Parents of smaller school aged children please answer?

I sure would. One of my kids has a life-threatening allergy.

I think most people who haven't dealt with this issue personally just either don't understand it (they're picturing a rash or a stomachache, not anaphylaxis) or they don't actually believe that a food allergy could be so severe. Honestly, I'm embarrassed to admit I pretty much thought food allergies were psychosomatic before my daughter had a reaction that scared the life out of me. Now I realize I was an ignorant idiot, and I'm very glad my ignorance never put me in a position where I was putting another child's health at risk.

Parents who aren't wiling to hold off on the pb&j till after school seriously need to be educated on exactly what they're doing. I think most parents do not really want their kids watching the EMT's come haul off a classmate who has stopped breathing.....

edit -- "pc-ness?" that kind of comment doesn't just make me mad, it makes me scared. somebody who thinks this issue is about pc-ness -- rather than about a kid whose body is shutting down and in danger of dying -- is the person who makes me wonder when i drop my child off at school in the morning if she'll be coming home alive. i can only hope that my daughter spends her day around people who realize otherwise and will keep her safe.

one more edit in response to the person talking about appreciation -- because i do get worked up about threats to my kids' lives (like most parents would!), but i'm also very much appreciative of other people's accommodations. i do know that it's a pain to tailor your child's lunches to somebody else's allergies, and i would never in a million years expect someone to tailor their child's birthday party to my child's allergies (my daughter brings her own food to parties and if there's a concern it still won't be safe for her, we politely decline the invitation). that's just plain rude. please don't think from my worked up state (!) that i'm not extremely grateful to those of you who do put in a lot of effort to keep my kid and those like her safe. i am -- it means the world to me and it means life to my daughter. thanks.

Absurd question. Of course you comply. You give no reason for non-compliance, begging the question, how much of your child's care are you interested in abandoning. More, how much regard for other adults' charges are you willing to disregard?

I would certainly try to comply, but as a parent to a child with allergies, I know how life-changing and immensely overwhelming it was/is to learn all of the possible ingredients that might contain my child's allergen (milk) and read all of those ingredient labels. When we first found out, grocery shopping time doubled! It's getting easier as the years pass, but not only would I not expect other parents to go to all of that trouble for my child, I don't think I'd trust them to, either.

I have parents in my son's class asking me, all the time, if this product or that recipe is safe for him. While I love that they are making an effort, I actually hate hearing that question. Because then, I have to say - unless my husband or I can, personally, read the ingredient label on every product -or- every ingredient that goes into the recipe, we just can't let him eat it. It's nice that they're trying, but it's too important to trust other people with, other people who don't understand the severity of the allergy or love him as fiercely as we do.

'Peanut' is an easier ingredient to find than milk - I don't think there are quite as many ingredient name variations for you to be on the outlook for. But, peanut is also a more immediately deadly allergy. I just don't know how you can trust other parents to care as much as you do about this.

Yes, the school should go 'peanut free'. And, yes, the other parents should comply with the school's rules. But, it's such a hard rule to enforce, both in school and in the real world, that I think your efforts would be better placed in teaching your child how to be safe in the world as it is.

Are you sure that the parents are getting these letters? I was making chocolate cupcakes for my son's class with peanut butter filling and HE was the one who told me that a boy in his class had allergies to peanuts.

I was furious that I never recieved a letter from the school telling me this- I almost just sent peanut butter into a room where a child had severe allergies.

Now I am very careful and actually call and ask ahead of time because I'm not willing to take any chances with allergies and there are plenty of other options to bring in for birthdays or class parties.

Yes. There is nothing so important for my child to take with him to school that it is worth risking another child's life. If it were your child wouldn't you want others to comply? I taught at a school where a student had a SEVERE peanut allergy...parents were outraged that they could not send PB & Js for lunch...they would rather the child with the allergy be isolated and eat alone...how sad!

***If the school is not complying, I would get her a 504 plan.

*****WOW...I wonder if spooky would feel a bit differently if it were her child?!?

*****I think some are missing the point, if it were simply about sharing food, there would not be an issue. With many life-threatening allergies, they cannot be anywhere near the allergen. A child who breaks out in a rash from eating a strawberry is totally different from a child who stops breathing from any contact with peanuts or peanut oil.

Certainly.......I wouldn't be responsible for causing another child to have a severe allergic reaction to something.......I would also expect other parents to comply if my child had allergies. Kids trade stuff and share.......it's their nature.

It would be down right RUDE to not comply with a request like that.

EDIT: If your child has a documented allergy, then I think legal ramifications could be taken against the school if she were to have a reaction. Considering restaurants have to list if their foods are cooked in Peanut oil.......Make sure the teacher is trained in how to use an Epi Pen and make sure they have one for your daughter at all times.

If people expect you to UNDERSTAND where their coming from because they had to fix "special" cupcakes for a birthday party? If it was that big of a hassle, why the hell did you do it?

I have tons of experience working with children and it is VERY easy to find snacks that are allergen free...........It's called fresh vegetables and fruits (obviously none of the ones on the allergy list)......You don't have to buy commercialized snacks for little kids.

EVERY child has a legal and moral right to a safe, public education environment.

I second the comment about the kids watching EMTs haul off a child with an allergic reaction.........I'd prefer to comply than deal with the psychological consequences if my child were to witness something like that!

Talk with the principal of the school. If that doesn't work, try contacting a member of the school board and explain your situation.

I can't believe that your son's school doesn't already have this policy in effect. Food allergies are more and more common these days.

My son is in the 1st grade, and at his school, which is for K5-1st grades, they have a strict policy of NO Peanut products allowed on school grounds-no exceptions. They have that posted on every door of every building. He has no food allergies, but of course I don't let him bring ANY peanut products as a snack to school ever. I would not want to compromise the health of another child. I always think that it could have been my child with the food allergy.

Hope this was helpful!

My son is in kindergarten. In his class are two students that can not have different foods. For holidays there is to be no food brought into class. The teacher remains very strict about this, and it has all worked out fine. For goodie bags for the holidays i have added playdough, stickers, pencils etc... I believe that it is good for the children to learn that others may be affected/or made sick by certain foods. we never take chances. Sorry that your school is giving you a tough time. All the parents in my sons class have complied nicely. Try having a meeting with the teacher, they shoudl check what the children bring into school, if it does not work send it back home with the student. Good luck. Sorry i could not help more.

I had the same type of issue with my daughter. She has severe asthma and was having major attacks at school due to triggers that needed to be minimized. I had to finally call a meeting with all the teachers, staff and school nurse and explain the seriousness of it all. It wasn't until I did that did changes occur. I really don't think they understood until then. My daughter is also allergic to peanuts. One thing that has worked is to ask the school to have one table that is labeled "no nuts" . Your child should be able to take one friend to sit at the special table with her as long as they don't have nuts. Stand your ground, nobody cares as much for your child as you do and it your job to protect her. Good luck as I know first hand that is not always easy.

How would a school ban allergens? There are so many products that can cause very serious problems with some people. That sounds like you want to force your family's eating habits on everyone else.

I know this is a serious deal for families that have children with allergies, but I agree with Spooky (not the picky part). I cook with peanut oil so that would mean that I couldn't send my kids to school with a lunch that I prepared for them.

At my school, kids with allergies, sit at a different table with a teacher (just to be sure kids don't share food). Is that right? I don't know.

Spooky - sorry not picky, pc-ness

Fresh fruits and veggies are a good snack, however, kids are allergic to grapes, strawberries, blueberries, apples and I could list all of them but that would take all night. One child in my daughter's class is allergic to strawberries, he knows to stay away from them.

There is no possible way to cover all food allergies to keep every child safe from allergies, someone is allergic to everything. Well, the only way is to stop serving food at school (lunch and snacks).