What is it like to have a borderline personality disorder?

Mark-

If you've never done anything else for yourself, do this....get as far away as you can. Borderline is a disorder which will pull you into the whirlpool, completely mangle you and spit you back out. You would'nt put your head into a tree chipper, would you? That's precisely what this is. Jess has the disorder, and even she is telling you to run as fast and as far as you can. Simone said: "It does not mean that people with borderline personality traits are doomed to have poor relationships". she is absolutely wrong about that, they are doomed to have horrible relationships. This is a disorder which affects the people intimate with the "sufferer" more than the one with the disease. Treat her as you would a coiled rattlesnake, because that is precisely the situation. I know, been there, done that. I'll never be the same. Want some firsthand accounts? Go check some of the posts at the yahoo group "WelcomeToOz"

I have severe depression as well as being borderline. The person who said all of us borderlines are doomed to bad relationships was a royal JERK. That is SO not true. At least this girl was honest with you and didn't hide it. I am engaged, so I am living proof that borderlines can have good relationships. Granted, I tend to be dependent, and can be unstable at times, but thats usually when i am depressed. For me, it stems from being seperated from my dad at 1 1/2 and then only seeing him when he could come out here to see me and then having him leave me again ( hense the abandonment issues) and also from the verbal and emotional abuse I endured at the hands of my classmates in Elementary school because of ADHD. ( which I still have, only I am not hyper anymore.) I say give this girl a chance, but if she starts acting in a way that you know you can't handle, slowly back away. Living with this isn't easy but I am here, right? I am doing quite well these days, despite the fact that my mom has cancer. It can be managable, so don't automatically write her off. Give the girl a chance!

Borderline Personality Disorder is basically a dysfunction in relationships. It is usually characterized by poor boundaries in relationships with others, and a feeling of loss of control and low self esteem in relationships. People with Borderline traits often tend to feel what others feel intensely (for example, if a friend is feeling suicidal, the individual might also think of suicide). There is an intense sense of vulnerability, and usually means that they will dump someone out of fear of getting dumped themselves, or out of desire for that person to demonstrate how much they really care.

If someone is telling you this up front, I'd say it's a red flag. It does not mean that people with borderline personality traits are doomed to have poor relationships, but it takes a lot of work and patience from everyone involved.

I have borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder. A lot of times these disorders go hand in hand. I am living proof that we can have wonderful relationships if we work through our problems with therapy and medication.

As somebody with bipolar disorder and borderline, I can tell you this...it takes a really strong and special person to stand by somebody with these illnesses. Bipolar really requires sticking to taking meds regularly and properly and if she's doing that, then things could work out. Is she using it as an excuse for bad behavior or is she taking responsibility for her actions and her illness and trying to get better? If she isn't taking meds or serious about recovery, I would say...run away as fast as you can.

Educate yourself about the disorders to understand what you're getting into. It is NOT easy...it is a struggle every day of my life to maintain stability. And it hurts the people that love me...it is hard to watch somebody you love withdraw into themselves and lose the ability to function normally or experience any sort of joy in life (the depression aspect) - and not be able to make it better for them. Irritability and rage aren't much fun either.

If you want to stick around, you must have compassion but also be able to set boundaries and take care of yourself. Listen when she needs to talk, be there when she needs comfort, do not ever call her crazy, and understand you can not fix it.

Having Borderline personality disorder is something i would not wish on anybody. The chaos and unhappiness that tends to dominate much of our lives is very hard to cope with. Sometimes things are great. But when they're bad, they are really bad.

Perhaps she was upfront with you because she likes you and knows she can not hide this part of herself. The fact is, the symptoms of these disorders do get people's attention. To think every person with these disorders actually wants to draw this kind of attention to themselves is just ignorance. Unfortunately, many people speak (and judge) without knowing what they are talking about or from very limited personal experience.

I would be more worried if she did not tell you at all.

...man-try not to get caught up in all the words-everyone has some sort of conflict and it is lesser in some then greater in others-it's part of life as I realise more and more-ahm not perfect.=)

If she is telling you right away that she may be Borderline. Get away as far as you can. I hate to put labels But most borderlines are attention seekers and will do anything to get attention which includes makeing you feel bad and rush to her every time she does something dumb on purpous. like overdose, cut. I am very serious. I know many of them and they are pretty much all the same.