I'm being bullied in work & walked out this morning, what will i do?

This is totally unacceptable behaviour by your colleague, and nothing can justify it. I went through the same thing almost 20 years ago, but the memories are still a bit raw. What your colleague is doing is illegal in UK law (I see you're from N Ireland), but you must make sure you yourdlef abide by the law.

OK, in my opinion, things you should do include:

1) Contact your boss or HR department to explain what happened, but don't assume that because you are right, either HR or your boss will take your side. They employed this guy, and won't easily admit to having fouled up badly

2) See your doctor - maybe he'll sign you off for a short while. I'm not suggesting this as a 'skive' but to regain your balance. Experts (such as a doctor) will almost certainly notice symptoms in your that you yourself are not even aware of, or thatyou have experienced for so long that you think they're 'normal'

3) Make a writen record (with dates wherever possibe) of all the times this has happened in the past. MOST IMPORTANTLY, keep this record up-to-date if you decide to go back to work there. Try and record the individual in action (does your mobile phone record sound?) but BE CAREFUL - THAT COULD BE AGAINST COMPANY RULES!

4)Try and find someone you can talk to, but be prepared for a lot of people to just say 'oh, just forget about it'. That's likely to be the most hurtful and the most damaging anyone can say, and you will probably hear it from those you consider closest to you (from my wife in my own case). That doesn't mean they're not empathetic or that they're bad people, just they do not understand. Perhaps avoid talking to these people about it and try and find someone else.

5) Try this website - http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/ The owner of the site (Tim Field) went through exactly the same thing as you are going through, and came out stronger and better afterwards. He is often seen on TV talking about bullying and knows a huge amount. He has a book - Bully In Sight - which you can buy from the website which might help.

Finally, be strong and believe in yourself. Take comfort from the fact that pathetic little jerks like your colleague usually pick on the best people to bully since they are the biggest threat to them in their pitifully insecure world. Good luck!

Oops! Nearly forgot! Get legal advice (Citizen's advice Bureau or ACAS?) and don't resign your job - that way the b*stard has won and you'll have to deal with the aftereffects alone

First of all, you had every right to take yourself out of a dangerous situation. Ring your boss and explain that this behaviour is unacceptable - and that it has gone on for a while and you cannot cope with it. Do it now. Apologise for not speaking to him before but you had to calm down. Make an appointment to see him - on his own and if possible, on neutral territory.

Back this up with a written report of the incident - this is really important! Keep a copy of this yourself. Also, think back and make a note of other times it has happened so it is clear that this is not an isolated incident. Put the words 'I wish to make a formal complaint' at the top of the letter - holds more weight if you need to go for constructive dismissal. The fact that you have been employed in the same place for 7 years also carries alot of weight as they cannot say they were dissatisfied with your work!

If you do go back, Princess' idea of taping any further outbursts is a good one. It would be worth investing in asmall recording device which can be downloaded and recorded onto a disc - for more evidence if you need it & I do not believe this guy will change - he obviously has not learnt to control his behaviour and it is probably a bit late now!

If your boss is not forthcoming, I would do is have a word with my doctor, tell him how depressed it's making you. Get signed off for a week and use this time to look around at your other options. The chances are that you could find something much better which will utilise your skills and gain some new ones without a silly little bully breathing down your neck!

Everyone who has mentioned ACAS is right! If you have no joy, go to them. They are very supportive and can give great advice. Places like the CAB are too general for this sort of info.

Good luck. Hope everything works out.

Call and speak to your boss initially and explain all of this. Then follow this up by raising a grievance in writing.

I don't think it can be construed as constructive dismissal as your boss/the company weren't aware of what was happening from the sounds of it and the person who has bullied you doesn't sound like he is your superior.

Have there ever been any witnesses to your colleague's outbursts?

You say there are 4 people in your office (1. you, 2. your boss, 3. the abusive colleague) - who is the 4th? Have they, or anyone else ever had any problems with your abusive colleague.

If I was in this position I would discuss with my boss how I could return to work without encountering the abusive colleague, whilst my complaint was dealt with. If the company do not take your complaint seriously or do not deal with it adequately you can then appeal. ACAS can advise you further on all of this.

You did the right thing, but you need to call your boss post-haste and explain what has happened, because the jag that is abusing you already has. I'd be damned if I'd let this dude run me out of my job. You should go back to work tomorrow, and if this person says anything, ANYTHING, even I'm sorry, tell him you are not speaking to him until you discuss the matter with your boss, and further if you will be recording any interactions that may occur with him moving forward such that a case of harassment may be made against him. Tell him if he has any questions about this to discuss it with his attorney. Put him on notice that this abuse will no longer be tolerated, and make it clear to your boss what has been happening, and that you would like it documented on the guys record. Good Luck

Go see your boss in the morning and tell him everything. It's a shame you couldn't tape everything that goes on when your boss is away! If you do have to work your month's notice, I'd seriously keep a dictophone or recording device under your desk and hope that you catch him saying something that he shouldn't say.

It will be your word against your colleague's - but point out that you have been in the company for 7 years. That is a very long time. You have shown loyalty to the company - but this man is making you miserable. You really need to bring this up, even if you're planning to leave. Don't speak to your colleage or get into any form of conversation with him. Completely blank him if you can. Or say "I do not want you to speak to me, leave me alone."

You definitely need to see your boss about this, whether you want to stay or leave.

xx Emmie

p.s. And get your CV up on Monster.co.uk and get yourself headhunted

Sorry to hear this. It's bad enough having to work in the first place, but when you have to face this crap everyday I'm not surprised you walked out.

Do not contact this prat directly. Go to his superiors and give them a written complaint about his unreasonable behaviour - If you have any witnesses to his outbursts then even better. Once you have officially complained your employers have a legal responsibility to investigate. If they don't do this and you have to resign your position you can take to company to an industrial tribunal claiming unfair dismissal on the grounds of harrassment. I would advise you to then take professional advice from a solicitor, union or (if you're in the UK) the Citizen's Advice Beureau. If you resign without putting in a complaint, there is very little your employer can do as they can claim that they knew nothing about what was happening and that they are not responsible.

I hope it works out well for you.

Good luck

Hey there,

Firstly im going to assume you're in the UK.

1. The first thing you need to do is gain your composure and write absolutely everything, from the first occasion it happened - be as accurate as you can, with dates if you can and also times when/if you have told your boss.

2. You then need to phone up the trade union 'amicus', register with them (its about £8/month) and then they will give you a representative for professional advice and they will then act of your behalf.

3. As you will probably not get advice from Amicus straight away, phone your boss asap, explain the situation, and set up a meeting with him if needs be. Although, I would not return to work until Amicus advises you. (If the boss argues that you should return back to work immediatley, tell them you can not possibly work with this person and go to the doctor and get diagnosed with work related stress - just tell your doctor of your situation and that you're loosing sleep, getting panic attacks and they'll give you a note no problems). Or maybe suggest him the alternative of moving either you or the bloke who you've got a problem with so you dont need to directly work together anymore.

I hope this helps - the most important thing though is to get registered with Amicus asap as they are the ones who know the best!

Good Luck!

You need to talk to your boss, explain the situation and stress that you are not prepared to work in this environment. Tell him you have sought advice and the advice you have been given is make him aware of the situation and let him decide which course of action is appropraite. Leave the ball in his court. If a suitable compromise is not found (ie. Apology from co-worker and a promise that it will not happen again.)or

If your employer cannot grant these thing it is up to you to get in touch with ACAS and tell them your plight, it sounds to me like a good case for constructive dismissal.

Make a complaint to your boss, first verbally, and then if this is not acted on, in writing. Arrange a meeting with your boss and if necessary ask to go out for coffee or lunch or something to get out of the same office to have the discussion. Keep a written log of incidents like this, describe exactly what you did and what he did and then when you need to discuss it with your boss you will have clear examples to hand to make your point. If your boss doesn't take action on what you discuss with him, then put a complaint to him in writing. Then, if the situation doesn't improve and you quit, you'll be able to take them to a tribunal for constructive dismissal and perhaps get compensation. Your boss has a duty to protect you from this and you have a right to be free from harassment and bullying. Speak to the Citizens Advice Bureau if you need more advice on this! Good luck Hx

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/life/employmen...

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/life/employmen...

Either try and discuss it with your boss or fire your CV off to as many jobs that sound interesting as possible and get the hell out. If you try and discuss it with your boss you might have to mention legal action or even say you're thinkig of talking to the police. Unless you have been winding him up this behaviour is totally unacceptable and is bordering on violence, you never know what he might do next. Good luck.