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When sending condolences to a Jewish person?
This is a hypothetical. I hope none of my Jewish colleagues have a death in the family any time soon, but I'd like to know the proper way to express my sympathies should that happen. Is it proper for me to say of the deceased, "May their memory be for a blessing," or is that only for Jewish people to say to each other?
Of course I'd also say, "I'm sorry, you're in my prayers etc." but would like to be acknowledge their beliefs.
Thanks.
Ron Diego, the reason for the question is that I can't very well say to a Jewish person, "May Jesus comfort you at this time." I know not everyone is a Christian, or even a theist, so it's good to be sensitive to who that person is, especially at such a time. That's all.
Hi, Paperback. :)
15 Answers
- Juggling FrogsLv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
Thank you, EcterBob, for your sensitive soul and for this question.
"May his memory be for a blessing" is perfect.
The traditional sentence that Jews say to one another in Hebrew translates to "May G-d comfort you along with all who mourn Zion and Jerusalem." But nobody would expect this from someone not Jewish. It wouldn't be offensive or wrong, just a little strange, I think.
If you are close with the person, you can stop by during "shiva", the week of mourning. During this time, the door will be open, let yourself in, and it is customary not to speak first, but wait for the mourner to initiate conversation.
It's always appropriate to give charity in memory of the deceased. It can be, but doesn't have to be, specifically a Jewish charity. For example, if the person died of cancer, then funding cancer research is typical. Or plant a tree (in Israel via JNF) in his memory.
During the week of shiva, we bring food to the mourners. But this can sometimes be overwhelming, if the person has a lot of visitors. If you're close (or just comfortable doing this, and it's welcomed - ask first), it can be a huge kindness to help clean out the freezer - organizing space for the multitude of kugels that are likely to appear. This is often appreciated more than any food brought to the house.
Bless you, Ecterbob. You are a wonderful person. Your colleagues are lucky to know you.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I'm Jewish. All forms of condolences are appreciated we usually don't sent flowers. But sending over a meal for the family is a generous and very Jewish thing to do. During the first 7 days after a death a Jewish household is usually very full of people, so offering to run an errand pick up some paper napkins or help clean up is extremely helpful. As far as how to express your sympathy, anything you say is that's heartfelt will be appreciated. "You're in my prayers" is great as is, "I'm sorry your going through this and I want to hug you."
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- Anonymous6 years ago
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RE:
When sending condolences to a Jewish person?
This is a hypothetical. I hope none of my Jewish colleagues have a death in the family any time soon, but I'd like to know the proper way to express my sympathies should that happen. Is it proper for me to say of the deceased, "May their memory be for a blessing," or is that only for...
Source(s): sending condolences jewish person: https://tr.im/CcP8O - katiyaLv 71 decade ago
a greiving family will "sit shivah" for seven days. this is the time to pay a visit. sitting shivah is an opportunity for the mourners to talk about the person and remember them with friends, so a good hug and an open ear is the best thing you could give.
curious is right on, jews don't send flowers, we bring food. because a person in greif often forgets to eat, it's their friends' job to make sure they have good food like a caserole or soup or dessert. just make sure that if they practice the dietary laws of kashrut (aka keep kosher), that whatever you bring is kosher (some are very strict, you would have to make it in a kosher kitchen) but it's not at all necessary to bring food.
Source(s): i'm jewish. - ✡mama pajama✡Lv 71 decade ago
You're a mensch.
( That's a good thing )
I am Jewish and see no problem with saying either thing that you brought up. It shows your concern, respect and heartfelt wishes.
I can imagine that this is a question that may help other people sometime, too, so I gave you a deserved star for it.
And I will give a link below to a guide to Jewish funeral practices to help, too.
Source(s): http://www.myjewishlearning.com/lifecycle/Death/Pr... < This link will help you best http://www.uscj.org/Guide_to_Jewish_Fune6211.html - Anonymous1 decade ago
Hi ecterbob :)
The traditional thing to say to a Jew who has lost a close relative is: 'I wish you long life'.
This will be much appreciated by any Jewish person.
Note: you say this if speaking to a blood relative of the deceased.
If it's not such a close relation, you can say you are sorry for their loss, or that your thoughts are with them.
Nice question :)
edit - sorry, am giggling aloud at your edit when you rightly point out you wouldn't mention Jesus!!!
- Anonymous5 years ago
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Yes, I think that would be lovely and such a kind gesture. And I think the words are just fine. I know I would appreciate it if someone had (G-d forbid!) to say that to me. On another note: Why should there be thumbs down to these answers? Is there someone that just goes around thumbing down any answer that a Jew gives to any question? It's getting very immature around here.
- thebigm57Lv 71 decade ago
Just keep it generic...Sorry for your loss is just fine...My condolences on your loss is just fine...you needn't try to be a Jewish person to be respectful of a decedent. PEACE!