Cheer me up?

my buddy ian and i go camping all the time, this one time we also took a new guy we recently started hanging with rob,

we're going up to this lake that has a trail that is almost vertical, we had to hold onto roots and plants and stuff to help us up the trail. we hiked about 8 hrs up the mountain not expecting it to take so long we tried to hurry and i guess i didn't drink enough water,

its getting dark so we pitch our tent have a quick meal fall asleep exausted.

a few hours later i wake up with a serious leg cramp, it hurts like crazy! and i try to straighten my leg and hit it, the pain is imense and i can't hold it anymore i start moaning and grunting in pain and rolling back and forth between the guys,

ian wakes figuring i'm having a bad dream, he's patting my back saying " it's alright man, it's okay, it's just a dream. "

i'm in so much pain i can't even tell him for awhile it's a leg cramp

meanwhile on the other side of me, rob tells us later he was wandering what the hell has he gotten himself into, we seemed pretty cool but he's starting to wonder if we were maybe like weirdo's or something. he pretends he still sleeping and curls up in ball listening to me groan and ian whispering to me its alright, its okay.

fineally i'm able to say, or combination laugh moan out that i'm having the worst freaking cramp! quite patting my back and punch the crap out of my leg!

next thing you know we all start laughing our heads off ians punching and massaging my leg and robs laughing asks what the heck is going on!

we still talk about that, and laugh like it happened yesterday

hope you enjoyed that

This will cheer you up, it made laugh so hard that I was tearing up.

Sick Leave

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the

Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that

maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a

few days off. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and

made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so

that the Boss might think I was "CRAZY" and give me a

few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and

asked "What in the name of god are you doing?"

I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are clearly

stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of

days".

I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss

asked her "...And where do you think you're going?"

(You're gonna love this..... )

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!

Q: How do you measure a His intelligence?

A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear!

Q: What is Banta doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?

A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why did Banta stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?

A: Because it said `concentrate`.

Q: How do you keep him busy?

A: Write `Please turn over` on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q: Why can`t Banta make ice cubes?

A: He always forget the recipe.

Q: How did he try to kill the bird?

A: He threw it off a cliff.

Q: Why did he take his typewriter to the doctor ?

A: He thought it was pregnant because it missed a period.

a lawyer sitting beside a blonde on a plane thinks he'll have some fun. he says "let's play a game." she says "i'd really rather sleep." he says "oh come on. i'll ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you give me five dollars. then you ask me a question, and if i don't know the answer, i'll give you five hundred dollars." "fine", she says, hoping to get past this quickly so she can sleep thru the flight. he goes first and asks "how far is it from Earth to the moon?" the blonde reaches into her purse and hands him five dollars. then she asks "what goes up a hill with three feet and comes back down with four?" then she closes her eyes to rest. the lawyer calls all his smartest friends, searches the web on his laptop, and finally gives up. he wakes the blonde and hands her five hundred dollars. she puts it in her purse and settles back into sleep. but the lawyer says "hey, wait. i have to know. what goes up a hill with three feet and comes back down with four?" our brilliant young blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer five dollars, and goes back to sleep.

check out the last couple postings I put in.

They are hilarious!!!

Q:how are girls like sentences

A:they both have periods!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3KPAO7FL50

this is so funny!