5 years, 3 kids, drug habit and lies......should i kick him out?

Question

We have been together for 5 years, have 3 children, youngest is 6 months old. He had an intravenous drug habit when we met, but he managed to hide it from me for nearly a year before i caught him out (stupid me). The drug habit has been on and off for years, and as far as i know, he is no longer intravenously using drugs... as far as i know anyway... and he seems to think he needs to hide it from me when he is using. He lies, steals money from me, and generally puts the well being of our family in jeopardy, finacially. I think the lying hurts the most, i could cope with the drugs, if i knew what was going on. He isnt a full blown junky, he can and does quit for months to a year, but he always ends up back on it. I have given him so many chances, but last time i told him that 'that's it, no more', but i caught him out last night, he denied it, even though i was waving the proof in his face. Hes a good dad, loves his kids, and he does mean well, he just doesnt think. Cont...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

drugs and kids don't mix - think of what's best for the kids! Kick him out and change the locks. If possible, move back with your parents.

Excuse me but if he's using drugs, lying, stealing, etc... he's not a "good dad!"  He's not being responsible and doesn't "mean well."  He is a destructive influence on your children. Do you want them learning from him that this is the way to act?

I know this isn't what yo want to hear but this is the truth.  You MUST remember that your children are your responsibility and they come first in everything!

LittleBarb · Answer

HE is a full blown junkie and YOU are an enabler---by staying with him and only making THREATS,  and NOT following through with those threats,  you are ENABLING his drug habit--and trust me---even when he QUITS he is still a junkie because as you said, he ALWAYS goes back to it... the man needs PROFESSIONAL HELP and needs to be committed to a GOOD rehab center---but will NEVER go until he hits ROCK BOTTOM because in his mind---HE DOESN'T NEED HELP and everyone ELSE has the problem....  Don't threaten.... just LEAVE HIM.. take the kids and GO... go to a shelter if you HAVE to,  go to a relative go to a friend but GET AWAY FROM him... and NEVER go back until he gets and STAYS ON TREATMENT---this will NOT happen over night... it may take several MONTHS if at all... but you do NOT want to subject your CHILDREN to his drug habits ANY LONGER... that's like CHILD ABUSE ..... he can't POSSIBLY be a "GOOD DAD" if he is a drug user--NO MATTER WHAT.. so you leave and he BEST go get cleaned up PERMANENTLY or else he is destine for a very early grave..

julian · Answer

Well, the child shouldn't have kicked the dog to begin with, but 3 years is still just a baby in my eyes. I know the dog bit the child out of retaliation to the kick, but at the same time, the dog should be trained or worked with on not biting. It's the child's fault for kicking the dog, but the law may not see it that way being the child is only 3, so the dog should be disciplined as well, & owner should work with the dog on the biting issue before he/she bites the wrong person & a law suit comes out of the incident! (Happened to my aunt & uncle last year - Their neighbor sued them!) Parents should teach their children to mind, but sadly some don't, so animals sometimes suffer because of it.

Anonymous · Answer

OK first of all, don't make excuses for him. He is a father and needs to be responsible. 

You did vow for better or worse, sickness and health... so I would stick by him, find a way to help. This would be the "for worse" part that your vows talk about. UNLESS you feel that you or your children are in physical harm- in that case, get the heck out NOW!

Take him to a doctor, to an addictions councilor, send him to rehab, talk to someone about how to help an addict... and support him, he needs it now more than ever.

Be strong, you can do it. But do NOT stay if you think you're in physical harm.

mary r · Answer

Sounds like you still love this man a great deal. Why don't you talk to him about getting help for himself and your family. I believe he wants to quiet but just needs some help from you and others so he can be a real husband and father to your kids. If you truly believe in him then don't leave him but give him another chance and make him promise to get the help he needs. Good Luck

itsme · Answer

He might not make it out!! alive thats is......... Don't wait to waitness a possible death of his owen making . He knows now that you well be there for him, no matter how low he gets .. Are you going to stay and witness his demise

abc · Answer

you need help hon, he IS a full blown junkie....you are in denial about that....you need to get the strength to get you and your kids out of that situation......good dads don't shoot up drugs my dear....

cristelle R · Answer

and?

Either way... let him go...time to seperate for a while... he needs to attend narcotics anonymous and go to rehab as well and get himself straightened  up( he can only want to do it for himself it will never work if he does it for you)

big John T · Answer

dont think twice kick him out

Anonymous · Answer

your mother is right, kick him to the curb!

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5 years, 3 kids, drug habit and lies......should i kick him out?

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