Asking permission from the father to marry his 30yo very independent daughter?

I'd have a (very) polite and friendly 'man-to-man' talk in which, after complimenting both parents on their child-rearing skills, fine example as parents, wonderful family ties and familial bonds, I would tell the man I was deeply in love with his daughter, and thought he should know my intentions. Explain how you mean to provide for his daughter, the plans you both share for the future, and how your life is infinitely better just because she's part of your life. Yes...old fashioned...but that seems to be the way you were going.

Oh...Good Luck!

As an independent woman myself I would be a little annoyed if my boyfriend asked my dad permission to marry me. My dad is the sort of person who would also find that weird. I'm not a piece of property.

Others might disagree but I believe no one has a right to give permission except for the person that you want to ask to marry you.

I would go with either options 2 or 3.

If you were to go for for option 2- ask for both parents blessing or support rather than just the father.

But I guess the point is that that is my opinion only - your girlfriend may have other ideas completely (and her family may have different views from my family too). Maybe you could test the waters- talk about a friend who asked a fathers permission or something and see what her views are.

If in doubt- ask for blessing or support rather than permission.

Don't marry.

I think right now in this country and abroad, marriage & having children is a scary proposition whether you live together or not.

Today, the divorce rate is so high due to no-fault divorce. If you have kids, for women - that means they hold all the cards. A man today has to realize that, love and "the dream" aside, the risks to men/fathers far outweigh the rewards. Check the source - some great books and other resources on just this issue.

Family court is tilted heavily in favor of women/mothers. Moms have all the rights, get all the benefits, and dad is too often relegated to a visitor in his children's lives while being an ATM machine for mom. He can lose half (or more) of the cash, cars, house, investments, etc... and worse - the children.

Seriously, if I had known then what I know now about how the divorce machine sucks in fathers, grinds them up, and spits them out so unceremoniously, I would have never gotten married. I would have given up my dream of having a family.

With no-fault divorce (the biggest killer of marriage and families) you don't need an excuse anymore to get a divorce. You just don't have to feel like being married anymore - and with that reality comes the truth - a marriage is no longer a contract, so what's the point except to put yourself and your future at risk when someone "doesn't feel like it anymore?" With women (who have children) initiating almost 3/4 of divorces today (most men don't even see it coming), it's the smart man who chooses not to get married and certainly not have children... and that's a shame.

This affects men, women, and children alike. It affects everyone and people need to wake up to that reality. I know that there are lousy men and lousy fathers in this world - but make no mistake - the are plenty of lousy women and lousy mothers in this world and we should all be treated the same way (good or bad) and that simply isn't happening today.

Whether other people would be offended is not the point. If you want to ask dad for permission, screw everyone else. Do whatever feels right to you. Although, it wouldn't hurt to find out if she already has an answer in mind before going to Dad and buying ring. A proposal does not have to be a surprise to be romantic and traditional.

My son-in-law did something kind of in between when he was about to propose to my 25-year-old very independent daughter. He didn't formally ask permission or for my blessing, but he came to me and told me about his intentions. We had a good talk. It gave me a chance to do the "fatherly lecture" thing and so on. I felt honored that he respected me enough to talk to me first.

You should ask the father first - of course he will say yes but it is purely a courtesy measure. In fact the older you get the more respect it shows by asking.

(oh and the more you butter the inlaws up now the more money theyll front up for the wedding and the easier everything will be!!)

I wouldnt be offended, I think its really considered and it will say a lot about the person you are to her parents...

I'd say: 2. Considering she is very independent, ask the father for his blessing

Talk to her father and tell him you are thinking to propose to her and you would like to know you have their blessing...

Sounds nice... Good luck!

1. Ask his daughter to marry you (congratulations !!!)

2. Ask the daughter if she minds you asking the father for his blessing.

3. Get married and good luck!!!

Cheers!

I think asking the father is becoming kind of old fashioned... lets face it, what are you going to do if he says no?? If she is in her 30s, she's a big girl.. you dont need his permission. You just go ahead and ask her...as for the fathers blessing.. let him come to you with it, you dont need to go asking him for it.

Only you know your girl friend. Personally I think it's ridiculous to ask someone for permission. The daughter is not anyones property. Asking for his blessing is fine, but why not ask that of both parents?

I think your best bet is to ask your girlfriend what she thinks of the whole business. You need to ask her first.