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Purdycat
Lv 5
Purdycat asked in Entertainment & MusicJokes & Riddles Β· 1 decade ago

Top 20 Funniest Newspaper Classifieds!?

Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers:

20. Stock up and save. Limit: one.

19. Illiterate? Write today for free help.

18. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

17. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

16. 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

15. Great Dames for sale.

14. Wanted. Widower with school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

13. Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

12. Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

11. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.

10. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.

9. Man, honest. Will take anything.

8. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Update:

7. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

6. Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating

5. For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

4. Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.

3. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

2. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

1. Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops!

22 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    lol, i love you, I got tears coming out from laughing. Thank you.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Hilarious

  • Suite-Pee
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Genius. I always love reading tha ads in papers for mistakes like that. That's a great selection.

  • cats
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Good ones! Funny! 100!

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  • Belladona Spear
    1 decade ago

    In like that, gave me a bit of a giggle

  • ANF
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I like these type of jokes because they are what people actually do and say. Well done.

  • angelrock707
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    ROFL, that was great!! Send these to Leno.

    briliant simply briliant.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    hahaha

    very good

    10/10

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Very good

  • Guess What? I'm Human
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Smacks, snacks. LOL

  • Show more answers (12)
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