Pleading For Help and Advice on marriage..?

Judging by your words, you seem to be a person of passion. People of passion have the ability to love no matter what. It’s a gift and a curse all at once. All relationships have there highs and lows. Many of us struggle daily with the thought of loosing those relationships because of litigating factors unaccounted for. In other words, we can’t control everything. This is something your wife may be struggling with, control. When we human worry about things, it’s a control issue. The key here is to point that out to her in a way that is not condescending or belittling. She may have a lot of stress from work. Be as supportive as you can without sacrificing your own needs and wants. It sounds like you have already try many different avenues to try and make a happy marriage and deal with some of your issues. The bottom line here is that you may not be able to save this marriage no matter how hard you try. It’s hard to except that, I know. Being a person who just got out of a relationship similar to this one, I can relate. Good luck.

Things happen for which there is no explanation and this could be one. If shes worried about her job, come to Florida and work as a Pharmacist for Publix Supermarkets as they cant find enough qualified pharmacists to begin to filltheir need. Maybe a move would be just what you guys need. If a marriage gets complacent or in a rut with no evident way out, the marriage is doomed but changing the scenery does help. You guys need a change to spark upyour marriage. I dont see this marriage ending unless you two really want it too and so far the fat lady hasnt begun to sing yet. Good luck

Well, since hubby and I have hit a slump recently where we are bickering over everything, I'm not sure you can take my advice....but I would sit down separately and make a priority list of how you want your life to be.

Example:

1. Fix marriage

2. Stress free home life

3. Good Career

4. Take more vacations

etc...then compare lists. If your goals and priorities are similar and you both are willing to take the steps necessary, then perhaps you can work through this....

Perhaps it's not working because she is not making it a priority to improve the relationship.....hard to say....

So is this a monetery problem? If it is, try sitting down, write out a budget and stick to it. Constantly arguing doesn't help anybody. Calmly talk about things, and I say talk, not argue. Jobs aren't everything, although you have to bring home the bacon. If you both don't want to end a marriage, then don't. Find some common ground and work! No one ever said that marriage is easy. Best of luck to the both of you.

It starts with going back to the wedding day and those warm feelings. For me, I had to realize that my wife was just lost in hormones and mood swings. I trained myself to not react to them at face value, but found ways to care and serve.

She may will lose her job and so what? If you have a high debt load, get rid of it. Downsize, move to another city where cost of living is lower. Remove the stresses. Let her win the arguments, after all they are trivial!

Find ways to serve her.

While sorting problems seems like a logical step, I would suggest just learning to love her where she is. Then your love is not requisite to her having her act together.

I also start praying for her and find a good Bible based church that seems to be growing and has an open door to whatever fits the two of you...way to many people have a void of no meaning in their lives because they don't know Gods love for them.

You are really focused on what is wrong with her, but in fact this is all about you.

Ask yourself why it is that you feel that you need to "fix" a seemingly unhappy relationship. You see her as having mood swings and anxiety over her job. How are you responsible? You are 100% responsible for all of your actions, choices and decisions...just as she is 100% responsible for hers. So what are you responsible for, and what are you willing to admit to yourself.

This can be a very painful revelation to yourself, however in order to truly grow as a human being, and evolve into the person you have every potential to become, it is necessary.

Relationships are often started for the wrong reasons, so you might want to consider how this started. Often it is largely about what we can get from the relationship. The right reason has nothing to do about "getting" it is about becoming a better complete human being, and supporting another person from a point of loving, respecting, valuing yourself.

Judging another person is always an indicator of our own deepest insecurities or fears..so whenever you do this remember "when you point a finger, four are pointing back at you!"

ok well the first thing that i want to say is that in your question you never said what you were doing wrong just her and most of that time thats what the problem that one party is admitting all there problems and the other party isnt!!!!

communication is the key, if you cant talk and involve each other in your lives whats the point, talking about things is the BEST stress relief!!!

keep each other involved!!!!!

also just both of you try and remember why you fell in love! it mite help but once things start going down it can take ovwe night to get worse but it will never take over night to get better and both of you need to realise your own problems before you can fix them!!!!

hope some of this helped

Hunny, sounds like to me she may have depression, with the mood swings and always worrying, fighting over nothing, sounds like bipolar, with this the person can change with seasons, yearly, weekly daily and sometimes if a severe case of Bipolar several times a day, my husband has this we where on the brink of divorce until he decided on his own that there was a problem, it doesn't take long to figure it out if you get a good doctor.

Hello:

As long as you feel love between each other you must keep going and trying. I 've been married for twenty years and as you know a lot of times I almost got divorce but what a mistake I would had made!! Keep together and say I love you more often!!

Both of you has to want to work it out and stick with it daily. Who wants the divorce and what is lacking here? I don't understand you say one thing she worries about is her job as a pharmacist, what could there be to worry about? unless she is tempted to steal medication? Pharmacists are in demand, try and get her to look elsewhere for employment if it's someone she works with. If you both still love each other you should be able to work through problems. My suggestion is more counseling and both of you going.