My daughter-in-law hates me and won't let me see my grandson.?

I believe every word you said. You asked if anyone has ever been in this position. The answer is YES, me. I will answer you based on my experience of being in your shoes.

I also could not understand the treatment I got. I did everything in my power to welcome my dil into our family with open arms. I so looked forward to having a dil as only having a son. Every attempt I made at keeping a warm relationship was met with some kind of negativity. She had plenty of time for her family. It took some time but my son got tired of not having his family in his life. They ended up going to marriage counseling because it got so bad. Actually they ended up seeing three before things started to get better.

I NEVER gave up on my family. I continued to tell my dil I only wanted to love her. We were new grandparents and missed the early days of her growing up. She would use our grand daughter to hurt us. She put up such a front in the presence of others to make me look like the bad guy. Luckily that didn't work.

I guess what did was lots and lots of prayers. My own mom was beside herself because she saw how sad I was. Also at one point we joined them for some family counseling. It finally came out that she was jealouse of me and wanted my life. These were her own words. Also my son finally put his foot down. He told me years before that he had never done so sooner because he knew I would love him regardless of what happened and it was just easier to give into her. The longer he did this the worse things got.

So NO, NEVER, NEVER give up on your family. And NO it is never to late. If someone would of told me a year ago how different and good things are today I would of never believed them. Things can change and I wish you the best of luck. I know there are women out there that just cannot believe a dil would be jealous of her mil. Well there are and mine actually told me to my face.

For everyone that says something is missing or this makes no sense, you can't begin to realize how helpless you feel when you are in this situation. Especially with grandchildren involved.

Ask your daughter in law for lunch and talk about the situation with her. You are both adults and should have a conversation about what is going on. Have you always had this type of relationship with her or did it come on since the baby was born? Maybe she feels that if she embraces you then she is turning her back on her mom. There are so many senerios of things that could be wrong. Ask her what needs to be done to have a relationship with her and your grandson. I think if you take the time to sit and talk with her maybe she will understand that you are at least trying. I wouldn't get your son involved or in the middle of things. It just puts a further strain on your relationship with her AND your son. I wish you the best of luck!

"It's too late now"?

I can't help feeling there's something going on that you haven't mentioned.

Keeping you and your grandson from being in each other's lives seems pretty extreme for "acting like a gf" and being in college when she and your son got together.

Do you have any idea what it is that's actually the problem? If so, try another question and explain it.

If not, does your son have any idea?

This is why i don't like dealing with other women, because of their childish stupidly insecurities jealousy issue's and I'm a woman my self, women are just plain evil and haters.

I feel bad for you because it sounds like that ***** had misjudge you without giving you a second chance. She sounds like she controls your son, instead of him being the head of the relationship..since she doesn't like you and doesn't respect you than she's not the right woman for your son and i feel she's not mrs Right girl for him. I think she's childish immature and insecure, your son is weak and should put his foot down because he made that baby too ,Not just her it's fine that she doesn't accept you..maybe who knows she might come around or maybe not but dont worry what she thinks, only you know who you are ..i hope everything works out for you and that you are able to have a close relationship with your grandson soon.

I know what you mean Midterm, I am going through the exact same problem atm. It has broken my heart that my only DS is letting her get away with murder. He is at his wits end as every time I visit which is usually every two to three months she threatens to leave him and take DGS with her. They only live 3 miles away and every time I ring DS to book an appointment to see him and DGS he ignores his phone as he doesn't want to have to ask her for permission, which results in an argument before we go and another after we leave. I never stay longer than 1 hour and there is always an atmosphere you could cut with a knife. I have never done anything but give love and support but it's got to the stage where I just can't keep begging to get visitation. I do not want my DS to lose his child so I have no choice but to give up!

I agree with the first person.

He is your grandson, the son of your son, you're supposed to be there for him and somebody doesn't understand that. Well, have a small saint patty's day party at your home, you and possibly any other children you have? It'll be family and close friends. Invite them.

Try to invite them over for dinner sometime. Gfs don't do that, lol (laughing-out-loud) they invite their gfs to go shopping and do lunch at starbucks. They don't cook. Prove to your daughter-in-law you wanna have a relationship with her and that you'll be there for your grandson when he needs you the most.

Some women are just so insecure they cannot be loving to any other woman. The fact the some of these insecure woman become DIL's and employ emotional theft on their MIL means nothing to them..you are just another woman to hate...sickening and sad. We lost our only son to a woman like this. Six years in the navy and a masters degree and she is monumental jealous mess and social monster. She has the hygiene of a mentally unstable person and the home is "take the kids away " filthy. My son loves this monster and she has convinced him that I am a superficial person "buying" his and the grandsons love if I dare to give gifts. Bottom line ? I am out for good, totally alienated from my only child and grandsons. To say I stopped feeling sorry for her and completely hate this horrific monster is an understatement at its very best and go to bed every night wishing for the divorce I know is coming...as she has no one to torture now but my son..I never hated someone so bad in my life.Tick-tick-tock

Narcissistic Daughter In Law

I cant believe what I am reading----I thought this was only happening to me-my daughter in law behaves so pleasant around my son. I was the happiest ever in a long time when G was born and thought I would be in her life-I am and was always aware of my DIL insecurity with my son due to her behavior-he last came over 3 yrs ago and all she did was text him the entire 15 minutes he was over-his brother is sadden by not having a relationship with his brother but we all have many several attempts in reaching out to her but then she expressed on a text that my family hasnt attempted to see gianna meanwhile we all have attempted and think this is a front to look good in front of my son. she has said many things things that he isnt aware of--i work in behavioral health and had never had an issue engaging people or have anyone who doesnt like me-so I am having a hard time with this. its the families first girl and im devastated with her behavior-she spends lot of time with her side of family --I cry daily, when I wake up, go to sleep, and while driving--I decided to see a psychologist-I want to approach my dil mother b/c they are close and I would think as a grand mother she understand my pain...i need help with this bc my son wont do anything about it

That doesn't make sense. There is a piece of information missing here. It's just not normal behavior. But I don't think you have a lot of options here. That's a pretty major decision to not allow a grandmother who obviously lives nearby, see her grandchild. I'm surprised your son allows her to do that, very strange, that's why I say there has to be more involved here.