Feel Like I'm Being Forced Into A Wild Bachlorette Party AND I DON'T WANT IT!!!?

I.....Oh, my gosh....I didn't realize I had TWO screen names! LOL, I'm with you! Except my MOH knew how I felt and was okay with it. (It is possible that your MOH is just trying to get a reaction out of you...you know her better than I.)

Well, if it's your MOH that is doing this, could you circumvent that? Do you have bridesmaids that you could talk to? Or, (and this would kind of stink) could you find something you would want to do? Find a spa that you want to go to. (We actually had people come to the house. It was better because we could hang out while a couple of people were getting their whatever done...much more relaxed, and people didn't feel pressured to do anything if they didn't want to. My sister found it on http://www.craigslist.com)/ We also went to a comedy show and then a country bar afterwards. (I love country music.) Kind of like planning it on your own...but merely "suggesting" the idea to your girls.

I'd draft an email to my MOH, and cc all the bridesmaids:

Wow! Look at this place I found. It's a spa that offers x, y, and z. It sounds really fun and relaxing. Talk about a dream day! Oooohhh...or we could go to a _____(insert idea here: mine would be a comedy club!). At least none of us would have to worry about nasty, half naked men hoping for us to shove some money at them. I've found my dream guy and he's the only one I need to see naked...or half naked...or at any level of undress!

Let me know what you guys think!

I totally agree with you. How embarrassing to have some guy wiggling in front of you!

Maybe you talk to your other brides maids and tell them you're really not comfortable with the idea. Tell them (or your MOH in a serious tone) that it would just be a humiliating experience for you rather than the celebration with your girlfriends that you had hoped for (if you are telling them this tell them altogether or let the other bridesmaids know that you have already approached the MOH on numerous occasions but she doesn't seem to listen). Suggest to them the kind of celebration you would absolutely love.

Or tell the bridesmaids (including the MOH) that you would like all the women in your life to be included in the day (your mother, grandmother, aunt- ie MOH's mother, etc.) and that whatever you are doing has to be appropriate for them as well. ie no strippers.

Or say that you and your fiance have a no strippers policy that under no circumstances you are willing to break (discuss it with him so he knows!). You don't mind going to a bar and having a fun night but it has to be without strippers.

Talk to your mom and your aunt and see if they can suggest to your cousin that she should plan things that you want to do. After all, your bachelorette is about you and she should really stop being negative and do things that you are comfortable doing. There is nothing wrong with not wanting a crazy party filled with strippers. Not all people like them. I personally would hate it. If talking to her doesn't work and she insists on the strippers, make sure you take your own car to the party and then you can leave whenever you want to. You shouldn't be made to sit through it just to please your MOH.

OH NO! You really need to set her straight on this! My old boss hired a stripper for my Birthday once & it was awful! He did a handstand with his thing in my face & he had sores on his mouth! LOL! Nooooooo! I don't blame you. I'm not even having a party. I would MUCH rather go to the spa, get a deep tissue massage, a facial. You really need to put a stop to this. Why on Earth would someone want to plan a party that the bride is going to hate?

I don't know! Oh gosh...that is tough.

Obviously you and her are close since she is the MOH. Maybe try telling her in a serious tone that "I really hope you are joking about the wild stripper sex party, because I envisioned a day at the spa or something different"

If she keeps it up, then just tell her please no, and promise to arrange a wild party for her on her ___th birthday!

I'm not against any of that stuff, but I wouldn't want a stripper for my hen party either. I just don't want some strange guy shaking his wang at me - who knows where it's been? Ew.

Maybe she's egging you on so you don't catch on to what she's really doing? I did that to my friend when I really threw her an 80s slumber party for her hen party. Spas are very expensive so I wouldn't expect that, but my gut reaction would be that if she knows you don't want that, she'll plan something else.

You are not the only one! The wedding, herego bachelorette party and bridal shower is ALL ABOUT YOU! Do not cave into their lowest common denominator to "animalistic" behavior!

If your MOH wants to throw such a type of party for herself, then fine.....but like other posters have said, if she cannot respect your wishes - then, personally, I would strongly reconsider if she should even be your MOH.

Tell them this asap, before any firm plans are made. If MOH insists on keeping this a secret, PLEASE drive yourself to the event - do not accept a ride from anyone - or you will be at the mercy of the driver and cannot leave!

Hold strong and fast to your morals and values....don't be condescending when you speak with them, but, after all, this is ALL about you!

I totally agree with you on all of it. Strippers and sex toy parties (wild or not) are not my thing either.

If it were me and I knew she was doing that I wouldn't show up. I didn't even really get a Bachlorette party when I got married so it's not like you'll be missing that much.

Or if she kept is secret until you showed up, I'd leave. That would really make her think twice about not listening to you.

I am totally with you there. One of my bridesmaids is trying to take over the bachlorette party from my MOH, and is trying to do tacky stupid stuff like that, (which is maybe good for her, but it is definately not my thing). I had to have my MOH tell her she is NOT going to do that, as it is my day and I don't like that stuff. Do you possibly have a bridesmaid who can take up for you too. Or tell your other bridemaids that you do not want that and tell them to not pitch in money for the bachlorette if that's what she is doing. I would just walk out and tell them to enjoy themselves if they actually got you a stripper and you didn't want one. ( I have convinced my MOH that we should all go to the beach (2hrs away for us) b/c my fiance's parents have a condo there , and so do one of my bridesmaids parents. We can stay for free, eat a nice dinner, go out if we want to , go to get massages if we want to , and we can hang out all night b/c we will all be staying in the same place. Hope this works out for you.

Ms Crone, I agree with you 100 percent. If you don't want people staring at your car then DO NOT parade around in the Lamborghini. Drive the beater instead. Ladies, if you do not want guys checking out your cleavage, then DO NOT show it off. Brightest Blessings, Raji the Green Witch