I critque so many of other people's poems, its time to submit one of my own.?

First of all, I'd change the title. If you are planning on submitting this to any type of journal or contest, the first thing you need is a better title. An editor will take one look at that title and may not read any further. It is to generic and far to common.

Secondly, I would make a few changes to help with the flow of the poem... do you read your poems out loud to yourself? This is a big help...

I'd have it as such:::

New Title

Slowly carved of borrowed hope and ice

in my arms you supposedly slept

but my prayers did not keep you

from melting within my grasp.

Of your reality, a puddle remains

to speak of both your possible heart

and the failure of my craft

an ocean of eloquent silence.

Hope that helps...good luck.

It's good but I would change an ocean to an iceberg in keeping with the winter dreams line.

I agree with Anita- it's really good, but I, too, would look at changing ocean to keep with the icy theme.