my mother says she should come first I say it's my hubbie she wants me to move closer to her my hubbie doesn't

your husband is your life partner.

he will be around long after your mother is gone. life isn't all about money. you can live without her inheritence. she sounds like a very controlling woman who insists on getting her way. that is completely immature and disrespectful to you. she obviously doesn't care what makes you happy, so why should you care what makes HER happy.

it totally disgusts me to hear that any parent would ever give their child an ultimatum. she should be ashamed of herself.

my advice to you would be to stand strong. live where YOU want to live. i'm not saying you should simply put your mother on the back burner, but if she can't respect the fact that you are married and are commited to this man, then she simply doesn't deserve your respect.

i still can't get over the fact that she threatened to disinherit you. she's using scare tactics. show her that you don't care about her money. you care more about having a happy life and marriage.

she obviously is carrying some kind of anti-man baggage. she sounds like she needs counseling.

Per the Pshychologist and Marriage counseling I have had, I learned that marriage comes first. Once you get married, your priority is your husband and kids if you have any. You mom needs to understand that you have your own family now. If she has always been manipulitive, the worse thing you can do is let her know that she still has that power over you. Tell her that you don't want to have end up alone if this marriage does not work and all because she does not allow you to be happy. Don't let her manipulate you, I know she is your mother, but you still have to live your own live and accept the fact that she is not second. She says she will disinherit you only to keep you closer to her. She has to stop being self center and start thinking about you. Your happiness and not just hers. Best of luck to ya. Don't feel bad, you are doing the right thing if you move away from her. God Bless.

Girl, Its about growing up and starting a life of your own. Sounds like your mother is trying to hold an inheritance over your head. Whats more important. The money and your selfish mother or your husband that you love and adore. He is your future. Not to be rude. Your mom is your past. Your parent shouldn't make you feel guilty. You should probably move away. Make her stand on her own two feet. If you moved closer and then decided that you and your husband wanted children. What will your mother do to come between you. Say you're not doing it right. Its a learning situation. Your mom is just a sad and selfish and wants you not to be happy. She wants you to be like her. Break the cycle.

when you give in to her on this, what will be next? having or not having kids? raising children is the only relationship that if you do it right - they leave! blackmail is never an option. I would make it very clear that you love her dearly, and if she ever did have a major health issue, you may be willing to discuss things again in the distant future, but that for now, she doesn't come first. You do!!! and you would like to be happy and married and have a life. if she disinherits you, tell her you hope it goes to a good cause. don't be angry- that gives her a control too...just be happy and live your own life. I wonder if her mother did the same thing to her?

Your mom needs to get over it - and so do you! Don't allow your mother to ruin your marriage, money or no money! Are you an only child? Who else is she going to leave it to? Why does hubs not want to move closer? My mom hated my first 2 husbands - with good reason, I'll admit - but before she passed away, she met & really liked Hubs #3! But, again, don't allow her to manipulate you into losing your husband! She's old & alone now - do you want to be the same way?

She sounds bitter and controlling--don't let the blood money affect you! Let her disinherit you--most likely she is bluffing anyways and what a jerk to use money against you.

A marriage is a bond that should be above all else--children--jobs--friends,etc. You two sound like you really should move further away from the mother--best of luck

Your mom needs a man, hobbies or a pet!

Don't Let her Manipulate you. You are right. Your Husband Comes First Now.

She's just trying to control you. Just Tell Her Straight up Your my mom i love you but We are not Moving We are Happy where we are If you don't like it then do what you gotta do because i 'm not letting anyone live my life for me not even you

This is our life and We are going to do what's right for us

Stay Strong hun

Stand By YOur Husband He comes First

You guys'll be fine

Good Luck

Your mother should already know that you love her and in her heart she should love you unconditionally no matter who you're with or where you're at in life! You married for better or worse.........I say you tell your mother that you love her and if something would ever happen "God forbid", you'd be there in a heartbeat! But you have a responsibility to make your husband happy too........deep down, she has to understand your situation..........you can't just dump your family to make her happy! You and your marriage has to come first here! Best Wishes!

It sounds like your mom is the real codependent in this scenario. You need to live where you and your husband are happy living together and don't let your mothers neediness or manipulations play a role in that decision. Your mother and your husband are both important people in your life but you are a grown adult and she needs to respect that.

Stay with your husband. Your mother is a manipulator. She needs to get on with her life on her own. Be prepared to be cut out of the will but you will be happier. I'm going to bet she had something either directly or indirectly to do with your first marriage problem.