My kids ask me questions about my highschool boyfriends. Do I tell them about my past loves?

Of course, I mean with discretion, and tell them what you learned. I remember as a teen and with my own daughter, she's the same way and a year older than yours.

They want to know what your experinces were and what you learned. Honesty but discretion is called for, but it is normal mother daughter talk. Treasure it because it won't last and it'll only happen occasionally. It does stregthen your bond though and you need to do that before you can't.

Part of parenting is sharing and helping your children realize that you are a person and not just Mom or Dad. If you want them to be open and honest with you, you do have to return that somewhat or you will never get it in return.

Why not? You can skim around, add a detail, lose a detail .. I mean, I always wanted to know how my mom was at my age, whatever it was at the time. It is curiosity, and it is normal. You can use your past to help them figure out the drama in their own relationships, it is also a learning experience. You can tell them what you want them to know and understand and "work it in" to one of your stories to prove that even Momma was once there .. and maybe gain a little of their trust, knowing you weren't perfect, or you were dumped might help them to open up to you as it happens to them, and can also help you inforce what you want them to know. You don't have to be 100% honest, but you can surely make this work! I think it is a great idea. By telling them it is none of their business you could be giving them the impression that if you won't talk, they don't have to either. Communication is hard to keep open when the teen years come, don't shut the door already!

EDIT: we are talking about a 12 yr old and a 7 yr old .. of course you don't talk about sexual expiriences, but middle school boyfriends, or even best friends, things you did, rules your mom had, hell some rules you broke ... make it up! Make up a story about saying no to drugs, or sex, or being dumped, bullied .. anything your child can relate to, use in their own life, the way you want them too, it can't hurt.

Someone must be randomly thumbs downing people, I see some really good answers being downed.

Good luck!

Nope, at least not yet. And DEFINITELY not for the 7 year old!!! You are right it's none of their business.

Having said that, the time will come when situations will come up in your daughters lives that you can maybe spare them a little pain, or share in it, by telling them what happened to you and how you handled it.

But little kids think it's hysterical that their parents were ever young. They can't imagine that we had posters of rock stars in our lockers and practiced writing our names with the name of the boyfriend of the week! Complete with hearts drawn around it.

But there is plenty that goes on in the lives of our parents that are simply none of our business. Just this week I had to ask my mom some very personal questions about her feminine health because I am having some issues of my own and my Doctor needed some background info. I found out for the first time in my life that my Mom had had a miscarriage before she had me and that she chose to have and IUD put in after my little brother was born, and that she had such a terrible reaction to it she almost bled to death. {She told us at the time that she had a cyst rupture and that she just needed to stay in bed for a few days!} These things were none of my business as a child and would have stayed that way if I hadn't truly needed to know!

EDIT: I stil remember seeing a picture of my Dad at about 18 or 19 kissing his girlfriend at the time. It just really weirded me out because somehow I thought that my parents were each others only boy/girl friend. Well, they've been married since 1953, so I'm close!

I am 18, and my parents never told me stories until i was 15 years old. From a daughter's point of view that i feel like it really affected my realtionship with my parents.

So long as you tell them some stories of your past, whether it be the people you dated or not, it always brings family closer together. They are your children, and i feel like you should tell them stories of the people you dated.. but only the ones that are appropriate for their age. As they grow older, it may have an affect on their relationship decisions.. most likely your daughter. When your daughter is about 15-16, she'll want to know more, and with that, you can slowly begin to talk to her about her own relationships and how to 'choose the right guy' and how to avoid getting hurt.. and by using your past experiences, it adds more meaning to her decisions.

anyway im rambling a bit.. i hope this helps!

good luck.

what does it hurt for your children to hear about you growing up and dating??? Unless you are ashamed of your past loves then NO there is nothing wrong with it! Then its none of YOUR business on who they date when they get to be of that age!!! Make sense??!! NO!! They want to learn from you..is that so wrong? Or they are just curious about your life! Haven't you ever been curious as to know what your mom did at that age? And how she grew up??

If its nothing your ashamed of, then yeah i would tell them. Its good that they're intrested in your life.

It might be a good bonding thing for you guys, and also your 12 year old is just wanting to know what is normal and you are the best influence on her

I think that telling them makes you more of a real person to them and not just a mom. They will know that you had a real life before their dad and when they are older they will know that you understand when they are having boy trouble.

Kids seem to think that we were born parents and don't understand what they are going through because we have never gone through it before. When one of my nieces tragically lost her boyfriend in a car accident she was able to come to me because she knew that I also lost a boyfriend who was killed when I was 17 years old. She knew that I could relate to her in a way that no one else could. Let your girls know that you have been there and done that so when they have questions they know that you can see it through their eyes.

It's definitely normal.. especially if they look up to you...:) they are just trying to see what is normal.. don;t go into any details.. just the basics.. i had 2 boyfriends.. Bob and Todd we went to a dance together once.. blah blah.. nothing specific. and you should be fine. She may have a specific question she is afraid to ask.. you can see if there is another reason she is asking too..

Good Luck!

Hi, they aren't asking about anything sexual so why not tell them about your 'friends'. Think back to when you were 12, weren't you curious about relationships that your parents, grandparents and friends had. I think it is a time of learning for your two daughters, be honest with them but DON'T get into heavy stuff, they are just being normal curious kids. Good Luck! Remember the best teacher is the one that they see in their own home!!!

I think it's fun to hear... my mom used to tell me funny stories about highschool bfs. Advice can be good. I'd keep any sex details out though.