Can it still be 18+ reception if there's no alcohol?

They might, but you know what you could say: "We could simply not afford it!"

My sister went through the same song and dance. She was only have our 18 and up family there, since she could not afford to have all of the kids. But there was no alchol because a)there were people under age and b)her and her (now) husband do not drink. People called her and said "It's no fair that you aren't serving alchol and we can't bring our kids!" My sister and I(I was the MOH and helped her through this pickle)told them "You don't have to come. We do not have the money to pay for all of the kids in the family. We are on a budget!" and then they'd say "But it's family Kristen/Tiana(depending who they talked to)!" and we'd say "We can't afford it! So just don't come!"

Hoepfuly, no one will complain, but most likely at least one person will and if they do, just tell them what we told our family!

Good luck and congrats!

~Tiana

I think it is completely fine to have an adults only wedding and reception. I'm getting married in October and we're planning a very small wedding (less than 50 attendees). My parents and sister tried to guilt-trip me into inviting all of the extended family, people that I really have no contact with, just out of respect...my response: "It is my wedding, my money and my decision...I'm 21 years old and in no financial position to pay for a wedding and reception for 100 people".

You are not only being responsible by trying to cut your expenses (which is the number 1 thing that I've been told by all of my married friends that they wish they would've done) but you are also trying to avoid a huge mess. The last thing that you need is a bunch of little kids destroying the reception hall's property, or people getting drunk and ruining YOUR day. This is a day for you and your husband, not for anyone else...it is nice to have your loved ones there to support you, however they need to understand that your decision stands.

Just remeber its the Bride and Grooms wedding Not anyone elses. They only ppl they have to make happy is each other.

If they dont want alcohol and 18 and over its your chose. , Remeber anyone who doesnt like it doesnt have to come. We couldnt invite all the cousines to our reception becasue of the size.

Plus alcohol is expensive and I reather spend the money on the honeymoon or more food for the party.

If the parents what to come and have to travel out of town You can give them the phone #'s of someone who will go to there hotel and watch the kids. also give the the #'s to some pizza places that deliver. ANd they can go back to there hotel rooms and drink if thats what they need to do after the recpetion.

Good Luck to you and have a very very happy day. Remeber All you need to do is worry about you and your husband to be.

Your choices regarding food and beverage shouldn't dictate who gets invited. If you were serving mashed yams it wouldn't mean that babies should come because mashed yams are "baby" food. Your reasons for serving mashed yams would have nothing to do with the presence of babies. Likewise your reasons for not having alcohol have nothing to do with your reasons for not having kids. You're not having kids because they don't behave well and you want your event to be adults-only (and because it's less-expensive to not have kids). You're not having alcohol because you don't want people to drink too much. Period. The two are unrelated and, honestly, I don't know why many people would need to know that there won't be alcohol. It's not like it's going to be written on your invitations, right? So if they don't know until they get there, then it's not like they're going to whine and say, "There's no alcohol here! I'm going to call the sitter and have her bring the kids over right now! And you'd better feed them!"

Nobody gets to whine about bringing their kids just because they can't find a sitter. The fact is, going to a wedding is participating in an evening affair. They'd get a sitter to watch their kids while they were at the movies, right? So they get a sitter to watch their kids while they're at an adults-only dinner party too. Just because it's a wedding doesn't mean that kids are appropriate. Especially if you make it a blanket rule.

Honestly, I say that if they don't understand the concept of an adult evening, then, yes, they shouldn't bother coming.

It is perfectly acceptable to have an adult only reception and no alcohol. I applaud you for doing this as you are stopping problems before they start. If age appropriateness mattered solely on the drinking, then an "adult only" reception should be 21 and over.

If someone is calouse enough to complain and argue so their children can come, then I say you have every right to say to them not to come. It's your day, not theirs. What would happen is they might have a good time, but the responsible people there would become impromtu babysitters.

It's hard to keep children from attending a reception, but you can certainly try. Yes, you can definitely say the reception is for 18+ and not serve alcohol. You don't even have to tell anyone that's it a dry reception because it's none of their business. Fact is, whoever is paying gets to make the rules and you say 18+, they follow that rule or don't participate. Simple enough.

Do as you would like. If they do not go that is their problem not yours......

I am having no children at my reception other then those in the wedding and they are getting picked up no latter then 9pm. Some have made noises but I have stayed my ground.

If having a no alcohol reception and do not want kids there that is what you should you have.

Of course you can. Alcohol is not the only reason to not have kids. You relatives are really being ridiculous in not offering to either pay for the kids to eat. How do they expect you to pay for it? If people are offended that you are not providing them with alcohol the heck with them. Hubby and I recently went out for dinner at a really expensive steak house and the dinner was ruined by this 2 year old SCREAMING throughout the whole meal and the parents did absolutely nothing to quiet him down. If that had been me, I would have taken the child out of the restaurant until he calmed down. You don't need that at your reception.

Hey! this is YOUR wedding...and if you don't want to pay for kids to be there, that's YOUR decision to make. Only you know what your budget is. There is nothing saying that children have to be invited to a wedding, regardless of whether or not there is alcohol. You will not be able to please EVERY single guest....but that's ok. If people ask you why you aren't having kids, say "unfortunately it's just not in our budget." If you get any flack for it, stand your ground. People can always opt NOT to come if it bothers them that much. Your closest loved ones will understand.

You need to run out and buy yourself a copy of Judith Martin's indispensable Miss Manner's Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior. You can use it to gently remind "... the guests [who] would argue with it and demand that their young children attend ..." that it is YOU and not THEY who determines who is and who is not invited to your party, and it is YOU and not THEY who determines what beverages will or will not be served.

You don't actually tell your guests "not to even bother with coming." You simply invite them and decline to be bullied or bludgeoned into modifying your invitation to suit their wishes. Their options are (1) accept, and attend on your terms (2) decline, and either get over it or die mad.

Hint: Do your RSVP-ing by telephone so that no one can "misunderstand" that the invitation was for Mr & Mrs Jones only, and not for the whole Jones family.