Adult Adopted People: How Does an A-Mom Face All of This and Give her children her best?

Oh Anna,

(((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))) to you.

You are already doing what would be my best advice --seeking help and support for yourself. Keeping yourself healthy-- physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually--is the best thing you can do for your kids.

Your kids both have a very hard road to travel in this life. You cannot make that all better for them, no matter how hard you try. All you can do is love and support them -- and from my viewpoint you are doing a great job of that. Both of your kids have very valid feelings and perspectives. Yes, they are in conflict, but that doesn't mean they aren't both "right." It is hard because it sounds as if your daughter might have a hard time ever understanding how your son feels, because of her brain damage. And your son has a hard time understanding his sister because of how young he is. But he is getting older and because of his experiences probably understands some things beyond other kids his age (unfortunately for him). So maybe talk it over with him and tell him that you understand he is angry, but that his sister's feelings are also valid--and you will help him have a safe place where he can express his feelings away from his sister. I think letting them express their feelings separately may be the only way to do this. But of course that won't always be possible....

Just thinking out loud here... Is there some kind of respite care available to you? Does your son have a counselor? Will the Day Treatment center offer counseling and support to your daughter (I would hope...)? Somehow it seems as if both you and your son need more time without the pressure of your daughter's needs...

You are no doubt right that the relief of the awful pressure you have been under regarding the school thing has triggered at least some of the crying. You couldn't break down before, because you had to be strong--so you were. Now that it is successfully resolved, you have a chance to release the pent up feelings. I get that. So once this new situation is in place it will be easier for you. Or at least I hope so.

You know all this, much better than I. And it sounds as if you are doing everything right--and then some. But make sure you get what you need in terms of mental health and nuturing, and just rest.

Best wishes and hugs to you.

ETA:

Oh, I'm glad your daughter (and you) has such a good Dr. And I'm VERY glad you were smart enough to know you needed help and to get it. These kids need you, sure, but YOU need you even more!

More ((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))

Well I just want to give you a big hug.

I dont know what the answer is but I really feel for you

And yes this is where I believe that Adoption is Necessary for abused children and orphans

It breaks my heart to hear of babies with FAS And drug addicted at birth Just breaks my heart

Just do the best you can and yes get counseling for yourself and as a family unit

I know it has no direct connection but might be able to be used as a guideline. When I met rachael I cried for weeks on and off. It was a release, finally being able to let go of all that junk. When we met her dad the same thing happened all over again and it felt exactly the same. I cried on and off for weeks. I also had a freind tell me one time that she was tough as nails during crisis situations but as soon as it was over she would pass out. Is it possible that this is a release over a long and enduring battle. I'm no doctor just taking a guess.

i've got not examine the solutions yet yet I unquestionably have got here across your questions respectful. besides the incontrovertible fact that i did not % to offer up I choose I were greater effective knowledgeable and researched the result adoption has on accompanied human beings and organic mothers and fathers. If I had usual i might have made particular I had have been given nicely faraway from my mothers and fathers and that they hadn't usual the place i became into living. over the years i became into so worried approximately my son .... if he became into alive, nicely, chuffed yet abuse hadn't entered my suggestions on the time. it is basically on the grounds that i got here across him that i found out that not all adoptees have a sturdy life. My son had a materially good life - mind-blowing domicile, outfits, trip journeys in another country and been to 2 universities besides the incontrovertible fact that he in no way comprehensive the two path. Emotionally it wasn't so super yet i don't think of it became into intentionaland I do have confidence that his adoptive mothers and fathers remorseful approximately not exhibiting him greater affection. They chucked money at him and now remorseful approximately not being much less attackable with him yet with exhibiting greater love quite of "exhibiting" him love with money. besides the incontrovertible fact that I do unquestionably like them with the aid of fact they have been honest with me and that they are making an attempt to construct bridges with him as they fell out in 2006 in simple terms formerly he moved in with me. i understand my son loves them and could continuously be unswerving to them that's what I predicted. i will continuously remorseful approximately not having the understanding and selection to advance my son.

Wow, you're amazing.

Forgive my ignorance as i am not familiar to what exactly your children's special needs are. (except daughters brain damage)

What about telling your son that its okay for him to feel any way he wants but he must do so in a respectful manner. Remind him that you can be angry at someone and still love them.

Yep, thats all i've got.... I wish i could offer more.

Good luck. I'm glad you are getting some help with this difficult situation. I wish you and your family all the best.

(((((hugs)))))

First, I have no adopted children so I can't answer from that perspective. Maybe all they really need is someone who sits with them and listens, and doesn't offer advice. Or offer 'I can see why that would make you feel sad (mad, hurt, etc).'

You cannot change their past. Just tell them you'll be there for them in the future. Give them your best. When we are weak, God is strong.

Wow...I don't know what to say and don't have an answer except from what I've read from you here you seem to be an amazing person. Good luck with your appointment and my thoughts are with you.

you sound like a really good mom to me