selfishness and/or an inability to take control and work on solving a problem.

Seriously, this is more a relationship issue than a dog issue. The dog AND the owner need training.. if the owner is unwilling then its NOT THE DOG's FAULT!

animal_artwork is completly right, and has given you some excellent advice. You should go back and read her post again, and take what she has said VERY seriously because it is more of a relationship issue than you realize.

All the dog has done is provided you with your first 'real life' relationship challenge with this person.

If you cant work this out as a couple, in a fair way for everyone involved (all animals included)

then you really need to rethink the relationship.

For him to tell you 'not to mention it again...'

that is NOT a good sign.

You also said that "If we got married something would have to change."

Thats a big mistake going into a life time commitment and thinking things will have to change once you get married.

It doesnt work that way.

Do yourself a favor, and work things out WAY before getting married.

I wish you the best, good luck.

When I got married my dogs and I were a package deal and my husband knew that. However, my dogs didn't have behavioral problems so he had no problem with them (I think).

Keep in mind that dogs are like children to some people. Would you refuse to marry someone with an autistic child or a child who had severe behavioral problems? No, most wouldn't. They accept the children with the person they love. That's what you're going to have to do because it will be your dog too. Luckily though, since you'll both be responsible fo the dog, you can take it into your own hands to make sure the dog is properly trained.

I'm not trying to sound harsh,, but honest.

My dogs play hard with me. The wife does not want the same with her. The dog has figured it out. Only play rough with dad.

you should (over time) teach the dog the same.

From your boy friend's view, the dog is a part of him, what he is, who he is sort of thing. By your BF standing ground on this it shows he is loyal, not easily swayed, and comitted to what he thinks is right, and simply doesn't give in to presure.

Given that is simply him, you can look at it two different ways. Easily you can say he prefers the dog over you.

But, consider for a moment that since this is the way he is,,,, you'll have a rock solid man to count on. One that if and when he says "I do", he means it,,, for life, better or worste. He'll most likely not go chasing a fancier skirt, not abandon you in times of ill health, stick with you when your feeling down, care for you in troubled times. It's simply his carecter. If he gave into you now, would he be as solid as you hope for with you and perhaps a family situation?

Reason I'm saying all this is because I'm 57 yr. old, Long time ago I was given an ultimatum such as this. I had to tell the gal, "sorry, see ya!" and that was that. I felt she didn't want me the way I was, wanted to mold me into something I didn't feel comfortable with, and that's not good (IMO).

What happened? I found anouther. Been married for 37 yrs. now. Raised 2 children that are doing well. And I'm still happy having dogs around. Sometimes multiples. Been through hard times. Been through good times.

Maybe you can relate, maybe not.

just my views on your VERY serious question.

Good luck either way you go.

My hats off to you both. He sounds like a creadable guy.

Sorry about being long winded,, but feel the question needed elaboration for clarity.

The issue is not the dog, the issue is your boyfriend. He did not train and does not control the dog, and the dog 'thinks' he's in charge.

I suggest you consider this situation closely. I would not like to think you would avoid having another dog in the future based on this experience. Dogs and children/babies do coexist well; as do cats and dogs, that is if the standard is set.

Good Luck.

This is going to be you or the dog.

It sounds like the BF has no control over the dog and does not care one way or the other.

Children should not be brought into this situtaion.

If you can not stand the dog tell him me or the dog but be prepared to loose him.

It would be unfair of you to move in expecting to chage the situation. you do not chage peoples main behavior patterns. Either love him as he is or move on.

The dogs needs training asap, and your BF needs to understand that.

However, if it's like your animosity towards the dog won't get better even if the dog gets trained, you both may need to take a decision.

Personally, whoever loves me needs to love (or at least put up nicely) with my dog (s). The difference is that I work with my dog (s) to make them nice and agreable to most people who meet them.

I hate to sound harsh, so please take this with a grain of salt, OK?

If your boyfriend treats his animals that way (neglecting the cats, allowing and ignoring destructive behavior with the dog) and treats you with indifference, when you are clearly thinking long term, why would you even consider not only marrying this man, but having kids with him?

Take the cats and run.

sounds like you BF has been letting this dog do what ever it wants.

YOU need to discuss this with your BF you say you are getting fairly serious but has he mentioned moving in etc,

so talk to him & tell him how you feel

if he loves you he will get a proper dog trainer to help with the aggressive dog problems

good luck

You need to discuss this with your boyfriend right away, before you get more serious. This is a REAL issue that isn't going away, and you don't need it to tear you apart in the future.