Taking to long to marry, reason for breakup?

She may have been ready to marry you but was not wanting to be forward- wanting you to ask her. After a time she may have given up. Since you had not proposed I would guess you were not ready and after 3 years I would say the bar w/ the guys on V-day was a more of a big deal than if you had just started dating. Since obviously the relationship was not on the same wave length for each of you the break up was a blessing. It's better than she find some one who is wanting the same thing out of a relationship- be it marriage or whatever and the same goes for you. Sounds like there should be more communication on the seriousness of a relationship in the future before 3 years pass. good luck.

This was a great question - extremely valid.

Well for future reference, even if there are plans to do something on the weekend you never, ever spend Valentine's Day away from your Valentine.

As far as your question goes, it sounds to me like she checked out of the relationship a long time ago and use marriage as a basis for the breakup because its better than saying "I found someone else."

I believe that when two people want to spend the rest of their lives together, there is no such thing as the "perfect" time. If they decide after 3 weeks of dating and get married after a month, then fabulous. If they decide after 2 years of dating and get married 7 years later, then that's great too. When you have a lifetime to spend with someone, things like weddings and rings can wait. What else are you going to do for the rest of your life?? =)

Enjoy dating!!

After 3 years, you know whether or not you planned on marrying her, right? And since (I'm assuming) there was no plan in the works, no talk of engagement etc. she figured she better cut her losses and move on. OR she's hoping that by leaving you, it will make you realize that you don't want to lose her and you will propose.

Yes, there is such a thing as taking too long to move a relationship forward. Sometimes a guy can get comfy in one stage while the woman wants to move into a new stage, such as engagement or marraige.

Uh, yes there is especially if you've been moving in that direction for 3 years and never asked and the assumption was that you two were to marry. Some kind of love you have there, bro, if you're letting her go because of email. Sounds like neither one of you are really committed to the relationship and just looking for a reason to breakup. So do both of you a favor and let her go. Godloveya.

I'd have to say there is such a thing as taking too long, but I dont know if you guys were ready. If she's talking to other guys, red flag. You at the bar on Valentines, red flag. It sucks, but it might have been for the best.

While I don't want to take any sides here, I think being sure about marriage and a committed relationship is the most important thing...not a timeline.

Some women are comfortable just knowing that their guy is committed and monogamous...others have a more detailed agenda for their lives.

*married by 25

*children by 30

etc.

As biology plays a bigger part in a women's "family" plans it can be understandable.

Next time, make sure you discuss these things as the relationship develops...that way nobody is caught off-guard.

I don't think so. There could be a million reasons why you don't want to get married yet. Just the price of the ring is expensive, and sometimes people don't have the money or the credit to get the ring that easily. Where you are in your life. Sometimes people don't want to get engaged while they are in college or living w/ their parents.

If any of these don't apply - still don't worry. There is nothing that says "You need to be engaged after X amount of years."

Besides even if your married or engaged, does that make you any happier?

That sounds good. No matter what you say i'm sure she will be hurt but at least she will know why. Tell her the simple fact that you want to be with someone your age. It works out best for both of you.

To some women, yes. Some women are desperate to get married. But if you're not ready, then you're not ready, and the fact that you two broke up is a good example of how you two were not meant to do it.

That is a relative question...It depends upon who you are asking...Yes for some people 3 years is too long to not propose...and for others it isn't a problem...