Mother In Laws?

Many women don't like giving up the 'Most Important Female' status in their son's life....when he marries that role should automatically go to his wife..in many cases Momma can't step down gracefully.....and alot of that has to do with the way she was raised.....seems to follow a pattern.

Also, men seem to either marry women they think are just like Momma, or totally opposite Momma, here again depending on his relationship with his mother....."I want a gal just like the Gal that married dear old Dad" as the old song goes....but if Momma was a B on wheels....he's gonna look for a lady that has the qualities he likes and none of the qualities he can't stand in his mother.

So as opposites attract they sure as h@ll clash..and if he's got a controlling, overbearing Mother AND Wife....the poor sap ends up caught in a power struggle of gigantic proportions........

It's up to the Mother to step aside and let her baby-boy be a man.If she can't, then Sonny must cut the apron strings.

I have four kids....one is a boy....his older sisters had a tendency to 'mother him'.....I stopped it. "He's a boy, he needs to learn how to be a Man" I would say constantly to them...they now understand....but then I'm not a helicopter Mom, constantly hovering over my kids....I figure if they turn out as adults who don't need me, then I've done my job...of course if they want me in their life...that's different-but not to dictate how they live it, just to be there for the sake of being there......

I dont really know. I love my mother in law. Granted at the begining of the relationship she didnt like me. I was just some girl her son dated in high school. But we hung out, laughed and learned that we like some of the same things. She and I became so close that I started to feel like she was just as my mother. Unfortunatly, due to cancer, I lost my mother in law after only 6 1/2 years of marriage. So I didnt get to spend that much time with her. The most part of our marriage, she was ill and down alot so it was hard to really do much. But she was always there for me no matter what. She is a great grandmother and a wonderful person. I dont know why women cant accept the fact that they sons have ladies. As a mother of a young son, I can say now that I will not be one of those mothers, but I dont want to say at this time, things change. I guess as a mother we have those instints that some women just arent good enough for their baby boys!

You have every classic sign coming face to face with what I call "Toxic-mother-in-law." Toxic-mother-in-law do not respect the boundaries of your relationship and the boundaries between her and your spouse. She will interfere in your life, become time and energy vampires, and because to her, you are an outsider. She hasn't let go of her son and will resent you for taking him away from her.

Do these things sound bad? Well, they're nothing compared to how toxic-mother-in-law will drive a wedge between you and your partner by creating dissension in your relationship. It sounds like that's already happening with you and your husband. You end up feeling unsupported and misunderstood by him, furious at his mother for manipulating him, and everyone starts thinking you're somewhat like unwelcome!

In spite of what you may believe, your husband's mother aren't the problem---he is. He should took a stand with his mother and set boundaries in their relationship, it wouldn't make any difference how much they tried to interfere and give you a cold shoulder. You need to be his first priority; your marriage has to come first before his relationship with his mother and/or parents.

In some cases, mother-in-laws misunderstood their daughter-in-law. To avoid this, try to be civil with you mother-in-law. Show her how much you value your marriage and how much you love her son. Guys normally, don't have that much problem with their mother-in-law compare to a daughter-in-law. When there's competition, jealousy and threat. Do you get my point? This can be avoided if you'll learn how to dance with your mother-in-law's dancing skills. I know this may be difficult for you to understand, but that's the way it is.

ravishingV

Human Relations and Personal Growth Counselor

Im actually REALLY close with my mother in law. She never had daughters, and we have given her 3 grand-daughters, and a grand son on the way. She confides inme, we rae really close. She totally drives me nutz sumtimes, but we love each other just the same.

My mom loves my husband, and he gets along with her really good. Shes a single mom, and hes always being very helpful to her, so they are close

Strange that it works that way isn't it? I have always thought that it was because Moms think that their son is being taken away from them. Women are very protective that way. Cheer up. It's not you that's the problem, it's the MIL. She is jealous in a sense. You stole her baby son away from her. (bad girl) hehehe You will be fine. Just stick by your husbands side. (smile)

My mother in-law does NOT do that to me. We speak & are on good terms. Not every single mother in-law will act the same. I'm lucky that my husband's parents are mature people.

They do get jealous when they see their sons with a wife , I mean wives replace mothers theres an old saying Your daughter, is your daughter all of your life , your sons your son til he takes a wife.. Just remember that its her problem , I went thru this and I basically killed her with kindess until she broke down and we became friends..

women dont like to give up the spotlight to another women. we will no longer be the most important women in his life. its okay with me (lol my son is 19 months though!). i have seen a few mils that are cool, but omg! some are HORRIBLE

I really dont talk with my in laws at all....I lived with them for 3.5 months and it made me think different I hold no ill will towards them at all I do love them but I just dont really talk much to them my wife is always talking to her mom more than she talks to me

I wish I knew.. I hate my *ex* MIL and she hates me and did everything she could to run my marriage and take my kids. jealousy.... I guess