First step with troubled teen question?

im a teenager and i know what you mean i also get angry too for no reason

i get really angry when my parents dont let we do stuff i know they just cant do it but i still get mad

another reason is i need my privacy at my house i dont really have much privacy so that is another thing that gets me angry

if you dont want this to turn into anymore problems talk to her if she is upset make sure she hangs out with the right people too

some people may be a really bad a bad influence

Woah slow down! She's just being angry - she's a teenager & her hormones are causing it. If you start being over-the-top now, chances are she will defy you & become much more problematic than what she would've been before.

My best advice for raising a teenager is to set down ground rules (such as curfews, house rules etc.) & stick to them. You need to find that balance of providing framework, rules & guidance, & allowing her a bit of independence & freedom to learn for herself.

I think that your job as a parent is to bring up the best adult you possibly can. I see now (in my peer group) what kids turn out like from 2 different extremes......

If you are too strict with her & don't allow her to learn & make mistakes while still under your roof & care, she will turn into a screwed-up young adult because she will have very few life skills & will not have learnt to cope on her own. Also, I've seen a few people who after finishing school & leaving home, they totally go overboard because they have no idea how to balance freedom & responsibility.

On the other extreme, you can't leave her completely to her own devices either because teenagers need guidance, no matter what they say.

Remember that a teenager is basically an adult-in-training, & treat her as such. My other advice is don't be too mistrustful. I firmly believe in the old adage that if you expect the worse from people then that's what you will get.

EDIT: I just read Revsuzanne's answer - don't alienate your child by telling her she must stop her anger problems "or else" she will be sent away - 1) she can't help it 2) you will make her even angrier & she will resent not having your support during this confusing time for her. Also, don't treat her like a child.

My mother treated me like a mini-adult from early on & expected me to behave as such. This was greatly beneficial to me. If you give her hidings at her age, you are treating her as a child & she will behave as such. You need to start thinking about "older" punishments, such as having cellphone taken away, no TV, limited going out, etc.

And if all else fails, sit her down & tell her how deeply hurt & dissapointed you are by her behaviour, & I assure you, that will be a much bigger eye-opener than taking things away.

Good luck!

Its a wonder anyone lives through puberty. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water, your daughter is acting pretty normal for her age. Do some research into what to expect from this age group, instead of how to rid yourself of the problem. If you think she will just get worse, she will. Try to remember what it was like for you at that age, and if you can't do that, or you are rewriting history, then stop for a moment to think about what it must be like to be her.

The goal of counseling should be to gain the tools to learn to cope. Talk to her school counselor, they should be able to guide you. Her doctor is another good reference.

I think you are scared. You are researching places where you would send her away because you can't deal with her behavior. In my opinion, having been through this twice at the same time, the minute you give up on your child, you have lost her. Sending her away for someone else to cope with her is giving up.

For most kids this passes. You just grin and bear it until they suddenly(it seems)pop out real young adults. Just like childbirth.

Okay... you can start by checking her diet... if she is tanking up on refined sugars (sodas, candy), white flour, and all that other junk... she may very well be a hypoglycaemic in a sugar depression. My dad was a chiropractor... he had a number of patients who (and this is in the days before Prozac) literally went ape and attacked their own family and had to be institutionalized because of their sensitivity to JUNK.

If she is craving this stuff, she needs to be put on a "chromium picolinate" supplement... every meal... she can taper off some when it is under control.

If it is hormonal in nature, you will see her cravings in action more at the build-up to the period... put her on a supplement of "evening primrose oil" in gelcaps. Every meal.

You really need to also limit her caffeine intake, too so she can get some sleep. Another mood smoother is called "Holy Basil"... marvelous stuff... really takes the cloud off of you. Every meal.

Next thing is to sit her little fanny down and level with her. After discussing her diet and all that, you need to spell it all out. She is out of control and you are going to try your best to help her get to the root of it, but if push comes to shove, she will be placed in an all-girls' boarding school that deals with dysfunctional characters.

Next time she "goes off" you need to install a circuit breaker by means of a spanking, then send her to her room.

Set some rules about getting homework done and getting adequate sleep. Don't let her camp on the internet... remove that cord, and the phone cord... and if she has a cell phone, take it from her. Make her get adequate sleep. Get her an herbal sleep aid if you must.

my mom felt the same way about me... i really was lost and confussed and most of the feeling i was feeling i didnt know i was feeling them. my mom took me to hermitage house and made me sign myself in. i was there for 16 day but the longest time they could keep me was 30days and then they had to know what they were going to do but if shes signs in and dosent give them a problem she should be home in just a enough time. it really helped me to see where my life was heading.... get back at me maybe i can help a little more

Military school, you need to stop the behavior now and while you might consider it extreme, you have to do something.