What do you guys think of my poem?

She Forever Keeps

She weeps brother, for the blood spilled, she weeps.

Her sight blinded by ever crimson eyes,

as she waits for daylight that never creeps.

From the anguished the serpent takes his heaps.

She cries brother, for sorrow’s drop, she cries

Her unheard silence, she forever keeps.

She sleeps brother, yearning for life, she sleeps.

Her dreams hindered by murky chaos’ guise,

as she waits for daylight that never creeps.

From the abyss’ depth the grim sickle reaps

She dies brother, for spirit’s shed, she dies.

Her unheard silence, she forever keeps.

She leaps brother, hoping for flight, she leaps

Her fate on halt and locked below the skies,

as she waits for daylight that never creeps.

Brother as you take those unworthy steps.

She will weep and cry but never despise.

As she waits for daylight that never creeps,

her unheard silence, she forever keeps.

here is the link at deviantart.http://ragesaavs.deviantart.com/art/She-Forever-Ke...