During relationships, why do women feel its ok for them to have "male friends" but not vice versa....?

Been there with my ex-wife... She used to scream blue-murder for talking to my ex girlfriend (even though she was the mother of my two kids).

She 'allowed' me to discuss only the children, and would go off on a tangent if she detected conversation going elsewhere.

Of course, she was fine having endless guy friends - even the ones who had openly declared they'd like to get her in the sack (perhaps in not so many words).

Yep - "I can but you can't" was the norm.

It's based on the misguided assumption that a woman won't be chiefly trying to get into a friend's pants. There seems to be an idea that a woman won't be interested in a male friend sexually, or has a higher resilience against infidelity. Looking at the situation though, a woman's male friend is a man and we come full circle to where a man has a female friend. On this analysis it appears that the question is not universally applicable.

edit - I agree Jonmcn49, so 'on average' there will be a fairly equal amount of jealousy from both sides, with separate origins. How does this address the 'cultural' question of women considering it ok to have male friends and not vice-versa (whether or not this is a true observation)?

It all boils down to the stereotype that men "can't keep it in their pants"

It's so hard for many women to accept the idea that men can have female friends without having sex with them, but try to explain them that. If you haven't noticed already, women can get away with being irrational every single time they want to, no matter how pointless their argument may be.

On the other hand, I've met a few, and I emphasize A FEW women who aren't like that and actually trust their partners and don't go accusing him of cheating every time he talks to another girl. Another idea that plays into this is that women are always right, so if a woman thinks that her husband/boyfriend is cheating on her, he must be, women are never wrong.

I have a lot female friends who I've known since middle school, and I've never cheated on previous girlfriends with any of them, nor have I ever had sex with any of them and it's certainly not because they're ugly. Finally, I think that insecure women need to stop blaming men and get over their trust issues.

Actually, that has never been a problem for me or any of the women I know. Maybe it's because the only women I know are graduate students but I don't think jealousy is mitigated by education level. However, it may mean that we are capable of realizing that cross-gender relationships are both common and healthy and releasing us from the need for jealousy.

The entire thing could be avoided if everyone quit playing mind games with each other and were simply upfront and honest about their wants, needs, and desires. Since that's too much for the general public to accomplish, my advice is to be honest in the very beginning. Simply tell the women you are contemplating dating that you have female friends and aren't going to give them up, if she has a problem with that than she needs to move on. Then stick with it.

Because, despite that nonsense from Wreker, men and women vary in their feelings of jealousy. The male is sexually jealous, on average and the female is emotional jealous and fears loss of child rearing resources ( child, or no child )

This has been quantified for some time now, though observation is difficult, divorce proceedings are quite revealing

Evolved humans generate culture, Wreker, unless one is a " social constructionist " ignoramus. You beg the question, Wreker.

I don't know why this is, but it sucks. I watched an engaged couple's relationship disintegrate over the course of a year because she had all these guy friends while he was away at college, and she was a big old flirt to boot. Poor fellow couldn't trust her.

That is the nature of the current predominant double-standard. When a woman "decides" to have primarily all male friends, and to spend plenty of time with said male friends even in the absence of her partner, she is "empowered" and "independent". If a man spends time primarily with an all female crowd sans his partner, he is a "cheater" and a "dog".

Then, to add insult, if the man in the relationship questions his partner's goings on with male friends, he then becomes "jealous", "controlling", and "abusive". Sad.

Myself, I chose to forgo all of that by divorcing my wife who made a habit of sleeping around and lying, and found a wonderful woman who has a balance of friends in her life, male and female; and respects my opinion as to who she should and shouldn't spend time with alone, just as I respect hers.

Because for most, it's all about them. Find an improved model -- one w/o the double-standard!

I encourage my boyfriend to have as many male and female friends as possible. I don't think it's healthy to limit your partner's friendships. I know both men and women who are very possessive of their partners, and I think it's selfish and childish. I have one friend who's partner gets upset if she tries to see any of her friends, so I asked her partner why. Her partner said that she can't trust herself with her friends, so she can't trust her partner either. I could not believe how sad I thought this person's life must be, that they believe they and their partner must be friendless or they'll be unfaithful.

I don't consider this behavior feminist or non-feminist, I consider it selfish and childish, and it shows the person who thinks this way has low self-esteem, low levels of trust and/or problems with self-control. If you can't trust your boyfriend with his female friends, why on earth are you with them?

I would be really worried about someone who had friends of only one gender. If my boyfriend didn't have female friends I would find that very strange and ask him about it.