Heres one more. Tell me if you like it.?

yup..how bout this one??

title:n0sTaLgiA

i ,long for you

o precious, lovely Queen

My nights are blue

With your face unseen

in the coldness of the dark

never could i see a spark

'til you come and quench my thirst

&fulness before hunger first

yet..

all i could do is stare the other way

as all my days become dull&grey

i hopelessly wished we weren't apart

i ask,"Could i be alone in your heart?"

But what would i do to make you stay

for juz a minute 'til you brreak away?

i could only vanquish my desire

'til you again light its dying fire..

You can do better than this , not a criticism but you can.

Try to think less about what you think people want to read and more about what you want to say.

It looks like when you wrote this you were searching for the words rather than just writing them down as you felt them.

flows very well and tells of the story it was intended to

aww beautiful <3 i like it

I like this. :) I can picture it, hear the fire crackling, imagine feeling like that. Good poem!

nice, very interesting mood....lol

sounds soothing and relaxing, love it!!!