The love of my life died on Nov. 11th 2007. How am I to get over this?

Let me join with the others, here, in offering condolences for your loss. Go to http://www.mind.org.uk/ and type "grief" in the taskbar, and enter. Call: The Grief Recovery Institute (U.S.A.) 1-800-445-4808, or Hospice (phone book). Email jo@samaritans.org Chatrooms and forums: http://www.chatmag.com/topics/health/grief.html and http://talkingminds.15.forumer.com/ and http://messageboards.ivillage.com/ Other websites: http://www.griefnet.org/ and http://www.helpguide.org/ and http://www.mental-health-abc.com/ and http://www.boblivingstone.com/?q=node30 and http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/ Understand that there are often several stages of grief.

The stages are:

Denial: The initial stage: "It can't be happening."

Anger: "Why ME? It's not fair?!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible")

Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my son graduate."

Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"

Acceptance: "It's going to be OK."

Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). This also includes the death of a loved one and divorce. Kübler-Ross also claimed these steps do not necessarily come in order, nor are they all experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two.

See http://www.amazon.com/ for books on the various stages. After a while, consider making a photoalbum/scrapbook and/or a shrine, in remembrance, and set aside one day per month on which to reflect. Many religious organisations offer counselling, or you may feel more comfortable with a therapist, to express your thoughts, and feelings. Journalling may help in this. If there is depression: visit your doctor, and see depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in section 2.

Suggested Resources on Grief and Mourning

James, J. W. & Friedman, R. (1998). The Grief Recovery Handbook, Collins. Grollman, E. (1995). Living when a Loved One has Died, Beacon Press.

Livingstone, B. (Planned August, 2007). The Body-Mind-Soul Solution: Healing Emotional Pain through Exercise, Pegasus Books.

Simon, S, & Drantell, J. J. (1998). A Music I No Longer Heard: The Early Death of a Parent.

Livingstone, B. (2002). Redemption of the Shattered: A Teenager's Healing Journey through Sandtray Therapy, http://www.boblivingstone.com/

Mine died 7/15/06, we had been together for seven years so i know what you are feeling. Its something that people say takes time, and you will start to feel better, I am not one of those people, I still think of her every single day, and the pain is still there, relationships are still hard, but it doesn't get much easier, and the pain will always be there, but the best way I have found is to remember the fun times you guys had together, and as time goes on you learn to live with only those memories.

i'm so sorry for your loss, you can seek grievance councilling...

people never forget the ones they love, the memory will last forever, but with time the sorrow weakens and the happiness returns.

it is true what they say, it is better to have love and lost then never to have loved at all.

i'm not a trained councillor so i dont want to say a lot of nonesense, but my thoughts are with you and i hope you find a way through this

I'm sorry! (((HUG)))

It's still early in your healing process -- and that's ok -- whatever reaction you are still having is normal for you.

Attend a grief group.

Do something to honor your loved one (like getting involved in a charity on their behalf)

Perform some ritual, to help yourself say farewell.

give yourself time to fully grieve your loss -- that's ok to do--but during that time, as hard as it is, you also need to continue living, the best you can for now.

get over it? you wont.. This person is in your heart forever and should be... move on? yes.. but it will take time... remember all the good things about that person and know that they are now with God and also try to remember that that person would want you to move on...Think of how lucky you

are to have had that person in your life and to have known them,,,, Grief takes Time... good luck and God Bless...

let your heart heal with love and support of others around you. im sorry for your loss

Sorry to hear :0/

help is available at back YA Q&A.Easy!